she goes off with a bang

From a medical journal found here

SIR,-While I was reading the history of a newly admitted patient on the final ward round before Christmas a loud crack, like a pistol shot, rang out from the other end of the ward disturbing the proceedings. We found no commotion and no weapon, not even a prematurely pulled Christmas cracker.

Instead, there was a timid woman of 40, Mrs. A, who called out apologetically that it was her and her capsules. She told us that her general practitioner had prescribed Duogastrone (a special preparation of carbenoxolone sodium), which according to her doctor would dissolve beyond the stomach and heal her duodenal ulcer. She then explained in detail that since taking her capsules a loud shot would occur in her bowels from three to seven hours after swallowing them. She and her husband had many sleepless nights awaiting the “shot” at 2 a.m. after the evening meal at 7 p.m.

pill art found here

Two weeks before Christmas the television repair man had called in the afternoon to adjust the set while Mrs. A sat watching on the settee. Just as he was tuning the set she ” exploded.” The man dropped his tools and pulled the wires from the socket but could not find any electrical fault. He then turned to Mrs. A and suggested that the metal springs of the settee had broken.

image found here

Mrs. A, too shy to explain her abdominal secret, let him examine the settee. The medical and nursing staff and last but not least the patient herself can vouch for the truth of this story, which was not the result of surrender to Christmas spirits. It is felt that this new and somewhat dramatic Duogastrone side-effect should be known to others. We shall indeed be interested to hear if other patients have experienced intra-abdominal shots after taking Duogastrone.

We are, etc.,

C. C. EVANS.

J. B. RIDYARD.

The Royal Southern Hospital,

Liverpool 8

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44 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Hmmmmmmm. I am skeptical…. Guess who gets the #1 Google search result for “Duogastrone side-effect”

    • Evans and Ridyard may be having a lend of us, but it’s an authentic medical journal isn’t it?

      • Don’t get me wrong – I’d love it to be a real side-effect. You know me. It’s just that it’s not mentioned anywhere else…

  2. I think the noise is secondary. The significant danger here is for people who like to use anal love balls…….and the possibility of letting off something akin to an 18th century naval broadside.

    • you’ve gone off on quite a tangent there Affer

      • Firing on a tangent seldom works. A broadside requires the very best perpendicular hit.

  3. Completely forgot story once I saw picture of mistletoe. MUST hang mistletoe in the castle this year (maybe even all year).

    • Oh no… will I have to kiss Kym?

      • And Kimm!

  4. Bloody hell! I hope that the gunshot was not accompanied by a smelly projectile!

    • the entire ward was hoping that too

  5. I heard a pace maker ticking many years ago; and I’m told that these days an alarm goes off when the battery needs replacing. Brings to mind Captain Hook.

    • My mother had a pacemaker but I never heard it ticking :-(

  6. I’m horrifically torn between some joke about butthole bombs and colonic canister shot. Suddenly “You may fire when ready, Gridley” takes on a whole, new, and HIGHLY disturbing meaning – as does “You may fire at will”, especially for poor Will! ;)

    • I had to google that. Now i know all about the Battle of Manila Bay – thanks!

      • As a rabid Trekkie and avid military historian, the phrase “Fire at will” always brought out a giggle during battle scenes on Star Trek: The Next Generation. I always wanted Picard to yell that out, only to have Worf blast Riker with a hand phaser. :D
        Yes, I know I am a severely diseased individual. Thanks for noticing!

  7. Harbouring a delayed explosive – not a great thing to carry around inside you these days (or any time…) – especially near security checkpoints!

    • Excellent observation Elisabeth

  8. i’m totally blaming the Duogastrone should i ever have an unintended release… not that i actually pass gas or anything…

    • No of course not

  9. I googled it…quite a few entries;the interesting point, I though,t is that it’s derived from licquorice. Isn’t that what many people eat when constipated?
    And yes, could be a worry near a security checkpoint!

    By the way, who says that mistletoe is miss-hung?

    • I’d probably like it, next to chocolate, licorice is my favourite sweet

  10. If the stuff comes from licorice, then there is a commonly available “deglycyrrhizinated licorice” that is used by some ulcer patients; I assisted a trainer at my gym in finding information on the stuff after he was hospitalized with a bleeding ulcer from living on Ibuprofen, which was his solution for heavy training after being nearly killed in a car crash.

    So far as I know, the OTC substance never caused him to go off like a maroon, but he did feel better. Another victory for natural medicine, I suspect.

    • How does one get one’s mouth around a word like “deglycyrrhizinated”?

      • Just get some Bassett’s All-Sorts and only eat the black bits!

        (Yes, I am joking-that’s full of sugar which does tend to lead to farts. Ask your pharmacist for “pure” licquorice and forget pronunciation.)

      • I don’t remember Bassett’s. I always ate Black Knight

  11. Note to self – make sure husband never takes duogasterone. With his natural propensities, it could cause an earthquake.

    • Perhaps you’d better leave him at home if you come visit me down under

  12. Exploding your intestines doesn’t seem to me to be a good way to deal with an ulcer.

  13. Hanging mistletoe reminds me of hanging brains. Both are inappropriate.

  14. You really do enjoy boggling our minds, Nursey. Exploding colons and low hanging mistletoe!

  15. I once moved house because of a neighbour’s gastric noises, which could be heard through our flimsy walls… I imagine she must have been on similar medication. She was unaware of the sound due to her deafness.
    Sx

  16. Oops, doesn’t like html.

    Anyway what I was saying was, thank you for a *particularly* well-illustrated story.

  17. At first I thought “what a cool mosaic” but then saw the pills. Post will be forwarded to several artists I follow esp Val Erde in England.

  18. Can’t imagine what it must have been for her. But I can’t help laughing out too :p

  19. *takes notes to add to ‘excuse’ list*

  20. Amazing. Sounds potentially damaging. I’d hate to be the coroner that had to deal with something like that. Snap crackle pop, right in the face. I mean, if she died while taking them. That would be nasty. Also at the funeral. I can just see the people diving for cover.

  21. Good grief, the next time my GP prescribes me some unknown drug, I’d better question her very closely about the possibility of exploding bowels….

  22. Call me odd, but after the first abdominal explosion I would have asked for some other medication… that sort of explosion can’t be good for the intestinal system.

    • Or one’s nerves. Or one’s marriage.

  23. There are plenty of intra-abdominal shots going on around here most evenings, no drugs needed…

  24. Marvelous. I’d like a whole jar of the stuff…it’ll be cheaper than crackers at Christmas, or bangers on Guy Fawkes Night


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