how to win an argument

Plooptionary has asked nursemyra to disclose her strategies for winning arguments. of course, as a medical professional I am always right therefore have no need to argue.

however, occasions do arise at the Gimcrack where nursemyra likes to provoke a passionate response so I do have a tip or two for persuading others to agree with your demands.

1.  argueing attire should hint at the delights awaiting those who bend to your wishes. a uniform that fastens up the front is ideal as a proven mathematical equation states that if you leave 4 out of 12 buttons undone your chances of success increase by 88%

2.  always wear a corset and fishnet stockings when issuing your orders presenting your case. obviously, we women are always in the right but our position is strengthened by appropriate attire

3. display the relevant instruments. nursemyra has a cache of these in her top drawer. sometimes it is necessary to leave the ball crusher, the speculum or the tongue forceps exposed on top of the desk but an experienced persuader never needs to actually utilise these tools

4. stockpile appropriate medication. ensure all drugs are adequately labelled. always remember the uppers red ones are for the winner  medical professional and the downers blue ones are for the vanquished patient.

5. the use of alcohol is permitted when emphasising a point. a good strategy is to let your patient think acquiesence will result in increased access to alcohol. when measured doses are mixed with the appropriate medication (see 3. above) your arguments will appear much stronger and more cohesive.

of course this procedure is mainly relevant to medical professionals but the female layperson is advised to introduce steps 1 and 2 whenever an argument needs bolstering.