mixmaster blong jesus christ

In 1980, journalist Richard Shears flew to Espiritu Santo, the largest island in the nation of Vanuatu. Back then these Melanesian islands were known as the New Hebrides. The islands were administered by Britain and France in what was known as a condominium.

Vanuatu waters by Ben McDarmont found here

“Consequently, some people spoke French, other English. The original inhabitants adopted Bislama, a type of pidgin English. They also used a picture language that seemed to combine a bit of English and pidgin, resulting in a brassiere being described as “basket blong titty”.

image found here

A toothbrush was “broom blong tut” (brush belonging to tooth), a helicopter was “Mixmaster blong Jesus Christ”. 

image found here

At the time of Shears’ visit, the condominium had two police forces and two jails. Foreign visitors who fell foul of the law could elect to be tried either by the French or British system. Most preferred the French because the gendarmes served wine with meals. 

Gendarme by Owen Franken found here

A telex Shears received from the London Mail’s Foreign Desk read “CANST CONFIRM URGENTEST PRINCE PHILIP LAUDED AS GOD BY JUNGLE TRIBE STOP”. He showed this to anthropologist Kirk Huffman who agreed that it was true:

image found here

The villagers’ belief seems to centre on a trip that the Queen and Prince Philip made in 1974 to Vanuatu aboard Britannia. Tannese legend has it that during a reception in the capital Port Vila, the Duke shook only the hands of men from Tanna. This news reached the residents of Yaohnanen, who were waiting for a gift in return for a pig they had given to a British officer some years before. The tribe sent a letter to Port Vila, asking where their gift was and inquiring about the Duke. In response the British delivered a framed portrait of the Duke, and the worship began.

image found here

All his correspondence, newspaper clippings about him and his portraits are kept in a hut that has become a shrine. Children are taught about a god who lives in England and will one day return.The chief of Yaohnanen, said: “We know he is a very old man, but when he comes here he is going to be young again, and so will everyone else on the island.”

image found here

Published in: on June 10, 2012 at 1:38 pm  Comments (47)  
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47 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. If you are ever in Edinburgh you absoultely must tour Britannia, but do also visit the west coast of Canada for the other one.

    • I’ve only been to the east coast of Canada. Hope to make it to the west someday.

  2. Absolutely!

  3. I’d be happy to show up as the Duke though I look nothing like him.

  4. Considering Prince Philip’s present condition, he may well wish to return and test the chief’s prophecy.
    Those marzipan babies? So lifelike. I have quite the sweet tooth but could NOT eat one of those.

    • there’s a correction at the bottom of the linked page saying they are actually made of polymer clay.

  5. Wonder whether it could be counted as cargo cult. The jesus christ mixmaster and the titty basket are both very nice, but these babies give me the creeps …

    • Eeww! Totally creepy things!

      • Zeus eating his children … munch munch munch

    • Yes it does sound like cargo cult. Damn Interesting has a great article about cargo cults….. “In New Guinea, one resulting version of Christianity described a god named Anus who delivered cargo of canned meat, steel tools, rice, and matches to Adam and Eve. When they discovered sex, Anus ejected them from Eden and struck them with a flood.”

      • That’s pretty much it, sen from a GI’s view sometimes in the Forties …

  6. Cute little hand babies!

    • Yes I think they’re cute but Dinah appears to be freaked out by them ;-)

      • I read that, at first I thought they were real. Figured they were Photoshopped.

  7. I don’t think Jenny would get very far if she went into Marks and Spencer and asked for a basket blong titty….

    If the islanders are daft enough to worship Prince Philip, he clearly didn’t visit them long enough to make any of his dodgy remarks about Johnny Foreigner and our slitty-eyed cousins.

  8. Some members of the tribe came to the UK a few years ago and met the Duke of Edinburgh – their god…..

    http://www.channel4.com/programmes/meet-the-natives/episode-guide/series-1/episode-3

  9. basket blong titty — gotta love it

  10. Oh God, “mixmaster blong Jesus Christ” – that is FANTASTIC.

    As you may remember, my little one called breastfeeding “having tubbletee”. Consequently, a bra was a “tubbletee holder”. I can really see him taking to “basket blong titty” in a big way.

  11. I’ve just read this again – so much to love. It really is rather touching.

  12. something tells me i won’t be visiting this spot any time soon.

  13. HRH Prince Phillip Duke of Edinburgh IS a God. Fact. I was once in a church awaiting a VIP visitation when I distinctly heard the Bishop say “It’s Prince Phillip – oh God!”

  14. Reminds me of the film, “The Gods Must Be Crazy!”

    Also reminds me of a tabloid headline about an Elvis tribe found in the jungle, which included a photo of natives wearing Elvis hairpieces, complete with sideburns–it was so funny I bought it for laughs!

    • There was also a tabloid “report” that Liberace and John Wayne were in Heaven, and that they were fighting over Marilyn Monroe.

      But the best I’ve ever read was the “sad story” of how duck hunters mistakenly shot an angel flying above!

  15. basket blong titty. LOL. i keep that in mind.

  16. A picture language you say?
    ‘Like’

  17. Now I’m wondering what a scrotum’s called.

    • ball blong tadpole?

  18. “lob pointy-uppy” – love it ! :lol:

  19. do they describe an erection as –

    dick pointy-uppy ?

    • how about cock-uppy?

  20. Weirdly, this is the third piece of writing about cargo cults that came by me yesterday. I think I might start up my own.

    • Haven’t you already got a cow cult?

  21. We should all go to that island when the Duke returns.

  22. oh, that is so sweet about Prince Philip.

    The first time I have ever associated with him warm feelings – I leave that up to Her Other Majesty.

  23. Funny that language sounds a bit like what’s spoken on the corner of S. Winebiddle and Penn Ave. where i used to live.

  24. There seems to be a bit of ‘blong’ everywhere…

  25. I think of a blong as a blog and a song so having a hard time with the basket blong titty

  26. “Blong” must be a catchall phrase, like “damn.”

    • I think it’s pidgin for “belong”

  27. I wondered what had happened to the New Hebrides. I’ve always felt The Duke was some sort of a God, and glad to now I am not alone in my views

  28. A basket blong titty, eh? I will have to toss this out to the hubs on date night…sure to make him frisky (ha!) Love the stuff you post – always so different!

    • Thanks Z&G. And good luck on date night ;-)

  29. Love the language. It could be put to good use on one of those websites where you enter your name and it tells you what your rapper/stripper/porn star name would be.


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