our patients are always losing things. several times a day they will drop by my desk to ask about missing keys, glasses, mobile phones, wallets and false teeth. we do our best to help find these misplaced items even when they’ve been left in awkward places. It still irks me that we weren’t able to locate the battery from Duc L’Orange’s transistor radio but at least no one can say we didn’t thoroughly search all possible nooks and crannies.
the majority of lost property is found in obvious spots around the Gimcrack. keys and phones are left in the cafeteria. watches and false teeth often turn up in bathrooms. glasses and books tend to accumulate in the library. only once did we have to search a rectum and even then it turned out to be a false alarm.
when trawling the net this morning I came upon a medical journal article about this very problem. it’s another case of someone accidently sitting on a carelessly discarded appliance and ending up at a hopital not dissimilar to ours. don’t click on this link if you’re at all squeamish as the pictures are pretty graphic.
but I would like to bring this excerpt from the report to your attention:
Foreign bodies in the rectum and colon are a well-described phenomenon most commonly seen in association with anal eroticism. Busch and Starling [ 12 ] reviewed the literature and revealed a plethora of foreign bodies, which have been removed from the rectum. These included a whisky bottle, a light bulb and a magazine. Marks [ 6 ] reported a pair of spectacles in the rectum of a 38-year-old man.
I’m trying to picture the scenario. myopic whisky drinker attempts to read a magazine in poor light……..