dr lust and precious prills

nursenyra has been researching water cures and the curiously named Dr Lust, who appears to be rather xenophobic, has this to say about hot baths

(typical bathroom at the gimcrack)

‘The Japs make cleanliness of body the first of all virtues. These brown brothers look in astonishment at any stranger that neglects to take at least one bath a day. Some people believe that hot baths predispose one to cold but it is not the case. This type of bath produces a temporary paralysis of surface circulation and prevents contraction of the capillaries. It is proved by the fact that the Japs run naked through the streets after bathing and suffer no ill effects. A custom of the Japs which seems repugnant to Occidentals is the promiscuous habit of communal bathing. Yet there is no suggestion of indecency which is attributed to the child-mindedness of these interesting people.

still on the subject of water, Precious Prill Beads are a strange and mystifying water additive touted by The Life Enthusiasts.

“Placing common water in contact with Precious Prills causes a remarkable thinning of that water. The resultant liquid is known in nature as “Dew”. Dew is about half the thickness of common water.

The water made when Precious Prills comes in contact with common water is a wonderful moisturizing liquid which has the power to reduce pain. Precious Prills were designed to make water wetter.

Put two gallons of Prill water into a bath and fill the rest with hot water for an exquisite soak and rejuvenation. When you drain the tub, the waste water goes into the water system to begin the process of transforming the water in your area. Prills produce a water that is de-clustered to virtually single molecules of water that have the hydrogen and oxygen atoms bound extremely close and it is superior to the “clustered water” that you may have worked with before.

One problem is chlorine in tap water is heavier than air, so the Prills only push chlorine to the top and it sits there until you blow or fan it off. The lid has to be off the jar all the time for the chlorine to escape. If you don’t have time to blow and fan your Prill Water, get a carbon filter for the chlorine.

Precious Prill treated water is very thin and remarkably heavy, which can be demonstrated with a hydrometer. It is at least as good as the water that it was made from, which we all know is perfectly safe because the city experts say it is.

 

Published in: on September 30, 2008 at 8:27 am  Comments (19)  

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19 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Jesus Christ on a Surfboard, that’s some trippy science…

  2. yeah, I’ve always wanted my water to be wetter

  3. Yikes! I could barely grasp Dr. Lust’s point through the thick forest of racial insults! The gimcrack baths remind me of The Road to Wellville by T.C. Boyle. Have you read it?

    I haven’t read that one but I loved Tortilla Curtain

  4. I was just wondering how to get my water wetter….and Nurse M to the rescue.

    Huh?

  5. i can’t express vividly enough the importance of being clean. if you stink, not only will i turn my face away from you, i will also remove myself from your company. and if i know you, if we are friends or family, i will say aloud, “you stink.” because when someone stinks, the love is gone. let me repeat. the love is gone. smelling like a sewer corpse does not turn me on.

  6. There’s something so wonderfully satisfying about the word xenophobic. A cool word for a very uncool thing. Kind of like the word “gingivitis”.

    Wetter water. I’m going to go think about that for a while. And then I’m going to try to say it five times fast. Because that’s all I have to amuse me.

  7. That’s just reminded me I did the Finnish ‘thang’ of rolling around in the snow after the heat of the sauna [actually in Finland] – it was quite nice in a strange way ………..

  8. where the fuck do you find this stuff? Seriously? Make your water even wetter!

    Wow.

  9. One way to make water wetter is to break the surface tension, as by use of a detergent.

    Re:xenophobic and gingivitis, I think my favorite word that sounds nice but is nasty is pneumoconiosis, or black lung.

  10. Water feels wetter when I am already sweaty/wet like too hot from a hike and I absolutely have to jump in the river. No molecular difference I imagine but if it’s cool enough it feels like it pours right through the skin. I’m really uncomfortable hearing people called “Japs” and yet I’m very happy to call people “Lapps.” When appropriate.

    LAPLAND

    I want to spend the night in Lapland
    though I’m not sure where it is
    let me spend all night in Lapland
    I got it wrong once on a quiz
    is it abutting Nova Scotia?
    are its people like the Swiss?
    please let me stay the night in Lapland
    its a place I can’t resist

    I want to snuggle down in Lapland
    its a land that comes com-pleats
    is Lapland at the junction…
    where Legville, Tumtown meets?
    it isn’t Ab-do-men-land
    we’d never call it that
    there’s only one true Lapland
    where I hope to hang my hat

    so if I get to stay in Lapland
    I won’t need a fancy bed
    the welcome’s all I’m after
    I’ll watch where I lay my head
    ah, drifting off in Lapland
    there’s a pleasure that I’ve missed
    I want to spend the night in Lapland
    it’s a place I can’t resist.

    where did you find that poem (or is it song lyrics) – did you write it yourself?

  11. Cheater five is the best God can do when the water’s wetter? What a jip…. (not a jap…mind you)

  12. If you read my Precious Encouragements while bathing in Precious Prills, does that make the Encouragements even more Preciouser?

  13. Preciouser? my grammar head is hurting….

  14. Just a little lullaby I wrote; intended for drifting off. Hope it’s not too risque for your site. Kidding!

    Ghengivitis Khan

  15. Wetter water… sounds interesting. I always bath in heavy water, maybe thats why I’m green.

  16. always knew that surfing was heavenly ;)

  17. that’s what they keep telling me….

  18. Don’t drop in on the lord, his wrath is everlasting!

  19. really? I thought he was all-forgiving


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