ointment for your weapon

the Rosicrucians had an unusual method of treating wounds. instead of applying a balm to the wounded area, they instead medicated and carefully bandaged the weapon which had caused the injury. these ointments nearly always contained moss from the skull of a dead man as well as other ingredients such as mummia, human blood and linseed oil.

“Lord Bacon was in some doubt about the weapon-ointment, but he rather inclined to believe in its cures because a distinguished lady had similarly relieved him of warts by rubbing them with a rind of pork which was then hung up, fat side to the sun, to waste away, carrying his warts into non-existence with it.”

another ancient remedy was recommended by the Sympathy Doctor who performed wonderful cures from a distance. when a man was injured attempting to cut down a tree, the cloth which had first been used to staunch the bleeding was taken to the Sympathy Doctor who made a hole in a vigorous oak tree, put the cloth in the hole and covered it with gristle which he hammered into the tree with heavy blows. this caused the wound to heal at an astonishing rate. it should be noted however that the tree used must be vigorous and must be oak.

nursemyra is willing to lend out BP for anyone wishing to replicate this experiment at home

here’s a novel use for the next oak tree a vigorous man chops down

 

Published in: on August 20, 2008 at 12:39 pm  Comments (15)  

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15 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. My boss gives me a headache. I’m pretty sure that hammering him into a hole in a tree will sort out the problem.

  2. It’s interesting what people used to/still do to relieve aches, pains and disease. It’s more interesting what works.

  3. That’s a lovely stool – I’d use it for serving canapés if the Queen ever visited …….

    “Olive, your Majesty?”

  4. That seat doesn’t look comfortable.

  5. Those pictures seem to be more about instruments of torture than healing. But we seem to do the same thing these days to cure some “diseases.” I won’t elaborate.

  6. I don’t think that whole “treating the weapon” thing works for gunshot wounds.

    And since no one else said it yet, I am a vigorous oak.

  7. LMAO!!

  8. is that a stool or the head of a massage table? kinda looks like a spot for the nose there… not that i’d be willing to do a face plant there…

  9. I don’t know if the seat is to scale but it looks like you couldn’t fit much more than a couple of cherries in there…

  10. Alas, I rather need to buy one of those stools. I suffer the scrotal equivalent of my mother’s tits. Perky and tight in youth, bigger and saggier as time passes.

  11. I’m rather partial to balls that sag down :-)

  12. That seat is proof. Real men hang to the right.

  13. really? I was always partial to those who dressed left

  14. insertion of highly
    polished vigorous oak
    healing from the
    inside

  15. ah yes… internal healing….


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