sex toys for the old boys

gimcrack patients in general are not brimming over with sex appeal. this doesn’t stop some of them from trying to poke their prongs into any available orifice, often with disastrous consequences.

while conducting research into my ongoing phallomancy project I discovered a company that is just as concerned as nursemyra with promoting safe sexual practices for geriatric casanovas. to this end they have developed The Fleshlight

Interactive Life Forms is committed to safe sex and sexual responsibility. Some of the creations include the Fleshlight, Sex In A Can and Limpy. The patented Real Feel Super Skin® is the only product on the market today that so closely replicates the feel of the human orifice that it feels like intercourse. The Fleshlight is a portable, concealable, sturdy male masturbation device that our customers describe as “Awesome”, “Amazing” and “Ingenious”. Cleverly disguised as an ordinary flashlight, it is easy to store and transport without drawing attention. Fleshlights are available in a wide variety of colors, scents and orifices.

and it’s only $70.00 which is such good value when compared to the costs incurred by a broken hip or shattered pelvis.