it’s the last of the month so this is t-shirt friday as opposed to corset friday
unfortunately, as I’ve mentioned many times, I am hopeless with a camera and didn’t realise until I uploaded the photos that my hair was obscuring the word “Voice”
*sigh*
anyway, that was the top half. here’s the bottom half
Archie, the gloves are for you and Buff. hope you had a wonderful anniversary
I know, I know…. the gimcrack is all about sex toys lately. I promise I’ll get on to some serious stuff soon but when I saw Wanda’s glowing endorsement of the accommodator*** I had to share it with you.
When he came out of the closet in nothing but chaps and a penis strapped to his chin, I almost came. Tied to the bed, him ramming me, thrusting hard over and over…until I came. He unstrapped his chin, leaving the Accomodator inside me. The night of fun had just begun.
sorry, Wanda, if a man jumped out of my closet wearing chaps and a penis strapped to his chin….. well, words fail me….. though I do know of another nurse who’d probably jump at the chance of testing out the accommodator to see if your claims are true.
*** my friends at Extreme Restraints have a different picture of the accommodator
ever since I found this medical appliance while conducting one of my research projects, I’ve had the lyrics to “seven little girls sitting in the back seat” playing repeatedly in my head. not that I’m old enough to recall a song from 1959 - please remember that nursemyra’s job brings her into daily contact with the strangest of people including entertainers like Spud Maloney
Plugs into car lighter!
Hit the road for some real action–hot rod style! Cruise along with one hand on the wheel an the other on the auto suck.
here’s the words to “seven little girls” for those of you who’ve never had the pleasure of hearing Spud sing it. I guess this lonely driver was really pissed off that fred was getting all the action
Keep your mind on your driving,
Keep your hands on the wheel
Keep your snoopy eyes on the road ahead.
We’re having fun, sitting in the backseat,
Huggin and a kissin with Fred.
the symbol of medicine is the Rod of Asclepius, a single snake twined around a staff. many people mistakenly think it is the Caduceus which is a winged staff with two snakes. you can blame a Captain Reynolds for this, it was his idea for the United States Army to adopt it back in 1902. the blunder was discovered several years later but no matter…..
I bring this up because the Caduceus is linked to Tiresias who found two snakes copulating and attempted to separate them with his staff. Tiresias was immediately turned into a woman, and so remained until he was able to reverse the act seven years later. coincidentally, our resident transgendered patient Duc, has been living as a woman for seven years now and nursemyra is keeping a very close watch on her since a packet of Allen’s Jelly Snakes was discovered abandoned in the gimcrack’s driveway.
they were partially melted in the heat. I couldn’t say for sure there was any copulating going on but they were very difficult to separate.
our patients can be a cranky lot at times. because they’re long term, some of them get possessive about chairs in the lounge room, or want to watch a particular channel on the television, or even be in control of the cd player. the women squabble more about the chairs and the men tend to rule the roost with electrical appliances.
we also have a “Feedback Form” system where patients are encouraged to write out their complaints, anonymously if they prefer, and drop them into a locked box which nursemyra checks every day opens occasionally when she’s looking for bloggable material. this afternoon I found an anonymous complaint about a certain patient who hides the remote controls, then locks the tv onto a sports channel and plays country and western music on the cd player. I know who the culprit is, and have my suspicions about the complainer.
unfortunately for male patients at the gimcrack, ever since juniorfilly moved on to greener pastures and Mrs. B passed away, there haven’t been a lot of outlets for pent up testosterone which is why we’re seeing this metaphoric chest beating with a couple of six inch remotes.
have been thinking long and hard about the situation and have decided to get behind this campaign. it’s been around for a couple of years but I don’t think the gimcrackers have seen it yet so I’ll just download a few of their posters and let the pictures speak for themselves…..
like many other bloggers, when I’m a little low on inspiration I look at the isp addresses and search engine terms that brought unwary googlers to the gimcrack. which is how I found cancerhelp.org.cn
the early symptoms of colorectal cancer is the law and defecation character has changed. After the solution or will it intended imperfections, the feeling sluggish defecation. One has been the law of the stool, changes in bowel habits in the near future, such as diarrhea, constipation, diarrhea or alternating constipation, defecation impeded flu.
gosh I had no idea there were laws about defaming the character of a person’s stools. I hope no litigation happy chinese solicitors have been hanging around the gimcrack listening to the things I say about Harry.
then I got sucked in by “wives of smokers in vivo” and foolishly clicked a further link
The study found the husband of his wife’s smoking room where women above the level of carcinogens in vivo husband in another room smoking women.
I’m not sure just what this study uncovered but we’re pretty vigilant with our “no smoking” rule so hopefully there’ll be no court proceedings on that issue. I really could have stopped reading then but no, I had to see what foods we shouldn’t be serving in our dining room…..
