twelve

Most women would say they prefer quality to quantity when it comes to the number of times their partners are willing or able to have sex in a 24 hour period. But to some men numbers mean everything….

“A former Duke d’Orleans prided himself of having engaged in amorous combat twelve times in a single night with Mlle Deschamps. After that famous night, in honour of his exploit, he had the number 12 imprinted on the buttons of his breeches, coats and hats; he had his shirts marked with the figure 12. He wanted to have everything in dozens: twelve guns, twelve swords, twelve settings for his table, twelve dishes on his menu. Each day his treasurer delivered to him twelve hundred francs for pocket money, and when he bestowed a little tip or a present it was twelve francs or twelve louis.”

Others feel that two or three ‘benevolencies’ on a single night are sufficient demonstration of potency.

“Once is enough for a sick man to do;

Sound men can easily raise it to two.

Hotblooded gallants will go up to three;

Monks can reach five, when they’re off on a spree.

Six times or seven; no gentlemen’s job;

That’s fit for rustics, or some furloughed gob.

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Excerpt from The Philosophy of the Bed by Mary Eden & Richard Carrington

Published in: on September 28, 2010 at 8:11 am  Comments (49)  
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  1. Lol. 12 times,
    how can anyone manage that.
    The dude’s right to be proud. lol

    • I’m not sure I believe him…..

  2. No one has mentioned a baker.

    • 13 would be too many

  3. No longer gets it up
    sob sob

  4. Ah yes, those were the days, 12 seconds [including smoking the cigar]

  5. What a freak. Even if you could… why would you want to? That’s just ridiculous. When I was younger I played blackjack in bed. 2 in the night and one in the morning!

    • Is blackjack code for something Scott?

  6. TWELVE! I notice nobody asked Mlle Deschamps how she felt about it. . . sore, I’ll bet. I’m pretty sure that was before the days of KY jelly.

    • But not before the days of hog’s grease :-(

  7. What about three times on a lunch hour? That’s gotta count for something!

    • What a stallion!

    • Are you bragging? How long a lunch hour?

      I don’t count how many times a guy can get it up, I count how many times I go up. . . I may be selfish, but ….

  8. What is the polite amount of time to nap between sessions?

    • Eight hours?

  9. ahh…the days of youth when your partner was open to a 2am wake up rendevous. Now it’s “leave me alone, I have to get up for work”

  10. Looks like I need to purchase the hotblooded gallant workout DVD.

    • And also find a girl with those yellow capri pants and heels.

  11. Yegods, I wonder if he had a fluffer instead of a valet!

  12. Mental note: come back as a French duchess.

  13. Now, let me do the math: 12 times 15 seconds is….OK, I can just about manage three minutes. A year.

  14. Now I’m going to look askance at the guys in the gym wearing team jerseys with what seem to be random numbers on them…

    • especially that guy in #37

  15. rustics and furloughed gobs…

    • My favourite line too

  16. And here I was thinking twice a week was perfectly sufficient….

  17. All I can say is “poor Mlle Deschamps”.

  18. Into her quim did he delve
    And soon he made it to twelve
    But now so much poon
    Won’t make her swoon
    So the thing, alas, did he shelve

    • I knew you’d have a comeback limerick Ian!

      • Just dusting off my rhyming dictionary. That was a hard one!

        (that’s what she said, anyway.)

  19. What if you’re interested, not in the number of occasions, but in the total amount of time spent.

    With the amount of time my GF and I routinely invest in a session, twelve times would take more than twenty four hours.

  20. I couldn’t think of enough housework to occupy my mind during all that thrusting. I’d be quite bored. Literally.

  21. Not sure, I think I could do 5.

  22. My personal best was 23 in 24 hours, but I must admit I was much younger and hornier back then. My gf at the time was very very sore, and I was very very tired.

    Ahhh youth..

  23. What about a shy florist? How many times for him?

    • You have someone in mind VaGB?

  24. Personally, I have always liked a man who licks my ears…and can lick his own too!

    • Lick his OWN ears? Or are you talking about other body parts?

  25. *sigh*…..

  26. I’d have to say that I’d be pretty proud of the feat myself. Bragging would be in order. :)

  27. Sylvia embroidered 0.75 on my pants.

    I wonder why to this day.

  28. Quality is much less tiring.

  29. twelve pieces of chocolate cake!

  30. I know we shouldn’t take this too seriously, but…
    Did he mean he had an erection twelve times; or achieved penetration twelve times; or he had twelve orgasms; or she had twelve of the same? The only real test is quality. Is sex satisfying enough for the lady for her to want to do it again, and again, and again, and… It only counts if Mlle Deschamps wanted to see him again the next night.

    • I took it to mean 12 orgasms for him. I imagine the quality of what he was offering would have dropped off after 5 or 6…..

  31. I haven’t even had sex twelve times this YEAR.


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