free swelling

Some Gimcrackers are occasionally non-compliant with medications so we ensure patients are taking what the doctors prescribe by watching them swallow whatever we’re handing out. I was going to say you probably wouldn’t believe where patients try to hide pills but if you’ve been reading the gimcrack long enough that’s probably not the case.

watch clara

Maybe if we made the meds more appealing we wouldn’t encounter such resistance. How about gold pills that make your shit sparkle?

It’s a pill dipped in gold and filled with 24-karat gold leaf. You’re supposed to eat it “to increase your self-worth.” How much is it? It costs $425. Effects? It will make your poop sparkle!

gold_pills

Alex Chiu’s Gorgeouspil TM pending certainly sounds promising.

This pill was named ‘Gorgeous Pill’ because it turns a user prettier every time the pill was taken. The user will gradually look PERFECT, even more gorgeous than super models. You will one day reach PHYSICAL PERFECTION!!

If your face has a very good chi flow, your eyes should look pretty. But if your face has weak chi flow, your eyes will look ugly. (If your face has weak chi flow, the shape of your face will also be strange and ugly.) Weak chi flow is caused by injuries or deformities that you inherited from your parents. That’s why you need to take Gorgeouspil because it frees up the entire body’s chi flow by healing up all the injuries and deformities that you are born with. Yes, even deformities inherited from your parents can be healed up with Gorgeouspil!!! That means even if your parents are ugly, you can become pretty by taking Gorgeouspil.

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images found here

If you already have a gorgeous face and sparkley gold poo, perhaps it’s your body that’s less than perfect. Who has time to source healthy food and take up exercise these days? The people at Plasmetic recommend diet pills

a. This pill is made from a cellulose compound of hydro gel.

b. This is a dry powdery material that swells up when wet.

c. A gram of hydrogel inside a capsule can quickly bloat up like a balloon containing almost one liter of water.

d. When this is consumed, it takes on the size of a tennis ball inside the stomach.

free swelling

Published in: on October 25, 2009 at 6:15 am  Comments (24)  
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24 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Wow. The shit people think of…

    • It’s enough to really poo one off isn’t it?

  2. As the French say, some think they piss champagne.

  3. Do they do a sweetcorn pill? I’ve had hours of fun already with my poo, just trying to identify the many fun farm animals I can create every morning.

    This morning I created a Christmas tree, fully decorated with tiny yellow baubles.

  4. TMI Jimmy

  5. Folks do the same thing with silver…they’re only slightly less gorgeous, depending on metal market prices of course.

  6. The gold pill idea will definitely work. I know that when I’m drinking Goldschlager, I never quit drinking until I get to the golden flakes!

    I’d be scared to death of the Plasmetic diet pill. When I was a little kid I was terrified that if I swallowed a watermelon seed, one would grow in my stomach and kill me. Some asshole relative told me it would!

  7. Why was I not aware of the gold pills when I was potty training my kids? Man, those would have gotten RESULTS!

    • Now that’s a niche market…..

  8. i think if you just gave ‘em pills that made them higher than a kite, eventually there’d be no problem getting them to eat them…

    my son once photographed poo that had come out shaped as a cube. he made a brief attempt to show me the picture, but i managed to slap him (and the camera) before it got within visual range!

    • daisyfae, I initially misread your comment and thought you were telling us how to get teenagers to eat their own shit……..

  9. And how are you suppose to get said golden pill back once you do your dalily evacuation afterwars?

    Maybe with this, the outhouse will come back into vogue, perhaps as a miniature version where you dig a small one foot deep hole, cover it with a cushy seat and thus do your thing and fertilize the yard at the same time.

  10. If th Gimcrackrs are hidin their hydro-gel pills, I hope they know to stick em in a DRY place.

    • My old ladies are dry as bones Joey ;-)

  11. I don’t know about pills making people pretty but I do know people look a lot better after five or six rum and Cokes.

  12. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. :) He!He!He!

  13. The gold pill is a much better option than the mason jars in the back yard.
    Of course, I know a few people I’d like to slip the “pretty pill”, I quit drinking and wow…what was I thinking.

  14. Ahh, memories, Malach is Med Licensed in the State of MA. I struggle with clients over meds I do.

    But I do enjoy giving insulin shots!

  15. I’d take the guy in the yellow shirt and necktie. Nerdy types like that have usually spent endless nights imagining things they’d do if a woman actually took em up on it. Trust me. (ahhhhhh….)

  16. I can see socialite Paris Hilton taking the gold pills.

  17. Wouldn’t it be easier to have a Fugly pill to put in your friends coffees?
    * Not that I would ever do that,oh no.

    • I hope not ubermouth!

  18. Are there any pills to make silly pill purchasers smarter?

    Book Review #4 – Drood


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