the anti-vagina complex

In the Western Highlands of New Guinea many men believe that female sexuality is potent and dangerous. They think that prolonged contact with women can make their bones dissolve, and lead to debilitation and even death.

“As one might expect, the terror of women’s contamination focuses on the vagina. Vaginal discharges are so poisonous they can be used by witches to kill a man overnight, simply by depositing them near his clothing. Everything from the vagina is polluted, even nonsexual things like babies. Until a baby is purified, its father will not touch it, only poke it playfully with a small stick.

Any object that passes over or near the vagina can no longer be used safely by a man. If a woman’s genitals are physically higher than a man’s head, serious health risks may ensue. For instance if a woman steps over a sleeping man, he will sicken and his body will rot unless he is treated with an exorcism. Women therefore are not allowed to climb above men in trees or on ladders.

The woman’s vulva must never be above a man’s nose, lest her genitalia menaces him with lethal radiation. Some men will place spearmint leaves up their nostrils to avoid inhaling vaginal exhalations.

A woman who entices her husband into excessive sexual relations (more than a few times a year) is said to be purposefully driving him to an early death. “Coitus is contaminating, it can cause the stomach to distend and lose its taut masculine quality.”

Published in: on November 30, 2009 at 7:28 am  Comments (42)  
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42 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. ‘They think that prolonged contact with women can make their bones dissolve, and lead to debilitation and even death.’

    I think I’ve met those women…

    • We must hang in the same circles.

      • Haha! I was going to say the same thing…

        In fact, I think I work with one of them.

      • bschooled I definitely work with one of them lol

  2. The Female Sexuality link told me that viewing was restricted – for my own well-being presumably.

    • well that’s weird. It works for me. Have you got “safe search” off?

  3. I wonder if they still feel that way when they’re horny. And if they’re only engaging in intercourse a couple times a year, they have to be horny.

    I know that if I were a women and my asshole husband pissed me off, I’d be adding a very special ingredient to the spaghetti sauce.

  4. “female sexuality is potent and dangerous”

    A life lived without a dash of potency and danger here and there is a sad life.

  5. Oooh i really do feel sorry for those New Guinea women….i’m guessing cunnilingus is totally out of the question!

    • Any New Guinean woman with an ounce of sense would be a lesbian

  6. No wonder New Guinea is such an unhappy place!

    The King

    • The German heiress I used to work for lived in New Guinea for a while when she was married to Caroline Law’s first husband who ran a coffee plantation there. He was kidnapped by natives wielding machetes not long after they divorced…

  7. “…poke it playfully with a small stick.

    that’s pretty much all i want to do with them… the most reasonable item on the entire list.

  8. I’ve had some devastating heartbreaks. The worst one ever cost me a year of life. Female sexuality is probably the most potent and dangerous compound known to man. It should be contained and regulated by a government agency. Don’t you think?

    • I could say the same about male sexuality

    • I have devised an optimisitc treatment of heartbreak fallout: you have to choose really top quality heartbreakers, and before dating someone, consider whether or not they are worth being dumped by.

    • I would prefer the state have nothing at all to do with my sex life, thankyou very much!

  9. You’d think with beliefs like that they’d have died out by now.

    Of course…intercourse only a few times a year is a lot like being married. :-/

  10. “If a woman’s genitals are physically higher than a man’s head, serious health risks may ensue…”

    Is this when standing side by side?

    I knew I was a born risk-taker, I just had not previously been able to pin down a description of my wild stylin’ ways.

    Don Under

  11. I would be the first person to acknowledge the power women wield over men, but this is carrying things a bit too far.

  12. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Thomas W.P. Slatin, Thomas W.P. Slatin. Thomas W.P. Slatin said: the anti-vagina complex: In the Western Highlands of New Guinea many men believe that female sexuality is pote.. http://tinyurl.com/yhawzc2 [...]

  13. Seems to me they are working toward extinction.

    • you’re back! I missed you Beansie

  14. I’d like a dose of radiation please.

  15. having excessive sex could cause a man to die? I’m sure somewhere out there in blogworld some woman is reading that and getting ready to offer up more sex.

    Fascinating article!

  16. I’m doomed! My bones are rotting.

  17. “Some men will place spearmint leaves up their nostrils to avoid inhaling vaginal exhalations.”

    Well, to be fair, some girls you can smell from across the room. And it makes you think that it must be low tide.

  18. ya know? i always leave this blog thinking the same thing: “is this for real?” i learn so much here!

  19. I have this complex whenever visiting the OBGYN.

  20. ur wild and crazy and I love u! And like ur beautiful ya know, and ur intelligent and sexually aware, and from what it seems a nurse. I cant believe this is free blog! Ur like genius and all these guys and gals want ur body!!,(they just don’t say it all the time) can I have ur mind??? ?

    • Take a number.

      • take a number?? Not after I participate in t shirt Friday and petition a start for underwear Wednesday, of which then, I particiape in.

  21. “If a woman’s genitals are physically higher than a man’s head, serious health risks may ensue. For instance if a woman steps over a sleeping man, he will sicken and his body will rot unless he is treated with an exorcism. Women therefore are not allowed to climb above men in trees or on ladders.”

    Yeah, well I’m as you’d say ‘vertically challenged” and go around all day with my nose stuck up in the air. Hasnt done me no harm, and i like the aroma. Not sure about the radiation though.

  22. The French had it settled, what with their Little Deaths.

    I for one enjoy reading these blog posts for the diverse reactions thereto. The educational value is of course profound.

  23. Great way to die, sexed to death

  24. “If a woman’s genitals are physically higher than a man’s head, serious health risks may ensue.”

    Well midgets are pretty much screwed then!

  25. “Some men will place spearmint leaves up their nostrils to avoid inhaling vaginal exhalations.

    that presumes you breath through your nostrils. me? i prefer breathing through my ears. works out for both of us.

  26. well. they are right about one thing.
    female sexuality is potent and dangerous.
    live with it.

  27. I take it cunnilingus is out of favor in these parts. shame.

  28. My father used to poke me with a stick, though he said it was because I was “an evil little bastard that should never have been born,” not because he felt I was in any way contaminated.


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