the benefits of exercise

not all our staff are as questionably competent as the handyman or juniorfilly. sally, the physiotherapist, is so good at her job I wish I didn’t have to disguise my descriptions of the gimcrack so I could give her due credit. 

she’s tireless in her efforts to get creaky overweight patients to participate in stretching and balance classes, rounding them up like a herd of sheep and marshalling them into her corral. it’s a thankless task, with groans and complaints accompanying every movement she demonstrates. but if we didn’t force persuade them to participate, there’d be a lot more falling geriatrics with broken hips.

yesterday sally donned the latest fashion in open bottom hip protectors and modelled them to an admiring audience during morning tea. she slipped the black protectors over her beige stretch trousers and circled the room, stopping at every table so patients could see how unobtrusive and comfortable they were.

several of the male patients requested a hands on examination so there was a flurry of bottom patting that threatened to replicate the fate of Sebastian in Suddenly Last Summer. luckily nursemyra was there to intervene and extricate sally from the grasp of arthritic claws.

with impaired sight being one of the maladies of old age it seems that some of the male patients thought they were missing out on the opportunity to fondle a shaved tail.

strangely enough, attendance at sally’s class was at an all time record yesterday afternoon. though that could have been due to the new memo I put up on the noticeboard about the benefits of exercise.