a new octave of sexual ecstasy

I know easter is over but the eggs we’re going to talk about today are not made of chocolate. behold the crystal onyx vaginal weightlifting egg:

eggweightlift.jpg

This Tool is for those who desire to create Olympian heights of Sexual Pleasure. Vaginal weight lifting training is a Must!

This weight lifting egg has an eye-hook and cotton cord that allows you to add additional weight to your egg to increase the POWER of your Vaginal Workout!

This Erotic Art creates a new octave of sexual ecstasy. We provide an Instruction booklet to get you started as well as an attractive black velvet pouch.

while researching this subject I discovered another kind of black velvet pouch altogether.

he heavily saturates his genitals with ink. He did what amounts to a saline injection but with tattoo ink, so a large part of his scrotum and testicles are now black as well

blackvelvet-bag.jpg   

there are also other types of vaginal exercisers as Mary Roach from Salon found out

The Feminine Personal Trainer, is a one-pound stainless steel weight that comes with a video and a Discreet Hard Shell Carrying Case.  I opened the Discreet Hard Shell Carrying Case to find a polished stainless-steel, knob-ended object and a slip of paper telling me not to be overwhelmed by the weight of the FPT. I wasn’t. I was overwhelmed by the size of the FPT. I think it is safe to say that this is the only workout on Earth that calls for vaginal lubricant. The directions ask you to insert and contract, causing the FPT to rise up inside you until all that can be seen protruding is a rounded piece of steel, as though you are giving birth to a hardware store.

via-ponyxpress.jpg

image found at ponyxpress

the egg is a often used as a metaphor in literature and film. Fans of In the Realm of the Senses and Bataille’s Story of the Eye already know this. whilst enjoyable to eat, the egg does not have any particular aphrodisiac qualities though some cultures may take a little persuading before they accept this

my-man-doesnt-need-turtle-eggs.jpg

for the last word on ovum today, here’s an image of Erotic Eggs (artist unknown)

erotic-egg-by-unknown.jpg

found here. and more erotic eggs here.

Published in: on April 1, 2008 at 8:22 am  Comments (25)  

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25 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. This comment has been deleted by the World Blog Council [this is only going to egg me on you know]

  2. Wow, eggs-ercises! Hmm, no chance of an exercise video anytime soon? The tarts bouncing about in leotards at 5AM over here are boring as all get out …

  3. now there’s a weightlifting competition i’d like to see…

  4. I volunteer to spot any of you ladies that want to use those weights.

  5. uncle keith – do you have a good dental plan?

  6. This is very egg-citing news! :)

  7. I have Blue Cross low-option…so the answer is “no.”

  8. no comments about the black velvet testicles? maybe I should stop worrying about daddyp’s sensibilities and post the image on the front page…..

  9. That egg needs to get laid.

  10. I’m trying to forget that I saw the black velvet testicles. Very not eggcellent!

    And I remembered enough high school Spanish to know that the sexy cowgirl is telling us that her man does not need to eat the eggs of turtles. And I’m always willing to listen to a woman in a tied-off shirt and short shorts.

  11. do you think I should wear an outfit like that at the gimcrack?

  12. This all smacks of the ‘E’ word (exercise)… I do my kegals regularly (no pads for 70s)
    but ‘Olympian heights of Sexual Pleasure. Vaginal weight lifting training is a Must! ‘ Perhaps I need a re think to my daily routine???? :-)

  13. I’m sure all this ligting and contracting is great, but do you honestly expect me to believe there was not a single other (extremely) willing object around you couldn’t clench around?

  14. I exercise with ben wa balls. I have the Incredible Hulk for a vagina.

  15. Feeling fertile today?

  16. Nursemyra, you’d have to make the male residents of Gimcrack sign a waiver if you wore a tied-off shirt and short shorts to work. In fact, they should already make male residents sign a waiver just to be in your presence.

  17. Brings a whole new meaning to the ‘snatch’ part of weightlifting.

  18. I’m familiar with the term “spot” in weightlifting. what’s “snatch” mean in that context?

  19. Oh – this is weird – that turtle egg picture – several months ago, a woman involved in turtling or whatever it is you call turtle care, offered to send me a book to review, proceeds of which go to our shell backed friend’s welfare club. In “researching” the subject – and after making tasteless jokes about soup and Ninjas – I spotted that image in low res and made a mental note to pluck it from the cyberether and use it as a post over at my shack. Like many of my mental notes, it went AWOL – until now. Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou like the man said at the end of that Dr. Hook song.

  20. you’re welcome, welcome, welcome :-)

  21. Theres to types of weightlifting ‘clean and jerk’, where you go from the ground to the shoulders (the clean), and then to the raised position above the head (the jerk).

    And then theres ‘the snatch’, where it goes from the ground to above the head in one quick motion, then the lifter goes from the crouch to the standing position. Wait for the olympics, then if theres any weightlifting on and you hear the word snatch, you can be rest assured I’ll be giggling like a school girl.

  22. thanks Alex

  23. Nursie, I have a boo-boo. Nursie, kiss it better?

  24. I need more information…..

  25. […] Source […]


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