she had to eject it somewhere

An Environmental Health Inspector wrote this report in 1995 after viewing a performance by Stephanie Evans at the Ice House club

Princess Stephanie NOT Stephanie Evans found here

At 8:30pm Stephanie Evans appeared on stage. Approximately 35 people stood round the stage area to view Ms Evans on her back inserting ping pong balls in her vagina.  She then ejected the balls into the crowd where a small percentage of people attempted to catch the balls in their mouth or hands. Ms Evans agreed to autograph the balls after the show.

image found here

Pizza was available at all times and people ate during and after the show. Unlimited non alcoholic drinks were offered and most patrons had drinks on their table during the ping pong portion of the show. I served myself a slice of pizza from the delivery boxes on the bar. The temperature of the pizza was around 80 degrees F.

pizza art found here

At 10:15 Ms Evans re-appeared on stage. There were approximately 25 drink glasses on the counter that lined the stage from one end to the other being used by customers. There were no pizza slices on plates on the counter however there were people eating at several tables directly in front and to the sides of the stage.

old burlesque stage found here

Ms Evans sat in a large model of a champagne glass filled with liquid. She then rose out of the vessel and ejected water from her vagina into the crowd. Aim did not appear to be a concern. She repeated the actions several times and on the last occasion jumped out of the vessel and walked around the stage. It was obvious she had retained fluid in the orifice and was going to eject it somewhere.

Dita Von Teese found here

A customer was beckoned to move near her groin area whereupon she violently ejected the fluid she had retained directly in the customer’s face then walked back to the vessel to secure additional fluid. In order to observe the event I had to be in rather close proximity to the act but by now Ms Evans was ejecting fluid on almost everyone in the crowd and in order to avoid getting doused I left the establishment.

Wet Men by Francois Rousseau found here

In my judgement, the act of ejecting water from the vagina onto any food then consuming the food could create a health threat. My suggested compliance action would be to prohibit the serving of any food or drinks during any show that involves fluid being violently ejected from a vagina.

The URI to TrackBack this entry is: http://nursemyra.wordpress.com/2012/06/14/she-had-to-eject-it-somewhere/trackback/

RSS feed for comments on this post.

60 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. The inspector will be glad to know I always observe that rule meticulously when I’m cooking pizza or any other comestibles. I make sure I avoid any unsavoury fluid ejections.

    Emitting ping pong balls and faux champagne from one’s orifice seems a rather poor form of entertainment. But clearly some misguided souls were willing to hand over their hard-earned cash to watch such paltry goings-on.

  2. A reasonable compliance action. ( But I still wonder about people paying good money for such entertainment.:-) )

  3. There was, in the 1980s, a Canadian stripper, name of Mitzi Dupree, who was somewhat famed for a pretty similar act. Also somewhat famed for getting busted for it in every small town in Canada. It was a living.

    She achieved her true 15 minutes after what one surmises to be a slightly rude conversation with an unspecified member of Deep Purple (yes, that Deep Purple…) on a redeye flight from Salt Lake City, Utah. The band immortalized it by recording “Mitzi Dupree” for the 1987 album House of Blue Light

    Lyrics, and the information that one may still obtain the odd, ummm, collectible autographed ping pong ball from the era, can both be found on the ever-accommodating Google. Be my guest.

    • This is what Ian Gillan had to say about her

      “I was on a plane going to Salt Lake City when I was in Black Sabbath and I saw this most amazing boiler – oh, a sensational lump! – so I went over to talk to her and she said, ‘Hi, I’m Mitzi, Mitzi Dupree…’ and I thought, ‘Wow, what a great name!’ I was in love.:

      • Edifying, that. So, Direct Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon links to Black Sabbath and Deep Purple? Besides being multi-talented, Mitzi was some kinda quintessential 70s rock goddess, too. Wonder what she’s up to now?

  4. So… fluid in food is a health hazard, but fluid squirted directly onto people’s faces and ping-pong balls caught in people’s mouths aren’t? And what about the cold pizza?

    • I like cold pizza for breakfast

  5. Well, there’s a good reason to keep up with the Kegel exercises! ;)

    • One of many good reasons

  6. Why didn’t she use olives as an additional pizza topping, and wine for their glasses?

  7. Hmm… yes, I’ve heard of this, and the coin trick too, but I’ve always wondered, why not plastic smurfs?

    • What size Smurfs were you thinking of?

  8. I wonder how long you have to practice before you can perform those sort of tricks. Obviously I am wondering on behalf of a friend.
    Sx

    • It’s called the “Chinese Grip”, as I learned here some posts ago, and it can be a pretty satisfying kind of action.

      • haha…..

  9. i found myself hoping she was going to launch the ping pong balls into the glassware lined up on the bar. machine gun-style. THAT’S entertainment!

    • Haha! That’s what I was expecting too!