Ate the most fermentation, corruption, metamorphic foods, such as sauerkraut and a great deal of nitrosamines type substances, moldy corn containing aflatoxin, Regular eating a lot of thick smoke because these foods containing chemical carcinogen benzo flowers, etc.; long-term partial eclipse, caused digestive enzyme secretion decline
oh dear, the gimcrack has been saving quite a bit of money by accepting moldy corn from our greengrocer, and benzo flowers too as they only cost half as much as cauliflowers. but further reading on another page revealed….
Philadelphia hospitals also extracted from the sweet potato an active substances — emasculation one that is effective against colon cancer
so if we replace the moldy corn with green corn tips and benzo flowers with sweet potato we can not only reduce cancer in our patients but also stop some of the sexual shenanigans they get up to when the nurses’ backs are turned.
and you can be sure from now on nursemyra will be more vigilant when it comes to that law of the stool…..
urinary tract infections are very common in the elderly. not many people know that UTIs cause delirium, and because so many of our patients are demented already, even we don’t always notice when they start exhibiting new crazy behaviours.
Brendan, who is normally a quiet patient, has taken to wandering the corridors in increasingly bizarre ensembles, knocking on doors and shouting expletives. Malenurse attempted to collect a sample of brendan’s urine but he was having none of it.
“I know what you’re trying to do” he said, as Bruno snapped on some gloves and approached him with a discreetly covered kidney dish. “there’s no way I’m gonna let you near my dick. no one’s gonna serpentsize me”
nursemyra understands brendan’s qualms. if he’s reached the grand old age of 89 with an intact foreskin, I’m all in favour of leaving him that way. traineenurse was dispatched to obtain the required sample, her winsome smile persuaded brendan that a little exhibitionism wouldn’t be such a bad thing and he obligingly urinated on command.
nursemyra and her team of sexy dedicated nurses wouldn’t mind handling a few serpentsized appendages in the name of medical science, but they’re few and far between at the gimcrack. we usually see the worm sized variety.
a “corset friday” photographer is also required but applicants will have to make their own way to sydney for an interview. resumes for both these positions can be posted via the comments link…..
corset friday rolls around so quickly but I didn’t wear a corset to work today. however I did don red stockings and red boots which were a big hit with the patients. they match the red streaks in my hair but you’ll have to link back here for a picture of those.
regular readers know that nursemyra excels at important things such as enemas and injections but is rather inept with a camera. so no pictures of the boot and stocking combo but here’s the rest of the outfit. it was undercover during working hours but I’m home for the evening now so it’s my “winding down and drinking shiraz” ensemble.
one of our patients smokes a pipe. like the cigarette addicted, he has to go outside to indulge his habit or he risks setting off the fire alarm. today he decided to chance it by hanging his head out the window and sneaking a puff, but he dropped the pipe and the jig was up.
puffing billy was firmly chastised by the DON for this breach of OH & S regulations but somehow I don’t think an oral scolding will be sufficient. I’ve been looking around for an appropriate retaliation response to someone who continually flouts the no smoking rule and this ad has given me an idea
if he’s disobedient again nursemyra could use the opportunity to practise piercing. I like to think I’m good with a needle, extracting blood or administering insulin is a breeze for a woman of my capabilities but I’d like to try something a little more difficult like installing a prince albert.
there’s an interesting variation on this run of the mill piercing. it can be dressed up with a Doorknocker Wand also affectionately known as a penis plug. I’ll be studying the instructions but knowing billy’s fear of needles, this could be just the incentive he needs to give up his pipe…..
nurses at the gimcrack see a lot of things that you hopefully never will. Mr S has had a little mishap while attempting to mount the exercise bike. I’m not sure exactly what he did but he’s now sporting a couple of bruised and swollen testicles.
gravity affects all parts of the body, and balls are no exception. personally I like the look of a dangling apple bag, though maybe not one that’s attached to an 88 year old (no offense daddyp). still, I don’t like to see any of our patients in unnecessary pain so I’ve been researching genital support garments and discovered the ball bra.
as you can see, this fetching garment allows a man to keep all his jewels in the harness or he can choose to give the sceptre a free reign so to speak. the ballbra people claim their product even enhances orgasm and I’m not in a position to confirm that but I do find it a lot more attractive than the “stretchy seat” offered by munsingwear.
munsingmen would never be seen wearing pert underwear which concerns itself with battling gravity on the other side of the body. personally I hope I never have the misfortune to see one of these on any of our patients. not even penfold could make this work for me.
there’s a women’s version from pert as well though there’s something about the placement of the straps that I find very offputting. here’s another way of using undergarments to lift a sagging derriere.
or you could opt for a brazilian butt lift where microinjections of fat are inserted into your buttocks
hmmmm…… nursemyra appears to have gotten a little off track tonight. ok people, back to testicle support. I have a question to pose to my male readers, though female gimcrackers who have a vested interest in a pair of balls can also chip in.
boxers, briefs or commando?
