are you a breast man?

Francine Gottfried was a data processor on Wall Street back in the 60s. Her 43-25-37 inch figure had men in a frenzy during a bizarre two week period when up to 15,000 people waited outside the stock exchange to catch a glimpse of her taking a lunch break.

Different cultures find different aspects of the body sexually attractive. The Wogeo think breasts should be firm with the nipples facing outwards. Other cultures like long and pendulous breasts.

puffy-nipples

In many societies, elongated labia majora are considered erotically appealing. Young girls are advised to pull the clitoris and the vulvar lips to enhance their sex appeal. Before puberty, girls on Ponape undergo treatment designed to lengthen the labia minora and to enlarge their clitoris. Impotent old men pull, beat, and suck the labia to lengthen them. The girls put black ants in their vulva so that their stinging will cause the labia and clitoris to swell.

dirty_uncle1

Herter, in 1974, gave young men this advice about the following basic assets they should look for in a wife. She should:

1.   Be beautiful.

2.   Be younger than you.

3.   Be shorter than you.

4.   Be the same religion.

5.   Be the same race.

6.   Be willing to pretend to be equally intelligent or less intelligent than you.

7.   Be a virgin at the time you meet.

8.   Be willing to live with you for a year before marriage to see if things work out.

9.   Be willing to let you participate in the sports you like.

10.   Be tolerant of the work you do; be tolerant of your ambitions and abilities.

11.   Be willing to have as many sons as you want.

12.   Be sexually desirable.

13.   Be free from diabetes.

14.   Not be a regular drinker.

15.   Have not used marijuana, LSD, or similar drugs.

16.   Not have a family history of insanity.

17.   Have large breasts.

18.   Have consent of both parents.

19.   Be a good cook.

20.   Be a good sewer.

21.   Not be a complainer or arguer.

22.   Be clean and neat.

23.   Not be overweight.

24. Not snore

 

 

 royalchumps

 image found at electech.co.uk

 

Published in: on November 26, 2008 at 7:42 am  Comments (31)  

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31 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. “Impotent old men pull, beat, and suck the labia (of pre-pubescent)to lengthen them.”

    I’m just imagining the “grey power” ad-copy in the classifieds.

    ADG

  2. What Andrew said…

    Seriously, what were the chances of finding a desirable partner in 1974 who hadn’t contravened requirement #15?

  3. I’m only 14 of those… not sure I’d make Herter much of a wife… thank goodness.

  4. I would have qualified for number 15, it’s just the rest of them I would have flunked.

    Those puffy nipples remind me of a boyfriend who always used to tell me that more than a mouthful was a waste.

  5. the puffy nipple on her left looks inflamed. what say the boys?

  6. One wonders how he was hoping readers would pronounce number 20.

  7. As for the puffy nipple, it not only looks inflamed, it looks prolapsed. Maybe her “nipples” were her actual breasts, before they put in the implants.

    I’m with Ian on wondering why you’d want a wife who was a good conveyor of sewage. I mean, apart from the obvious.

  8. Can always rely on you guys for a chuckle :-)

  9. i think i work with someone who has read Herter… he was a knuckle dragging caveman who was (unfortunately) my supervisor for a year. it took every bit of restraint i could muster not to beat him with a wood block…

    love the zombie people.

    It’s the British Royal Family isn’t it?

  10. Bang goes your knighthood …… I mean damehood …..

  11. I am totally partial to puffy nipples, thanks for the fine specimen.

    You’re welcome Jahsonic

  12. Where’s the list for husbands?

  13. OH my, how awful the black ants thing!!! And that list is just terrible, it better stays far gone, in the past.

  14. I’m a butt man, myself.

  15. Personally, I think marrying a virgin is a recipe for disaster. I’d MUCH rather have someone who knows her way in the sheets.

    I reread the list and it seems the majority of these tips are horseshit, as well. It’s a man’s world!

  16. So, does that woman with the wonky nipples meet all of Herter’s qualifications?

  17. I’m surprised consent was as high a priority as it is. I mean, #17? Is it really more important than not snoring?

  18. Damn, I see #16 is where I’ve been going wrong!

  19. Really? not #10?

  20. Someone call the Dog Police on that family!

    What bothers me on that Herter list is that the wife should be shorter than the husband. That’s bull. I want me a damn amazon!

  21. well that puts me out of the picture. I’m only 5’5″

  22. 15/24. Not bad.

  23. Bugger if this was one of 70s quizzes I failed on 14/24… but I can cook and sew & I don’t have diabetes ;-)

  24. Wow, what a list– no wonder there’s so much divorce.

  25. ’20. Be a good sewer.’

    I hope that means good at sewing and not, erh…

  26. No history of insanity and big breasts.
    Yeah.
    That’s a dream girl alright.

  27. I understand there are tools and apparatus one can purchase to assist with the puffy nipples… so perhaps Jahsonic should at that to a Christmas wish list?

    I failed on 6 of those. Not telling which. It’s more fun if people guess.

  28. Is one of them number 24?
    :-)

  29. Herter comes off like a crashing bore! Are those nipples real!?!?! And black ants to swell certain parts of the anatomy are just not cool.

  30. That is a mighty fine pair of puffies; I’ve always wanted to suckle on a nice pair of puffies.

    As for the breastman question — I never really defined myself as a man who like any body part more than another; rather, I tend to appreciate the best qualities that each woman has — beautiful eyes, great curves, shapely legs, brilliant mind, sharp wit, an alluring mouth, a wonderfully tight hoo-ha, eye-popping cleavage, a working sewer …

  31. a working sewer? yeah, that’s pretty essential


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