torn from the deep waters of Mediocrity

A B Saliger filed a patent for an Automatic Mind Control Suggestion Machine back in 1927. It was marketed as the Psycho Phone, a wonder-working talisman that would bring you the things you wanted.

psycho phone

It’s rather disappointing to find it’s not a machine that puts one in touch with those who have “passed over”. Nor is it a hotline to Norman Bates.

norman_bates norman_as_mother

Psycho Minimates found here

As a mind control machine, the Psycho Phone had its drawbacks. Karl Hans Welz has something much better – the Chi Generator

“put it into your pocket, set your LPOG 2400 DL at the desired pulse speed, and go to a business meeting, on a date, to the gym, to a sports competition, or anywhere else. Nobody will notice your invisible helper! There is certainly no need for you to have those cumbersome and ridiculous goggles, earphones, or other contraptions, on your head ever again!

This fabulous machine can assist you to find love (just add leopard skin fabric and a photo of your intended)

chi findnewlove

or order the Aqua Optimiser to supercharge your drinking water

“Ask us for a FREE demo: We charge your water at a distance!”

get_money

In Nature parasitic fungi manipulate the behaviour of their hosts in order to increase their own chances of reproducing.

cordyceps-unilateralis

image found here

If you click the link above you can watch a video of a grasshopper committing suicide so the worm inside its body can live. Now that’s effective mind control…..

Published in: on July 30, 2009 at 9:42 am  Comments (34)  

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34 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Women seem to have this power naturally. They tend to make me do stupid things.

  2. “fess up bearman. what have they made you do lately?

    • Buy a cat.
      Clean it’s litter.
      Watch it tear up my carpet without me going postal…

      that is just in the last 6 months.

  3. “In Nature parasitic fungi manipulate the behaviour of their hosts in order to increase their own chances of reproducing

    oh. blame the parasitic fungi. it’s ALWAYS the parasitic fungi that makes me do those things in the bar… yes. that’s it…

    • No daisyfae – it’s your irresistibilty xx

  4. oh my GOD! I read the entire post you linked to. It’s one of the most horrifying things I’ve ever seen. Can you imagine if this happened to humans!?

    If you need me I’ll be hiding under my bed…

  5. Hey, there’s an insect in the blog and I am responding…

    No, actually it is because the subject line reminded me of the excellent Red Meat cartoons.

    Thanks Nurse.

    • I had to google Red Meat cartoons – hahaha… they’re hilarious

  6. I fear I have been infected by something – There is this thing that sticks out of me each morning – - -

  7. I refuse to use anything less than $100 bills…two-ply.

  8. You must have a very different internet to the rest of us, because all I can find on my comp is a complete load of crap.

    I’m hooked… more more more..

  9. That video was incredible! You just gave me a great idea for a movie. It has probably been done already though.

    I don’t know about the aqua optimizer, but I know I’m addicted to Pelligrino. I love that water!

  10. I love the smell of orgone in the early-to-mid afternoon. It makes my Chi crackle.

    Mind control is on its way out. Transmigration and walk-ins are what all the young turks are into these days. ;}

    • Thanks John M. and thanks for the link on your blog too

  11. I hope my parasite likes beer, porn, no-sleep, and masturbation…cause he’s getting a steady diet of it lately.

  12. My worm likes to stay nestled deep inside me.

  13. The TG has been exercising mind control for a long time …. in fact she’s dictating this comment although she doesn’t realise it. Her powers are amazing ….. and are rather scary …..

  14. this post is SCARY!

    • You can talk Tom ;-)

  15. Tomorrow, Friday, your blog will be officially spoofed over at my place. That’s right…your time has come!

  16. Got anything in a leopard skin, my good nurse? You wouldn’t need any mind control devices or parasites on me then.

    • I’ll look for a leopard print corset in Singapore RF. Just for you…

  17. I never thought I’d say this but
    ewwwww
    Oh and…
    Well done.

  18. Incredibly odd.

    But as always, a very good read.

  19. Wouldn’t this mind-control gadget make your life at the Gimcrack a bit easier? You know, enforcing the no-groping rule and such-like.

  20. Psycho Phone, Qu’est-ce que c’est?
    fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better
    phone phone phone phone phone phone right away

  21. Never have I been less likely to click a link.

    • Is that a challenge Pil?
      ;-)

  22. absolutely fascinating ….watched all the videos… I am however, a bit disturbed by the lego figures though…

  23. I knew there was something about parasites I didn’t like. Cool stuff.

  24. Hey there Nurse Myra,hmm, I am guessing Combantrin won’t be helping that poor soul. Now Norman Bates would have stuffed the hopper and mounted him on the wall. Imagine how much more scary Psycho would be with the bird sounds being replaced with crickets. Never friggin camp again :)


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