t shirt friday january 2009

here is the first t shirt friday for 2009, appropriately enough – it’s a nurse. I’ve teamed it with a skirt I bought in rome in 2001. the zippered sides come in very handy now that both the skirt and nursemyra are 8 years older. Is anyone else doing t shirt Friday today?

nurse-t-shirt-0031 nurse-t-shirt-008 nurse-t-shirt-012

renalfailure is in!

and gnukid

and my favourite 70s chick

followed by tobymarx

lucky last…. sledpress

Published in: on January 30, 2009 at 9:23 am  Comments (40)  

how to make your own x-ray machine

nursemyra likes doing crosswords and playing mah jongg. relatively tame hobbies compared to Harry Simon’s  penchant for making his own X-ray machines. 

harrys-x-ray-machine

Fortunately for us, Harry has listed a couple of dos and don’ts for those who are tempted to try this experiment at home (don’t tell me you’re not interested, reverend tethercow.com)

Whenever the machine is in operation, the experimenter must wear a lead apron and stand well behind the orifice through which the rays are emitted. Never turn your back on the machine so that you are between it and the apron! It is also advisable to place a few exploratory samples of film around the room while the apparatus is in operation. When developed, these will show the pattern of radiation and protective lead shielding can be installed accordingly. Finally, resist the temptation to make X-ray examinations of the bones in your hands or other body parts. A frozen fish makes a much safer test object.

xraypicofblowjob

Published in: on January 27, 2009 at 7:29 am  Comments (33)  

the right stroke is essential

foot-pedals

A Victorian Passage is a delightfully instructional blog. Now that we have a kitchen in our recently remodelled dementia ward, the DT has been busy stocking it with appropriate tools. Because nothing keeps dotty old dames busy like whipping up something in the kitchen.

bilbrew181

artwork by Gene Bilbrew

In an extract from The Lady’s New Receipt Book we are told how to beat eggs. “Persons who do not know the right way, complain much of the fatigue of beating eggs, and therefore leave off too soon. There will be no fatigue, if they are beaten with the proper stroke, and with wooden rods. Move only your hand at the wrist, and let the stroke be quick, short, and horizontal.

spankmag

Then came a rush of patent egg-beaters, and a rush of purchasers as well, whose aching wrists and shoulders pleaded for relief from long hours of incessant ” beating,” ” whipping,” and ” frothing.”

from-saxon-web

There were wire spoons with wooden handles that broke off, and tin handles that turned the perspiring hand black; wire whirligigs that ran up and down upon a central shaft and spattered the eggs over the face and bust of the operator.

naughty-2

Then, our enterprising merchant overwhelmed us with a double compound back (and forward) action machine that was “warranted to whip up a stiff ‘ meringue in a minute and a half.'”

insinkerator

With it I make the formidable ” snow-custard ” in less than half an hour, with no after tremulousness of nerve or tendon.

spank_machine1

Published in: on January 26, 2009 at 8:47 am  Comments (24)  

too tight for corset friday

green-013 green-004

I made the mistake of “getting in the mood” too early for corset friday. the gimcrack is air conditioned so even though sydney is sweltering through a heatwave this week, I still thought I’d be cool enough while wearing a corset under a loose cotton top. Wrong.

green-006 small-green

couldn’t wait to get home and remove it – the boning was digging into me all day and I’m covered in marks and indentations. so now I’m sitting in front of a fan in a pale green babydoll with orange gingham trim with a long tall iced water. It’s too hot to even drink red wine. Remind me I said this when I’m complaining about the cold next winter…..

green-010 green-005

 

Published in: on January 23, 2009 at 10:16 am  Comments (38)  

a sausage or a dildo?

you guys think you know what a dildo is, right? so did I until I read Legal Habits and discovered it was also the name of the sausage shaped corkscrew curl that formed a tail at the end of a Bob wig. A Campaign wig sported two dildoes, one on each side.

miss-shuttlecock

In the 1950s, wigs and elaborate hairstyles were used to disguise hearing aids

paravoxsecret

as this fabulous booklet reveals, there were many methods of concealing such devices. this woman looks like she’s wired up for an FBI sting

wired

I recommend clicking the link, there is an entire catalogue of fascinating items such as tie clips, insignias, emblems, watches, fountain pens, barrettes, hats and scarves that were used to glamourise the world of hearing assistance.

james-bond-with-his-hairstylist

even you know who would have been impressed…..

