t shirt friday 31.7.2009

queenie 003 queenie 005 queenie 015

70s, azahar and sledpress are playing along

and renalfailure, silverstar, gnukid, mudpuddle and healingmagichands

anonymousyou are hot hot hot

as is the Queen of Stanmore

Published in: on July 31, 2009 at 9:31 am  Comments (36)  

torn from the deep waters of Mediocrity

A B Saliger filed a patent for an Automatic Mind Control Suggestion Machine back in 1927. It was marketed as the Psycho Phone, a wonder-working talisman that would bring you the things you wanted.

psycho phone

It’s rather disappointing to find it’s not a machine that puts one in touch with those who have “passed over”. Nor is it a hotline to Norman Bates.

norman_bates norman_as_mother

Psycho Minimates found here

As a mind control machine, the Psycho Phone had its drawbacks. Karl Hans Welz has something much better – the Chi Generator

“put it into your pocket, set your LPOG 2400 DL at the desired pulse speed, and go to a business meeting, on a date, to the gym, to a sports competition, or anywhere else. Nobody will notice your invisible helper! There is certainly no need for you to have those cumbersome and ridiculous goggles, earphones, or other contraptions, on your head ever again!

This fabulous machine can assist you to find love (just add leopard skin fabric and a photo of your intended)

chi findnewlove

or order the Aqua Optimiser to supercharge your drinking water

“Ask us for a FREE demo: We charge your water at a distance!”

get_money

In Nature parasitic fungi manipulate the behaviour of their hosts in order to increase their own chances of reproducing.

cordyceps-unilateralis

image found here

If you click the link above you can watch a video of a grasshopper committing suicide so the worm inside its body can live. Now that’s effective mind control…..

Published in: on July 30, 2009 at 9:42 am  Comments (34)  

grand master revivified

Angelo Soliman (1721 – 1796) is historically recognized as the “First Moorish Freemason.” Born in the Congo, at age seven he was kidnapped and sold into slavery. In Europe, he was the slave (child toy) of a prominent Sicilian lady. Later, at age 16,  he was sold to a royal  family in Vienna, Austria. There, he so impressed his masters with his remarkable intelligence, they chose to educate him.

grow-a-toy-boy

He spoke six languages as well as being able to write three of them fluently. He was also a master swordsman, war hero,  chess specialist,  navigation expert, concert composer, and a tutor to royalty.

master of the mind

In 1781, he was initiated into the prestgious True Harmony Masonic Lodge,  whose members included many of Vienna’s social elite including Mozart and Haydn.

(It was none other than Grand Master Soliman who, manifesting on the earthly plane and in corporeal form, spiritually ordained Sotemohk***, to the sacred Moorish Episcopate and prompted his induction as Grand Master of the Revivified Sacred Order of Chaerona.)

After he died in 1796, his skin was flayed from his body and mounted on a frame. He was dressed with a feather belt around his loins and a feather crown on his head, his arms and legs were decorated with glass pearl beads and a necklace of yellow-white porcelain snails (Cyprinid Monet) hung low down on his chest.

soliman

Together with the stuffed bodies of a young black girl who had been a present from the King of Naples and an African male nurse, he was exhibited for ten years as part of the Viennese Emperor’s “Imperial and Royal Art, Nature and Animal Cabinet”.

taxidermy fox

***In 2002, Sotemohk announced that the 19th century nun, Margaret Cusak, was to be canonised. Known to her contemporaries as the Mad Nun of Kenmare, she also just  happened to be his great great great aunt.

nun01

Published in: on July 29, 2009 at 8:27 am  Comments (24)  

man is but a soap bubble

ruysch

(preserved infant from Ruysch’s collection)

Dr Frederik Ruysch conducted public anatomy theatres in 17th century Holland. During the warmer months, these theatres were turned into cabinets of rarities. Six human skeletons, taken from executed criminals, stood on the visitor’s galleries, holding placards saying such things as Memento Mori or Homo Bulla.

pinhole camera wayne belger

“pinhole camera” by Wayne Martin Belger

In Holland one of the earliest locations for the Amsterdam anatomy theatre was housed in St. Margaret’s Church, directly opposite the ‘New or Little Meat Hall‘. William Heckscher quotes a poem taken from an engraving of the church which reads

sarah illenberger sarah illenberger meat

images by Sarah Illenberger

The two meat halls which you see here are well equipped with beautiful “meat“, beautiful inside and out, and so much of it that one hardly knows where it all goes. Come on, little ladies, if you feel like investing your money; buy as much as your heart desires – from this kind of “flesh” your spouses won’t grow horns...