      • I thought it might have been like one of those carnival games, where if you toss a ball into a bowl you win a fish …

  10. You have to applaud the man for his diligence. If only every one was as dedicated to their work!

  11. Didn’t Gallagher do something like that, too?

    • should I know who Gallagher is?

      • Sorry about that, N.M…
        He’s a comedian who used to smash watermelons during his shows…

      • Was he any good?

      • You know… I… don’t think I’ve ever seen his act before.
        Only short video clips of his watermelon drenched audience…

  12. I never eject faux champagne – that would be trashy!

    • hahaha!

      Because GENUINE champagne would have been classy for this act!
      … must….find…tickets…

  13. We all need to earn a living. Respect due. Performer and health inspector both obviously at the top of their trade.

  14. How does one discover such a talent as Stephanie’s, one wonders?

    • through a plethora of compliments?

  15. …. “Du bist’n Babe Ich will Dein Badewasser saufen” …
    Did she smoke afterwards?

  16. A dozen of these wonders would make a great team for a town fire house brigade. Arsonists heaven.

  17. i never drink where a ping-pong ball has been.

    • And rightly so Ms Desmond

  18. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    • Careful there…. you might snort your drink all over the keyboard

  19. go to Thailand. there are those can eject all kinds of objects. its crazy.

  20. It sounds a most unerotic way of getting close to a woman’s area.

  21. Mrs. Wife and I saw the Broadway production of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert and, believe it or not, one of the dance numbers ended with a girl simulating shooting ping pong balls out of her vag into the audience. Trash goes mainstream!

    • That happens in the film as well. though I suppose it’s a little more shocking in a stage production.

  22. This might be strange, but all I can think is – surely, ejecting ping pong balls can’t be that hard! Seriously, I’ve never tried, but is it that impressive of a skill? Man, now I’m gonna have to go out and buy some to verify my hypothesis.

    • I guess it all depends on propulsion power. Let me know how your experiment pans out Megan.

  23. Honeysuckle Divine used to blow out clouds of dusting powder. I have to think that would make one uncomfortably dry.

  24. I’m just not seeing why this is something people would pay to see. I guess I am hopelessly old fashioned when it comes to what I find erotic….

  25. I think this qualifies as history of public health.

    • I think it does too

  26. All the good comments are taken but I really did find this very amusing and completely unhygienic.

  27. Well, coyote beat me to mentioning Mitzi Dupree. Not only ping pong balls, Mitzi could blow smike rings and play a flute with her parts. That’s talent! She was charged with obscenity in 1981 after a show in Kamloops, B.C. but the judge found her not guilty. Her performance fee went from $500 a week to $5000. (I don’t know how many shows she had to perform in a week.)Smoke ring blowing would get her charged now for violating no smoking laws.

    • A flute? Fantastic!

      • So I understand. I never saw her act. Sometimes, looking back, you recognize cultural landmarks that you missed.

  28. I tend to agree with the health inspector. A good towel and some hand sanitiser would come in handy as well. ;)

  29. Well, well, well….THAT is an interesting post! (And with some very interesting pics to boot!) You continue to make me smile with your blog :)
    anne

  30. This may be the single greatest governmental report ever. I never get to see anything like this on the Board of Equalization.

  31. The lesson learned: always eat before going to the strip club

  32. That’s so weirdly hilarious, I’m laughing my ass off! It reminds me of a story about the notorious Rolling Stones Groupie Marianne Faithfull. The story goes that once she inserted a Baby Ruth bar into her vagina, and the entire band ate it up!

    • I’ve read her autobiography. It’s all a load of codswallop.

  33. Not only women can do some strange things with their genitals. I remember to have seen footage of an Indian holy man who could pump air out of his membrum virile, he could blow out a candle and move leaves f.e. I have no idea whether a trick was involved or not. And I think others could exhale smoke from their ears. Maybe in an ethnographical collection something could be found. I saw it on tv more than thirty years ago.

  34. Ah, a very wise and sensible report! As I was reading it, indeed, I was myself wondering if anyone had done an environmental health report on this place. I suspect a potential violation on electrical safety, for instance, if there were an electrical appliance such as a lamp on a nearby table. Ping pong balls can bruise of the eyes if ejected with sufficient force, also. I hope the lady was not tempted to do anything with darts.

  35. yawn, not new. Justinian’s most salacious wife, Theodora, had even better party tricks:

    Often, even in the theater, in the sight of all the people, she removed her costume and stood nude in their midst, except for a girdle about the groin: not that she was abashed at revealing that, too, to the audience, but because there was a law against appearing altogether naked on the stage, without at least this much of a fig-leaf. Covered thus with a ribbon, she would sink down to the stage floor and recline on her back. Slaves to whom the duty was entrusted would then scatter grains of barley from above into the calyx of this passion flower, whence geese, trained for the purpose, would next pick the grains one by one with their bills and eat. When she rose, it was not with a blush, but she seemed rather to glory in the performance.

    http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/basis/procop-anec.asp


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 162 other followers

%d bloggers like this: