I’ve mentioned before when long term patients die they often have no family to leave their belongings to. they are usually clients of the protective commission, a government body with no interest in sorting through an old lady’s undergarments (such as these shown below) so this job often falls to nursemyra.
in the past I’ve blogged about finding mormon underpants, spurs, leather trousers and waxen images in patient’s rooms. other things I’ve seen but not blogged about include vibrators, a magazine on men having sex with animals, gall stones in a jar, cremains, a collection of false teeth in a glass case and a pogo stick.
last week I uncovered a suitcase full of straps, stirrups and assorted hardware in the room of a recently deceased patient. of course it was immediately taken to the staff room removed for safety reasons and inspected by all and sundry senior staff. we even tried to assemble it, thinking if it was put together we could work out its purpose.
to be honest I think it may be some sort of horse paraphanalia from a much earlier era but with a bit of tinkering it would be possible to turn it into this
so in my continuing search for sex aids to assist geriatrics I went looking for some easy to follow instructions though did find myself momentarily waylaid by this ccyell minichair
(you need to click on the image for the full effect)
the thing about researching sex aids is you have to be sure that what you’re ordering is a quality product so I always read the endorsements
This device was SO much FUN to use. The deep penitration that was achived was superb. just tried the positions in your “For Beginer” page, About four useful positions but those four are great.
none of our patients are as limber as this granny and our budget can’t afford the $59.95 for the ccyell minichair so I’ve put aside some time next week for turning the contents of a certain spinster’s suitcase into a doggie style enhancement strap
It’s fun for the young and very functional for the elderly.
Kind of makes me wonder what the pogo stick was used for.
The doggie style enhancement strap is an engineering marvel - elegant in its simplicity and functionality. More fun? The first endorsement: “Really comfy sex toy! It’s great when we are both tried…” Kinda makes me want to be at that party!
How have a hundred thousand generations of human beings managed to reproduce without the aid of the doggie style enhancement strap? All I can see is possible chafe burns, death by boredom or hanging…
Please forward false teeth ASAP.
[I'm hiding under the table again - you know why]
Reminds me of some of the treasures I found as a boy when I rifled through my granddad’s dresser drawers.
I hope the deceased patient had not expired while using said straps.
I’m getting one of those ccyaell chairs. Sweeeet. Cheers!!
sorry I am just laughing so much…. the 96? the spin doctor & ‘Always exercise caution when sitting down on an occupied CCyell.’ marvelous hee hee
That doggie enhancer looks like hard work. If you get muscle cramps in your arms when you’re having an orgasm, does it feel like you’re having an orgasm in your arms as well? Being a nurse, you must know,
So, are we blaming the Swedes for killing Jesus now instead of the Jews? That will be a load off the Jewish community’s mind.
I just feel a bit faint. What ever happened to a nice cup of tea and a piece of cake.
best title ever…… for anything …….hehehehe
Those crazy seniors and their wild sex games… and… MEN HAVING SEX WITH ANIMALS… its probably best they werent left to some family isnt it.
Psssst, I found something that would look lovely in the lobby:
http://www.marriedtothesea.com/073107/friends-dead.gif
that is fucking fantastic!
I’m emailing it to the Diversional Therapist now
Healthy Body Healthy Mind…but in this case
[...] nursemyra won’t go there I mentioned a month or so ago that I once discovered, in a patient’s room, a magazine showing pictures of men having sex with animals. at the [...]
[...] wonder if we’ve solved the mystery of what that suitcase full of straps was [...]
Had a look at that site. Was really happy. Then they said they don’t take SA money. Drat. I wonder how difficult it would be build my own. Maybe I could phone that chap who has the handy man show on T.V. Yes I can see it, “Next week we will show you how to build a fucking stool”. God that would make a change to the usual lineup.
I take it you’re not talking about Tim the Tool Man?
Nah Tim would really fuck it up and the point is that is so supposed to come after, I think for a job like this we would have to use the Nuutsman (Pronounced Nietsmaan) He a capable fellow and can do a mean foxtrot.
oh… the poor fox…