a travelling chinaman called bruce

nursemyra is lucky enough to have had two mothers. One is alive and well and living on the beautiful Mornington Peninsula. My other mother passed away some years ago. She did, however, hand down some strange maternal advice that I’ve never forgotten. But before I share it with my readers first let me tell you about the “Bruce Effect

babies come in the mail

The Bruce effect is a form of pregnancy disruption in mammals in which exposure of a female to an unknown male results in pre or postimplantation failure.

FaithBCPills

Laboratory experiments show that when a recently inseminated female is exposed directly to an unfamiliar, nonsire male or to its urine or soiled bedding, this causes her to prevent implantation or to abort or reabsorb her embryos.

opiumstudents heidelburg 1900

This response supposedly is adaptive for the male, in that termination of pregnancy results in the female coming into estrus, providing the male with a mating opportunity.

jayne mansfield

(Jayne Mansfield succumbs to temptation)

The advice my mother passed on was this: “Never marry a travelling salesman, a Chinaman or anyone called Bruce”

1940salesman

The rationale behind this strange piece of maternal ‘wisdom’ being her sister’s cheating husband, Bruce, was a travelling salesman who kept a mistress in every other town. The entire Chinese nation got a bad rap because of the greengrocer down the road who let his cat sleep on the fruit in the front window of his shop.

cat_fruit_hat

This could also have been the reason I wasn’t allowed to put a Bruce Lee poster on my wall when I was teenage Enter the Dragon fan………….

brucelee3


Published in: on June 30, 2009 at 8:12 am  Comments (37)  

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  1. The mind boggles at exactly what the guy in the corner was up to with his squashy organ thingy in his hands. I allowed myself a wee shudder at the thought of being so close to another man in his bed.

    • they’re smoking opium

  2. That is definitely “the cat in the hat.” And I’m more worried about the spear the guy in the bed has.

    • that cat’s pretty cute isn’t he?

  3. Damn, I’m not sure where to go with this one..

    Wondering if one man’s urine can really help abort the rival’s spawn.. Wouldn’t that solve all our problems? No more abortion clinics just urine stores! A factory of men, being forcefed skunky beer and then required to pee x amount of urine during their work shift! Think of the marketing opportunities…

    • hey delicateflower…. do you know how to leave a link back to your site when you comment? you’ll get more visits if you leave a link…..

  4. “Baby in a Mailbag” was a favorite game from the early 1900′s… but sometimes the game ended badly at the post-marking equipment…

  5. You can never marry Bruce Willis !

  6. Bruces are not a good choice, even if they can do a 35 metre flying drop-kick. Men who have a name beginning with a vowel are so much better – - -

  7. Th Bruce Effeckt forms th basis o what is now known as th Joey Defense: “That kid o hers is some OTHR fuckrs unabsorbd embryo! When I was wif her, I didnt piss myself or soil th beddin evn once!”

  8. So you shouldn’t marry Fundamental Jelly either since you posted his pic?

  9. I guess that I should be happy that I am married, I am not chinese (no offense) and that my name is not Bruce. Oh, yes, I am a “salesman” but luckily I don’t travel :)

    • hey joe, you forgot your link again ;-)

      • I have made sure that I am logged in at WordPress, but still no joy. Anybody that can help a confused gent?

      • I don’t know why your url is not coming up if you’re logged in. Maybe you should check the WordPress forum, see if anyone else has encountered the same problem. you can always leave a question/plea for help but make sure you type the name of your blog in so the support guys can see it – they tend to get a bit cranky when people don’t do that.

        Good luck

  10. I would enthusiastically patronize a fruiterer who let his cat sleep on the goods. Cat hair washes off but the blessing remains.

  11. Wow, a Chinese traveling salesman named Bruce would really be out of luck. I’m actually fond of pussy with my fruit.

  12. Hmm, I thought it automatically left a link? I”m on WordPress too? I’d love to have some of “your” people come visit me.. trying again and just in case: http://delicacies.wordpress.com

    • I think (though I’m not sure) that you and joedirt are leaving comments without being signed in to wordpress.

      If you make sure you’re always logged in before you visit other blogs your link should show up automatically.

      If you look at some of the other comments here (by sledpress, bearman, joey etc), you’ll see that if you hover your mouse over their name you can click straight through to their blog. That’s what you want to happen with yours ;-)

      • You need to list your website address on your wordpress profile as your blog. I managed to figure it out.

      • Hooray!!!

  13. That’s too bad you couldn’t put up the Bruce Lee poster. He was THE MAN! He kicked Chuck Norris’ butt!

  14. Brilliant set of piccies Nursey ……

  15. The Bruce Effect must account for all of the problems with paternity on the Jerry Springer Show.

  16. Two moms? How did that happen?

    Bruce Lee was the baddest man to walk the planet. Even badder than Tag Larkin.

    • I was adopted when I was 2 weeks old. Tracked my lovely birth mother down just before my 30th birthday

  17. Bruce Lee was totally hot.

  18. i’m learning something everyday here…some unbelievable info i might add.

  19. Great post Nursemyra. Your mother sounds like an intersting woman.

  20. I have never heard of the Bruce Effect. That’s an interesting concept. How could that be proven? Get a woman to have sex with a lot of men without protection, then use dna to determine if the last one was the one who impregnated her?

    • I think it really only works for animals Claire

  21. reabsorb her embryos? chee. and i thought taking words back was difficult.

  22. ok Nurse Myra and alldirtjoe.. I’m signed on, coming from my WordPress dashboard and blog is my website and listed.. I show up on other wordpress blogs when I comment.. trying this one more time, bear with me.. then off to forums.

    • did you list your website address as your blog on your wordpress profile?

  23. The greengrocer allowing the cat to sleep on the fruit in the front window reminds me of a story my mother told me.

    Her parents used to go for jaunts with their motorbike and sidecar all over the Scottish countryside. One day, they stopped in at a little shop, a sort of general store. The lady had a plate of buns on the counter for sale and the shop cat was busy licking the buns.

    Grandfather said “Should the cat be doing that??”

    The lady said “Oooo, they’ll nooo do her any harrrmmm.”

    Needless to say, buns were not purchased at the shop.

    • that’s a great story :-)

  24. …and my advice is to not marry anyone named Doug…


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