reprieve for the candy striper

nursemyra is moving house tomorrow. unfortunately, my new apartment will not have an internet connection for two weeks so it’s highly unlikely I will be able to blog for some time. can I go cold turkey?

maybe yes maybe no. perhaps I’ll borrow a laptop from somewhere or get to an internet cafe if the withdrawal symptoms are too severe.

you know I’ll miss you all so don’t forget to leave a comment or two and press the “fuelmyblog” widget on the right hand side of the screen. I’ve taken extra photos to make up for not posting the usual Corset Friday. some of the angles are quite strange but I was trying to show an equal number of front and back views. #6 is a kneeling shot, the backs of these stockings are really pretty though I need longer arms to do them justice

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Published in: on April 3, 2008 at 8:06 am  Comments (73)  

feague off

nursemyra loves stumbling across unusual words. I’d not heard of feagueing before but it’s in Francis Grose’s Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, defined as:

 “to put ginger up a horse’s fundament, or a live eel, to make him lively and carry his tail well; it is said, a forfeit is incurred by any horse-dealer’s servant, who shall shew a horse without first feaguing him. Feague is used, figuratively, for encouraging or spiriting one up”.

fancy having a live eel up your fundament. what would you say to the emergency department doctor who had to remove it? “Buggar me, I slipped on an eel and look where it ended up”

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I wish I had a copy of this marvellous old dictionary, it’s got so many fabulous expressions. what is a fart catcher and what service does one perform?

A valet or footman so named from his walking behind his master or mistress.

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the gimcrack’s handyman could easily assume that title. the majority of our geriatrics fart as they walk, it’s a very musical hospital. they’re also likely to have a collection of fartleberries or “excrement hanging about the anus”

and if you’re looking for a new word with which to insult someone, how about “you flogging cully“. it means debilitated lecher, commonly an old one.

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that’s what I’d be calling anyone who turned up at my clinic looking for sympathy for their footman’s maund

An artificial sore made with unslaked lime, soap, and the rust of old iron, on the back of a beggar’s hand, as if hurt by the bite or kick of a horse.

let’s not forget the females. try wooing your sweetheart by called her fubsey. sounds affectionate and means healthy. A fubsey wench; a plump, healthy wench.

here are some of Leonard Nimoy’s fubsies from the Full Body Project. click on the link if you’d like to see them in all their naked glory

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and if you’d like a ginger feagueing, nursemyra’s clinic will be open from 9:00-10:00 Tuesdays and Fridays. please remove all fartleberries first.

Published in: on April 2, 2008 at 7:55 am  Comments (27)  

a new octave of sexual ecstasy

I know easter is over but the eggs we’re going to talk about today are not made of chocolate. behold the crystal onyx vaginal weightlifting egg:

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This Tool is for those who desire to create Olympian heights of Sexual Pleasure. Vaginal weight lifting training is a Must!

This weight lifting egg has an eye-hook and cotton cord that allows you to add additional weight to your egg to increase the POWER of your Vaginal Workout!

This Erotic Art creates a new octave of sexual ecstasy. We provide an Instruction booklet to get you started as well as an attractive black velvet pouch.

while researching this subject I discovered another kind of black velvet pouch altogether.

he heavily saturates his genitals with ink. He did what amounts to a saline injection but with tattoo ink, so a large part of his scrotum and testicles are now black as well

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there are also other types of vaginal exercisers as Mary Roach from Salon found out

The Feminine Personal Trainer, is a one-pound stainless steel weight that comes with a video and a Discreet Hard Shell Carrying Case.  I opened the Discreet Hard Shell Carrying Case to find a polished stainless-steel, knob-ended object and a slip of paper telling me not to be overwhelmed by the weight of the FPT. I wasn’t. I was overwhelmed by the size of the FPT. I think it is safe to say that this is the only workout on Earth that calls for vaginal lubricant. The directions ask you to insert and contract, causing the FPT to rise up inside you until all that can be seen protruding is a rounded piece of steel, as though you are giving birth to a hardware store.

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image found at ponyxpress

the egg is a often used as a metaphor in literature and film. Fans of In the Realm of the Senses and Bataille’s Story of the Eye already know this. whilst enjoyable to eat, the egg does not have any particular aphrodisiac qualities though some cultures may take a little persuading before they accept this

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for the last word on ovum today, here’s an image of Erotic Eggs (artist unknown)

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found here. and more erotic eggs here.

Published in: on April 1, 2008 at 8:22 am  Comments (25)  
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