operator

In the image below the skeleton in the right foreground girdles its hips with injected sheep intestines, its right hand grasping a spear made of the hardened vas deferens of an adult man. On the left behind a handsome vase made of the inflated tunica albuginae of the testis is an elegant little skeleton with a feather on its head and a stone coughed up from the lungs hanging in its hand (Antonie Luyendijk-Elshout)

ruysch1

Published in: on July 27, 2009 at 8:25 am  Comments (23)  

narrow yet roomy

Secret Codes of the Jade Room was a Taoist sex manual supposedly written not long after the birth of Christ

harigata

“It is possible to judge a woman’s sexual features by scrutinising her face. A woman with a small mouth and short fingers has a shallow porte feminine and she is easy to please. You can be sure that a woman must have big and thick labia if she has a big mouth and thick lips. If she has deep-set eyes, her porte feminine is bound to be deep too… if a woman has a pair of big, sparkling eyes, her porte feminine is narrow at its entrance, and yet roomy in the inner part… A woman with two dimples is tight and narrow down below…”

cello nude

Nicholas Venette, in his book The Mysteries of Love Reveald (1703) described amorous women in this way

bust cream

“The breasts of such a woman are usually small but at the same time conveniently plump and hard. There is a profusion of hair about her privies and her voice is shrill and loud. She is of florid complexion and more inclined to be lean than fat. She is sometimes given to excess in wine. Let me add that the libidinous woman smells not so rank when she perspires as other women do”

Paul_Avril_-_Les_Sonnetts_Luxurieux by Avril 2

Anyone you know fit these descriptions? nursemyra is lean with sparkling eyes and no dimples. unless you count the ones on my bum…….

Published in: on July 25, 2009 at 7:42 am  Comments (33)  

corset friday 24.7.2009

28 police 5 police 27 police

21 police 7 police 12 police

Published in: on July 24, 2009 at 10:32 am  Comments (33)  

tease it higher

AnimalShapedHair

Hairdressers in ancient Rome had a difficult job. Many high class women demanded raven-black hair or manes of golden locks. Neither was that easy to achieve. Hair dyes were made from walnuts, cuttlefish ink and gall. Rich matrons might wear caps of fine gold mesh, poor women used animal bladders instead.

hog_bladder

order your hog bladders here

“In those days, hair treatments required ingredients like decomposed leeches, urine and pigeon droppings.

A more highly sought after position was that of a flabifeller.

“Open to males or females, it involved carrying a fan for the mistress, flapping it on command. During the hot days of August, slaves might be in for some marathon fanning; most of the time, however, flabellifers were there for show, and knew it.

feathers

Musically inclined slaves nabbed the coveted fistulator positions, available only to those whose owners were public speakers. Fistulators carried a reed pitchpipe. To start, the fistulator gave a subtle toot or two so that the great man could proceed to orate at just the correct pitch. Gracchus, famed orator in republican times, was said to have been the first to flaunt a fistulator.

flaunt 1

Dita and Scarlett appear in Flaunt Magazine

Published in: on July 23, 2009 at 9:36 am  Comments (31)  

presidential gossip

Before she married Ronald Reagan, Nancy Davis was rumoured to “give the best head in Hollywood”.

This is according to Peter Lawford’s widow’s tell-all book

“Hoisting a glass of wine midway through the boozy fete, the Widow Lawford announced plans to write a memoir about her late husband. “It’s going to be a schmucky book,” she vowed, shortly before taking a catnap–right at the table. And after reading the tome (which, among other things, chronicled her valiant struggle to wean Peter from the Acujack, an electronic ejaculation aid), few readers would disagree.

But Nancy wasn’t the only Reagan wife said to indulge her sexual desires with someone other than Ronnie. When Jane Wyman dated Greg Bautzer she supposedly made a sex tape with him. And this tape along with others was stolen from the house Sharon Tate was murdered in, according to Hal Lipset

jane wyman & greg bautzer

Greg, what did Jane do to your neck?????