Published in: on January 22, 2009 at 7:08 am  Comments (30)  

moderately stretch your akroposthion

The debate about circumcision still rages though the tide is turning and fewer baby boys are now being “snipped”. The following extract from an article by Fleiss and Hodges is one of the most informative I’ve read. I’d be interested to hear what gimcrack readers think of it

The foreskin is more than just skin; it is a complex, highly mobile, and beautifully engineered organ composed of an intricate web of blood vessels, muscle, and nerves. In fact, the foreskin contains about 240 feet of nerve fibers and tens of thousands of specialized erotogenic nerve endings of various types.

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The akroposthion is the name that the ancient Greeks gave to the tubular, tapered “neck” of the foreskin that extends beyond the glans.

circumcised

If the average adult foreskin were unfolded and laid flat and unstretched, it would be approximately the size of a 3 x 5 index card. Moderately stretched, it would entirely cover a man’s forehead or the back of his hand and fingers.

archiegift

just behind the lips of the foreskin is the ridged mucosa. the movement of the akroposthion during erection and sexual play cause the pleats of the ridged mucosa to expand and contract like the bellows of an accordion

penis-with-arms

I’ve never thought “accordion” and “penis” at the same time before…..


Published in: on January 21, 2009 at 6:52 am  Comments (46)  

get off on a good footing

feather-sandals

the phrase “being on a good footing with them” usually describes a pleasant relationship. according to some, it was derived from an early apprenticeship practice.  After the end of a first day at work an apprentice invited new colleagues out for drinks and “footed the bill” and thus gained a “good footing”

hendricks_tipple

 

a second derivation links the phrase with a bizarre interpretation of human anatomy – the importance given to the length of your digits.  At one time, the dimension of the middle toes determined a person’s “standing” in the community. thus the measurement of their foot decided their status in the eyes of others. Those with large feet were lucky to be on a “good footing”.

foot_type1

What your toes Know tells you more

LARGE, ROUND BIG TOE If you’re big toe is somewhat bulbous you’re bound to do something to wow the world

LONGER, NARROW BIG TOE You’re likely to gravitate toward more technical pursuits.  

toe-slimming-ring

SMALLER, SQUAT BIG TOE You have the tendency to be very focused and a little cautious. 

VERY STRAIGHT, WELL-GROUNDED BIG TOE Confidence is your key to success, sister, so stay on track by keeping that self-esteem in check. 

toes-from-gore-galore

toes from Gore Galore

CROOKED BIG TOE Could it be you’ve settled for less? Be true to you. 

A BIG TOE THAT POINTS UPWARD A real die-hard dreamer has a toe that doesn’t come in contact with the ground at all. 

A BIG TOE THAT POINTS DOWN You have untapped energy and talent.

westwood2

shoe by vivienne westwood

Podiatry is a popular profession at the gimcrack. we have several who visit our patients regularly because lord knows most old people have ghastly feet. I can think of more exciting jobs but I’d rather cut toenails than clean up vomit so it’s worth considering……

netsuke-podiatrist

Published in: on January 20, 2009 at 6:56 am  Comments (27)  

that’s so gay

candyman_thumbnail  

It was in Victorian times that the word “gay” was first associated with sex. Originally it referred to those who lived promiscuously or engaged in prostitution. In its specific homosexual meaning, gay was first publicly mentioned in London in 1889 in the so called Cleveland Street scandal. This concerned a brothel frequented by men in high office and serviced by Post Office boys.

dear_gay_head

Using “gay” to describe a homosexual didn’t really take off in Australia until relatively recent times. This caused considerable embarrassment on President Johnson’s visit to Sydney. Large banners suspended across the streets along which his motorcade was to proceed welcomed him with the words “Let’s go Gay with LBJ”

cock-house

“In preparation for the president and Lady Bird Johnson’s arrival at the Art Gallery of NSW,  a mini bush park was built and stocked with koalas, kangaroos, wallabies and a lonely echidna raided from Taronga Zoo.

