yesterday we sent the ailing widow in 613 to a real hospital temporarily so they could insert a few tubes and run a few tests. she’d been whining about her unlucky room number since the day she arrived but it’s got a great view and she’s reluctant to give that up. nursemyra showed BabyJane a room on the fifth floor and offered to do a transfer but having a view was a higher priority than a lucky number so the whining had continued.
BabyJane is your typical gimcrack patient. she has a lurid history involving a Russian prince, a husband who was a preacher, a gambling addiction, a dwarf and a ouija board. a year or two shy of 80, she still goes to bed at night with her hair bound in rags to form ringlets and paints false spidery lashes beneath her eyes in the morning. her preferred mode of dress is tight capri pants and a low cut top to display plenty of cleavage. It may have looked ok when she was continent but capri pads and wee-catchers do not make an attractive fashion statement even at the Gimcrack.
we have 3 other rooms where the number 13 appears on the door and strangely enough, they are all vacant at the moment. BabyJane’s whining brought this to nursemyra’s attention and today I got out the old register to see just who had been the last lucky occupants.
513 had been the rockspider. none of us knew about this until a current affairs crew camped outside the gimcrack last year hoping to boost flagging ratings with an expose of alleged hijinks in the 1950s. he had an aneurism in January and the room’s been vacant since.
the last occupant of 413 had been one of nursemyra’s favourites. Beppy was a gentleman, always helping old ladies who dropped their walking sticks or passing them the digestive biscuits at morning tea. he had a full head of bodgie hair styled in an optimistic quiff and saturated with california poppy oil. his dipsomaniac doctor let it slip in the nurse’s clinic one day that Beppy had served 30 years for a double murder in an off-licence heist gone wrong. he died in his sleep on australia day. RIP Beppy.
313 was an ex senior sergeant in the police force. hmmm….. there seems to be some sort of criminal connection happening with these rooms but let’s not go there. SS breathed his last earlier this month after complications arose from acute psoriasis. he left behind a room carpeted in a thick layer of shed skin that Guiseppe mistook for fish scales. 313 is designated a high level care room so we’ll have no trouble filling that spot as soon as the vacuum cleaner recovers.
in fact, if BabyJane’s prognosis is not good that’s where she’ll be heading. another unlucky number and no compensating harbour glimpses. I can already hear the whining……. but look on the bright side, BJ. April 13 is coming up and it’s a Friday. if history is anything to go by you may be reunited with the prince, the preacher and the dwarf in about 3 weeks.
You could know for sure by consulting the ouija bourd…
Sounds like next week’s movie night ought to feature “The Seventh Seal”
anaglyph: I have the ouija board but no one’s volunteered their pointer
FFF: I hope you’re not suggesting the Gimcrack hosts any black plague. we’re a fully endorsed health facility (with cockroaches)
Nope, just a chess tournament for pasty-faced goths and Catholic priest imitators
so long as we’re playing for money and not a cilice
Touche’ my dear
[...] babyjane was one of the worst. she’d been married three times, had countless affairs and was very reliant on male admiration. for those of you who can’t be bothered clicking the link: she went to bed at night with her hair bound in rags to form ringlets and painted false spidery lashes beneath her eyes in the morning. her preferred mode of dress was tight capri pants and a top cut low to display plenty of cleavage. [...]