the romance of the battlefield

most of you non medical folk know the basic mechanism of conception right? erect male loads his gun, inserts the barrel in nearby female and fires off a round sending several hundred million soldiers into the battlefield.

but not all enlistees are equal. first we have the blockers, sluggardly little fellows with coiled tails and large heads, maybe even 3 or 4 heads. their job is simply to block the path taken by any other man’s sperm who may try and slip past. such things do happen. not at the Gimcrack of course.

the comparatively athletic killer sperm have a more lethal mission. they are not content to laze around the cervical couch like bags of sand. instead they roam the dance floor searching for infiltrators. any other sperm they encounter better be from the same gun or it’s open warfare. with head to head combat.

the generals of this army are of course the egg-getters. they do look very similar to their killing cousins but their heads are slightly more swollen. rank tends to have that effect. there’s only about 1 million of the egg-getters in any round of ammmunition. together with the killers they pour through the defences in waves, heading straight for the oviduct and cervical crypts where they settle down to await developments.

if the aforementioned female releases an egg anytime in the next few days our patient 4 star General makes his move. 9 months later you get a baby.

unless you’re a member of the good doctor’s fan club. there’s sex, violence and romance aplenty at the gimcrack but we’ve yet to celebrate a geriatric pregnancy. time will tell.

Published in: on March 18, 2007 at 8:36 am  Comments (8)  

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8 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. So a condom is… er… The Maginot Line?

  2. ah… the old french letter reference. trust a reverend to come up with that one

  3. Yes, and a recepticle tip must be the English Channel . . . .

  4. I see you boys know your medical terms well

  5. i imagine its not to hard to pull rank at the Gimcrack

  6. as long as you’re not suggesting I pull anything else…

  7. How appropriate that there’s me – a Yank – in this thread . . .

  8. FFE: I can’t top that 🙂

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