cock cutting coconuts

Tu-Jin Sheng is a master of penis qigong.

“Tu exalts this practice as a penile panacea. He claims it can prevent old age and diseases, increase energy and vitality, make muscles and bones stronger, reduce arterial blockage, cholesterol levels, diabetes, allergies and ear problems.

weight lifting

With just a half-hour to an hour of practice a day, Master Tu promises quick results. After only one week, your hips will loosen. In two weeks, you will not feel thirsty as easily. After the first month, your vision will become clearer. By two months, your complexion will improve and the bags under your eyes will disappear, and by three months, you will require less sleep and feel powerful all of the time. Eventually, you won’t feel the need to go the bathroom as often and any plaguing maladies will vanish. And what about sex? Master Tu says “Of course! This is really great for sex!” One of his students fathered a new baby at age 82. Another student fathered a son 20 years after the birth of his daughter. Master’s Tu’s most incredible claim is that the highest masters of penis qigong can use it to pull cars, break ice blocks and even cut coconuts.

taipeitime

Master Tu has another extraordinary stunt in the works. He is in the process of getting clearance from the Taiwanese government to borrow a 747 jet airplane. Tu figures 20 to 24 of his top students, by strapping their penises, 6 to 8 men per wheel, can generate combined penis pulling power to move the 18,000-kilogram (39,780 lbs!) 747. That’s over a ton and a half per penis.

flyingpenis

“Combined penis pulling power”?

*swoon*…….

Published in: on June 29, 2009 at 8:16 am  Comments (38)  

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38 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Argaaaaahh…….thud!

  2. :O
    That feat would be termed as ‘ Mind blow job’.
    I wonder what material the students’ underwear are made of……

  3. I can see a painful end to this. The sound of something tearing and the howls of pain!!
    I would rather show the “pulling” power of my tool in other pleasurable ways :)

  4. Ah! I like alljoedirt’s vision of penis power..
    Next time I’m trying to smash a coconut I’ll be looking for one of those guys!

    Where do you get this stuff?

    • I was researching qigong…..

  5. I wouldn’t tie a rope to my penis and pull one of my 3-year old daughter’s pull toys, much less a 747.

  6. I’ll give it a go!!! ….. I haven’t got much to lose ….

  7. no fair. i can’t play…. where can i get a penis? i want the power…

    • You forget Daisyfae, you ladies already have the power.
      Us, men are merely pawns for your use.

  8. Pity th poor virgin bride whose husband approachs th wedding bed havin jus completd a extended car-pulling, ice-breaking, coconut-cutting demonstration.

    • Joey, you crack me up

    • Then th exercise session wif Mastr Tu have certainly payd off.

      • I bet I could split her sides.

      • Yeah. Jus tell her you took yer penis-training from Mastr Bates.

  9. I’m going to have to draw the line at pulling a rabbit out of a hat and even that is tricky.

    David Cockerfield

  10. Because finding a rock to break my coconuts is hard to come by.

  11. Been there, done it, still visiting the doctor, and still trying to find my missing left gonad.

    I’m starting to read your blog fae behind a cushion!

  12. Did anyone besides me see the episode of Mythbusters where the jet wash from a 747 blew over a school bus?

    I’m not sure I buy this invincible penis thing. That, plus I’m overly fond of gentle contact only to mine.

  13. I don’t know about pulling power, but my penis has the uncanny ability to get me into trouble.

  14. That last photo sure is an eyespore.

    • Mr Cerise… are you trying to induct me into the nefarious world of gaming?

      • Yea, I’ve got a whole LIST of games we can play together. I’ll even bring the joystick. You gotta place where I can plug it in, right?

  15. If my penis could open coconuts, I’d use it to open up everything. Cans, bottles, doors…

  16. i am simply speechless..no really..speechless.

  17. Fathering a baby at 82.

    Now there’s a selling point.

    • For some. Not for me ;-)

      • Yes, just a bit of sarcasm.

        I had my first child at 37 and my second at 39. With them both gone from the house now, I can’t ever imagine wanting more.

  18. I will NEVER EVER laugh at my friends who workout again.
    NEVER.

  19. That is one helluva a party piece ;-)

  20. I… nuh, I’ve got nothing… this is just a bad idea.

  21. I think I had a Sifu once who practiced this. Heaven knows he didn’t do anything else with his penis.

    • “Had” in the biblical sense?

      • I wish. No, he was very ascetic, but a good friend when I needed one.

  22. That last picture shows what is going to happen to all of their penises.

  23. Sure they can *pull* a 747 with their combined penises, but could they *push* one?

    I think not.

  24. Nurse dear i decided to answer your question here, where it will hopefully not be discovered by my readers, as i am too embarassed to respond on my blog

    The fact is, i haven’t done it yet….yes…as shocking as it sounds i am still a virgin…pathetic i know. But i only cant come when i’m with a guy…no matter how much he tries to stimulate me. But self-pleasure always works :)

    p/s : I picked this post as the title seemed so fitting :p

    • I sent you an email Saby, rather than reply to your comment here xx


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