nudity down the hall

regualr readers will have noticed there have been fewer posts on inmates antics lately. this is not because they have all been behaving, rather that they have all been doing the usual crazy things and there’s only so much I can write about  geriatric sex and the associated six different types of bodily fluids.

so here’s a roundup of last week’s activities:

Mrs E removed the sheet covering her mirror and had taken to complaining about her reflection’s lack of conversation and habit of borrowing her clothes again. yesterday we replaced the sliding mirrored door with a plain one and she demanded to know where we were taking her friend as she watched her backing out the door in the handyman’s arms.

Mr T let it slip that two of the patients are having an affair but has refused to reveal the culprits. so staff are placing bets and tailing those who act suspiciously. as they all act suspiciously not a lot of work is getting done. I’m betting on Gene but have yet to determine who his paramour could be. the biggest clue is in the chaplain’s book where he has written that Gene appears fascinated by Duc L’Orange 

and BabyJane appears to have a grievance against Miss S. we’re a little puzzled by this one. BabyJane claims to have been charged $50.00 for watching the nudity down the hall which she says is ok for the men but it didn’t interest her and she doesn’t think she should have had to pay. when questioned, BabyJane kept muttering about ‘that woman’ and Miss S is the only other female on that floor.

now if there’s nudity down the hall nursemyra wants to know about it. there’s always the chance that Bruno could be taking a quick shower and from what I’ve heard it would be worth shelling out $50.00 to assist him with his ablutions.

then there’s the patient who wheedled the doctor into believing her ‘painful’ right arm was broken but told the mobile X ray technician that it was a painful left ankle yet somehow the radiographer’s report came back with pictures of a spine (not hers). don’t look at me – orthopaedics are way out of my jurisdiction.

apart from the patient who has animated conversations with the silk flowers in the chapel there’s little else to report. most of my attention has been on the nudity down the hall and nursemyra is unable to rest until the depths of this mystery have been plumbed.

so don’t assume that life here is approaching the relative normality of the world at large. it’s still all about sex, blood, phlegm, vomit, sperm, urine and talking flowers at the gimcrack.

and the unsolved mystery of the nudity down the hall.