Sylvia Hale said one of her abiding recollections was the Mormon choir booming out The Yellow Rose of Texas and The Battle Hymn of the Republic over and over again until a wharfie rushed to Woolworths, bought a pair of wire cutters and silenced the microphones.

we-like-a-gay-song

Hundreds of protestors rushed forward to halt the presidential cavalcade, police were grabbing demonstrators and dragging them out, the air was filled with chants and screams.

A red-faced Premier Askin could hardly believe that his triumphal event had been brought to a halt by what he called “the great unwashed” and that he was being publicly humiliated in front of the President of the USA. He wrote himself into the 20th-Century Australian history by shouting at the official driver: “Drive over the bastards.”

1947cabincar

Askin made a gift of twin albino wallabies to the startled president while a koala fell from a pole to its death after electrocuting itself.”

wallaby1

Published in: on January 19, 2009 at 6:52 am  Comments (36)  

my brain is operating on a different wavelength….

…. says the medical assistant who’s been using the Synchro-Energiser at the Universe of You in California. It consists of a set of headphones playing a combination of sounds and goggles that flash patterns of coloured light.

gogglestrepanationeye-massager

Another way of supposedly altering your brain for the better is to experience the Ganzfeld Effect

memory

“The Ganzfeld effect is a sort of mini-isolation chamber. The mind reacts better to a blank but steadily-lit field for sensory deprivation than it does to darkness. Many light and sound mind machines have a setting to produce the Ganzfield effect, and at least one, the Tranquilite, is just for the Ganzfield effect. You can get some of the effects of this, though, with the cheapest mind-altering technology: cut a ping-pong ball in half, paint both halves orange or light blue, and tape them over your eyes, then sit where you can look into a bright light.”

real-homer-simpson-by-pixeloo

Cerebrex.com also have information on Biocircuitry

“A biocircuit is made up of copper plates connected via copper wire to copper plated handles. You arrange them in specially designed “circuits” and then lie down on them, holding onto the handles, and it somehow “balances” your body’s electrical fields. Sounds silly to some of us, but there were some double-blind studies which suggest that they may be able to produce mind-altering effects. They are also available in silver and in silk”

If you’re into this sort of thing you might be interested in what USA Today had to say in this article about digital drugs…..

Some sites provide binaural beats that have innocuous effects. For example, some claim to help you develop extrasensory powers like telepathy and psychokinesis.

Other sites offer therapeutic binaural beats. They help you relax or meditate. Some allegedly help you overcome addiction or anxiety. Others purport to help you lose weight or eliminate gray hair.

However, most sites are more sinister. They sell audio files (“doses”) that supposedly mimic the effects of alcohol and marijuana.

drug-menance

It doesn’t end there. You’ll find doses that purportedly mimic the effects of LSD, crack, heroin and other hard drugs. There are also doses of a sexual nature. I even found ones that supposedly simulate heaven and hell.”

Published in: on January 18, 2009 at 8:33 am  Comments (24)  

delurk on white corset friday

Practically Joe has alerted me to National De-Lurkers Week. May I extend it to an Inter-National celebration? Contrary to popular belief my stats don’t necessarily skyrocket with more visitors on corset fridays. this post has had thousands of hits and nursemyra’s breasts are nowhere to be seen.

today’s corset is in two pieces. the top has the cutest little daisy straps which I didn’t manage to get into the photo and the lace on the suspender belt is really pretty. this is for UnbearableBanishment as he prefers the more innocent colours. any comments from the lurkers?

white-lace-002 white-lace-003 white-lace-007  white-lace-014

Published in: on January 16, 2009 at 8:43 am  Comments (35)  
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