top 9 list of marriage mistakes

bible based marriages have a list of the top 9 marriage mistakes.

  1. Refusing sex when requested is a sin: “The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” 1 Corinthians 7:3-4
  2. Creating a dependency link between the two roles of husbands loving their wives and of wives submitting to their husbands.
  3. Husbands failing to unconditionally love and honour their wives, even when they rebelliously refuse to submit.
  4. Wives failing to unconditionally submit to their husbands, even when they are treated badly.
  5. Limiting the extent of submission to “just the big stuff” instead of 100% of the smallest judgement areas. The wife may be the manager of the house, but the husband is the manager of the wife.
  6. Going to bed without resolving a problem. Harboring a grudge or anger from the previous day.
  7. Thinking that professional, certified marriage councilors or Ph D level psychiatrists will help at all.
  8. Thinking that a spouse may separate or divorce without sin.
  9. Wives who address their husbands above a “quiet, respectful, submissive, whisper“, at any time.

mswhip.jpg

#6 strikes me as sound advice. all of us have habits that tend to annoy our partners from time to time. I can think of better things to argue about than using too much toilet paper

sid-in-the-city.jpg

from the wonderful Sid in the City

but submission doesn’t come easy to some of us. sometimes a successful marriage needs a little pharmaceutical help

breakfast.jpgmidol1974.jpgtyrant-in-the-house.jpg

and sometimes there’s just no other way around it. a husband may have to resort to discipline to really show his wife who her manager is

coffee.jpg

I don’t think nursemyra will be contemplating marriage any time in the future. according to that list I’d be making several mistakes. plus I don’t know how to whisper……

Published in: on March 30, 2008 at 8:44 am  Comments (27)  

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  1. Just make sure you don’t store-test coffee so you can get the proper ass-paddling you so richly deserve…

    ;o)>

  2. #1 Sounds good to me. I want to be used for sex.

  3. There is an error in #2: I think the word they meant to use was codependency.

  4. I like number 6 too, nursemyra. And isn’t Sid in the City fab? I’m also a fan.

  5. “Mornidine – Now She Can Cook Breakfast Again

    * Warning side effects may mean that she can also resort to taking an axe to you in her sleep again… “

  6. the toilet paper pic has made my Sunday morning.
    Damn, that’s funny.
    Thank God he didn’t have a bowl of two of “Colon Blow”
    ~m

  7. #6 is right but yowsa—that Midol ad? Scary that it’s real

  8. Rule #10: That coffee better be fresh!

    And for the love of God don’t ever spill the coffee!

  9. Aside from Woeful, where are all the women who WANT to be used for sex?

  10. I need to go out and serve some stale coffee. The woman in that picture seems to be enjoying herself quite a bit. Of course, then I’ll have to find someone to spank me. That’s not the hubby’s cup of tea. Or coffee. At least he still uses me for sex!
    Don’t you think that “uses” needs to be reciprocal to be, um, Useful? In the long run, anyway.

  11. Interesting:

    I was born into a religion where male authority was a given, at least in public. Everybody was very happy with the arrangement and the sex must have been decent because everyone had a gaggle of kids. And I overheard from time to time the women talking. It turned them on defferring in public (they ran the show and everyone knew it).

    Not as interesting:

    It never occurred to me to spank another human being. I don’t mind being a little forceful, but once I get someone bent over, the last thing on my mind is spanking them.

  12. “quiet, respectful, submissive, whisper“ – yeah right ………..

    [never ever show this comment to the terrible Goddess - promise?]

  13. ‘the husband is the manager of the wife’ I guess that is why I won’t be trying holy matrimony again lol

  14. Abbadon, Ha how do you know Woeful is a gal?

  15. What’s pathetic/sad/mind-boggling/hilarious/awful (take your pick) is that so many people actually still believe in this horse manure.

  16. A good spanking has been known to put the spark back into a marriage. And it’s cheaper than counselling.

  17. This must be why all my christian friends are so happily married. Oh wait – they aren’t. Obviously a glitch somewhere.

  18. it’s probably #7

  19. *pfft*

    Like the Bible has anything useful to say to anyone about anything.

    I prefer to draw my guidelines on marital relations from the works of A. A. Milne.

    Of course, you have to read between the lines a bit, but it’s all there.

    Pooh gets plenty of hunny, and the hunny pot never seems to feel hard done by, so it’s all good.

    Here are some marital tips from Winnie the Pooh:

    * A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference.

    * Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are looking for before you begin looking for it.

    * Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.

    * Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake.

    * It’s so much more friendly with two.

    * Just because an animal is large, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want kindness; however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.

    * When having a smackerel of something with a friend, don’t eat so much that you get stuck in the doorway trying to get out.

    Such wisdom. Clearly words to live by.

    Cop that, Bible.

  20. so long since I read Winnie the Poo. I love the word “smackerel”

  21. This is a twisted version of that.

  22. #7 “smackerels” of scientology

  23. westernq: wow that’s a pretty sad story

    trixieb: that’s funny :-)

  24. My wife and I are very competitive when playing games with each other.
    We picked up the latest Smash Bros. Game for the Wii recently.

    I told her we would put in the game and I would beat her

    …then we would play the game!

    She didn’t think that was very funny.

  25. some wives are like that :-)

  26. if globus is the manager of his wife then he thinks he needs to recruit some newer staff!

    if only #1 were true but sadly, once marriage and children kick in, a sex life fades into distant memory.

  27. hi globus, welcome to the gimcrack :-)


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