“Hal Lipset, the renowned private investigator, informed me a few years ago that the Los Angeles Police Department seized pornographic films and videotapes found in Polanski’s loft and, additionally, certain LAPD officers were selling the tapes.

sharontate13

Lipset gave me a litany of those private porn flicks. There was Greg Bautzer, an attorney for Howard Hughes, with Jane Wyman. There was Sharon Tate with Dean Martin. There was Sharon with Steve McQueen. There was Cass Elliot in an orgy with Yul Brynner, Peter Sellers, and Warren Beatty. This trio, along with John Phillips, had offered a $25,000 reward for the capture of the killers.

yul brynner by george platt lynes

image of Yul Brynner by George Platt Lynes found here

Published in: on July 22, 2009 at 12:14 pm  Comments (43)  

breast milk 101

Saint Bernard prayed to Mary, asking her to prove she was a mother. She obliged by squirting milk in his eye

BernhardClairvaux_Lactatio_SourceUnknown

She also took pity on the souls in Purgatory and with help from Her Baby, she showered them too

Virgen purgatorio 200

There are other uses for breast milk. The artists at Dezeen have solidified its casein content into a form of plastic and created jewellery and ornaments.

milk ornament milk jewellery

Christians have long been believed in the power of relics salvaged from various parts of dead saints including Mary. Her breast milk was supposedly collected in vials. Then again, Jesus’s foreskin and baby teeth are also allegedly owned by various churches, as are numerous pieces of the cross he was crucified upon.

In 390 C.E., two monks found not just one, but two heads of John the Baptist. Many relic manufacturers concentrated on Virgin Mary memorabilia. They produced her hair, her bones, her girdle, her grave-clothes, and her virginal milk. One church claimed to own Mary Magdalene’s forehead and even one of her breasts. A church in France that supposedly owned one of Mary’s arms was visited by a bone collector who actually tried to chew off one of Mary’s fingers in order to add it to his collection! Even Monty Python couldn’t have written better material than this.

saintorlan

read about Saint Orlan here

But milk is not the only excretion from the human body which is made into jewellery.

In Japan, human waste is specially treated with high temperatures to turn sludge into a rock-hard material. This is used as gravel for making roads and jewelry is made from it. I am not sure if there are any beads of this stuff, but cufflinks are available.

And of course there’s always Art. Manzoni and Wim Delvoye have both produced art from shit, with Delvoye’s Cloaca Machines being exhibited all over the world and Manzoni’s Artist’s Shit selling for 124,000 euros per can.

manzoni372

Published in: on July 20, 2009 at 12:11 pm  Comments (31)  

Noble advice

Back in 1911, Noble Eberhart used high frequency currents to cure many ailments

Amenorrhea. That the high frequency current when applied through the vagina sometimes has an emmenagogue effect has been noted by several authors. As the current determines an increased amount of blood to the area treated, its employment in absence of the menses would appear reasonable. The technique is the use of the insulated vaginal tube for seven minutes, three to six times a week, and in connection with, the application of a spark to the lower part of the spine for from three to six minutes. Another method is to use the bi-polar Tesla treatment two or three times a week.

BiPolarAnimation1

Arteriosclerosis and High Blood Pressure. This is the regime recommended by two German specialists: “Two cigars daily, separately. Coffee, three-fourths milk, or dekafa. Chocolate. No tea. No Turkish baths. Swimming all right. Horse-back riding; slow horse. Slow golf. Automobiling all right. No stairs; no strain; no hurry.

slow horse

Asthma. The treatment of asthma may be by vacuum tube applications so that a powerful effleuve or fine sparks will fall upon the chest.
The vacuum tube should be used with as sharp a spark as the patient will permit and is conveniently applied through the underclothing. Mechanical vibration is especially useful in connection with high frequency. A cure should not be expected.

starr33

Brain Fag. “Brain Fag” has come to represent a condition just one step removed from complete nervous prostration. It is common in business men. The favorite prescription has been a complete change of scene, such as a sea voyage. This treatment is not always possible, and much may be accomplished by the use of high frequency currents, ozone, and mechanical vibration.

brainfag

Fissure (Anal). So many reports of successful results in anal fissure have been made that there seems to be no doubt of its efficacy. It has always been my opinion that as much benefit was derived from the stretching of the parts as from the healing effect of the current.

Gray Hair. I discovered, accidentally, the action which these currents have in restoring the natural color to gray hair. The chief drawback to the treatment is that it may have to be kept up for months and months.

Seminal Emissions. For nocturnal emissions sparks to the lower part of the spine are advised, followed by a seven-minute treatment of the seminal vesicles by means of the rectal tube.

Do Not Worry

Readers who’ve been with me a while know I used this illustration a couple of years ago but I couldn’t resist raiding my own archives for this post


Published in: on July 18, 2009 at 7:51 am  Comments (32)  
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