fumbling towards ecstasy

Brothel keeper Sarah Prendergast was best remembered for an amusing scandal involving the Earl of Harrington  in 1778.

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“Known as a person of the most exceptional immorality, the Earl was nicknamed “Lord Fumble” because of his sexual preferences. At one stage he had a harem in his mansion which comprised a Negress in a feathered turban, a young girl in pseudo-classical dress, another dressed as a country wench as well as a mandolin player.

Buttered Beauty

On the evening in question he rejected the three resident whores Sarah offered him, so she sent out for a couple of “fresh country tits” from another establishment, Mrs Butler’s.

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The doddery old Earl indulged in manual dalliance to his satisfaction but only gave the girls three guineas each which was rather less than they expected. When they returned to Mrs Butler’s she demanded her share of the money, taking the girl’s clothes off them when they refused to pay up. Police were called and both Mrs Butler and her husband were arrested.

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The Earl was furious as details of his thrice weekly visits to Sarah’s seraglio where he partook of two whores at a time were leaked to the press. The sensible Mrs Prendergast  bought up all copies of the papers and paid the whores £5 to drop all charges.

To cheer everyone up she held a grand ball at which the finest women in all Europe would appear “puris naturalibus”. Lord Fumble, in an expression of gratitude, started the ball rolling with a subscription of £50 towards the cost. The ball was a great success. Aristocratic ladies flocked to join professional beauties and danced nude for hours while an orchestra played facing the wall so as not to embarrass them.

Mrs Prendergast made a profit of £1000. Lord Fumble died a few weeks later.

Published in: on August 17, 2010 at 8:18 am  Comments (39)  
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39 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I can’t think of a better way to cheer everyone up

    • Wine and chocolate for everybody….?

  2. Fortunately I have my own pair of fresh country tits! No need for home delivery from Mrs Butler’s.

    • Yes you do Mitzi!

  3. Lord Fumble’s subscription must truly go down as one of the great acts of philantrophy.

    As for a getting in fresh pair of country tits, I think the not wife would cut off my suburban genitals!

    • Ah yes it takes a very special wife to share her Lord

  4. Seems Lord Fumble was quite the fetishist. Is he wearing a seal on his head in that artists rendering?

    • Capped with a feather duster no less

  5. The Earl sounds like a charming bugger

    It is sad that we’ve become soo tight-arsed that the -idea of a nude-party would be frowned upon. I wonder how many people would actually turn up if i decided to throw one….

    • I like to leave a little bit to the imagination

  6. That album got me through many, many, many heartaches. Wore out a copy or two in the mid ’90s.

    • oh UB, you’re such a soft hearted man. Not that that’s a bad thing by any means.

  7. “Lord Fumble” because of his sexual preferences”

    I would think that name would come from sexual incompetence.

    • Maybe he was always dropping his balls

  8. Can you imagine the story if one of our ‘royalty’ held a nude ball!!!

    • Didn’t Fergie and Prince Andrew appear on a televised game show once? That’s worse.

  9. Poor Lord Fumble crumbled and tumbled
    I hope he wore a smile
    The cause was the line of beauties parading
    It went on for over a mile.

    • All the way to the Nile.

  10. Sounds like a brilliant idea for a party.

    • Sounds like you should hook up with Sabrina (above)

  11. Ye gods! Not a mandolin player? The ignominy!

    • I know. Tragic isn’t it. Only thing worse would be a recorder.

  12. So she threw a naked lady party and made the orchestra look away…were there men there? Why is the earl wearing a small, gasket-blowing whale on his head? How does lasertits get shit done without hurting herself? Does she heal like Wolverine, or is she a robot? Why is that lady wearing a paper hat with her strap-on? Is this a new look? Why didn’t anyone tell me?

    I am so confused.

    • Yes, paper hats and strap ons are the latest thing. You should wear that outfit to the upcoming wedding Rassles

  13. I’m quite clumsy and have been known to fumble on occasion.

    • Are you a Sagittarian Archie?

  14. Fumble as a sexual preference? Did he like carrying women under his arm, only to then drop them?

    Also, the kerchief around LazerTits neck and the cowboy hat really complement her tit-lazering. Just because you have lazers shooting from your tits doesn’t mean you don’t have to accessorize properly.

  15. My they knew how to party in the 70s …. ;)

  16. If I were dancing around nude, the orchestra would automatically turn to face the wall – believe you me.

  17. I seriously hope that when I die, somewhere it is written that I was “Known as a person of the most exceptional immorality.”

  18. A paper hat is essential with a strap on – it’s protection from the lasertits

  19. I suspect this is one ball I would have liked immensely.

  20. i don’t know how much three guineas is in “real” money but it’s clear 3) the girls were underpaid, 2) the earl was a cheap guinea-pincher and 1) being a madam is as much diplomacy as it is statesmanship.

  21. Five constables. Four truncheons. “Arrest that lady with the paper hat and charge her with truncheon larceny!”

  22. I see Brazilians weren’t yet the rage in the old world.

  23. I am always fumbling towards ecstasy.

  24. I’ve tried having a harem in my mansion, but between hareming assignments, the mandolin player was stealing my valuables. All my rookie baseball cards … gone! And she wasn’t even that good.

  25. I couldn’t handle all nude. Some nice lingerie, like the Playboy Mansion would be nice. But total nudity would creep me out.

  26. The name lord fumble does not seem to match properly with his antics. And these are grade a antics.


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