hero true colours

Huzhou Tulip Medical Equipment  has a product they would like me to stock at the Gimcrack. It contains cow penis, excessive sheep, caterpillar fungus and meaty cong jung. I’m not sure if the Australian Customs Department would allow me to import meaty cong, they can be pretty narrow minded about that sort of thing.

It’s a very tempting product as it promises to cure so many of the ailments our patients are prone to:

Premature ejaculation, Penis shoreness, Prostatitis, Long
marriage not educate, Male female could, Spermatorrhoea, Slip
canny, waist enough aching and limp, Loses eye forgetful, middle and old aged body weak impotence, Penis atropht, Sexual desire slows
down wit for manhoodmale

they are particularly prone to loses eye forgetful and old aged body weak impotence though I wasn’t so sure about spermatorrhoea so I decided to see what Dr. Cheena had to say:

Semen loss can exhaust each and every system. So, one must treat semen loss with care to avoid dangerous after-effects. Of course, the incidences of spermatorrhoea are increasing in youths in this fantasy world. The reason behind it may be a polluted mind, due to circumstances and media (books, TV, movies, Internet, etc.). This pollution has made many youths notice mucous discharges, even ejaculation, while watching erotic scenes, sometimes even while talking to glamorous girls.

nursemyra has always strived to bring glamour to the Gimcrack so I am horrified to learn that in so doing I may have been subjecting our patients to spermatorrhoea. so please, in the interests of better sexual health practices for geriatric psychiatry, if you know how I can get some Hero True Colours past our vigilant customs officers notify me immediately.


Published in: on April 29, 2007 at 6:08 am  Comments (15)  

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15 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. My youngest son bought some Hero True Colours for me when he back from a recent trip to China. He (and I) thought it was some kind of oriental hair colour restorer, and goodness knows my greying locks needed it.

    I can report that it does nothing to reduce the grey. Had I been aware that it was designed to ‘long marriage not educate’, perhaps I could have induced Mrs Blunt to take a couple of pills.

  2. Can you order me a crate please? – I’ve definitely got a slowed down wit – thank you – oh, and we’re moving shortly, so some boxes as well. I will be recommending your services.

  3. Oh, so that sperm loss has been your fault! I want my money back.

  4. BB: greying locks look distinguished, especially on a man of your calibre. I am however most concerned about the state of your long marriage not educate. have you tried inserting the pills into mrs blunt’s rectum while she is asleep?

    DaddyP: there is nothing wrong with your wit. stop fishing or I’ll send TG that appliance she’s been enquiring about

    Envelope: as I recall you were pretty ecstatic over your loss at the time. now you want your money back?

  5. It seems the easiest way to get this product past customs is to claim that it’s the Hong Kong martial arts flick DVD that the cover actually looks like.

  6. It says on the box Super Enforcement Capsule. “Enforcement?” It’s like getting an erection is a police action with this product.

  7. FFF: there’s a big prize if you deliver in person 🙂

    Renalfailure: you read chinese? I’m impressed. I could barely decipher the translation.

  8. Hmmm – I can’t be sure whether your suggestion re the insertion is a ploy to fool the customs, or a genuine desire on your part to improve my marital intimacy with Mrs Blunt.
    If the former, then I can assure you Mrs Blunt could easily be recruited as a ‘camel’ for your scheme: she’s reliable, discreet and (since the operation) has enough capacity to keep The Gimcrack going for quite a few weeks with Hero True Colours.
    If the latter, then I fear your advice may be too late.

  9. Actually I don’t know any Chinese. It says “Super Enforcement Capsule” in English in small print under the Chinese lettering. You can make out the “Super” by that guy’s head, who looks like a bad American Ninja Michael Dudikoff clone.

  10. looks like my Sir Run Run Shaw thesis is holding water – something I doubt Nurse Myra sees among most of her charges.

    By the way, what’s the prize? I hope it’s not le Duc . . . .

  11. BB: it was genuine advice, my condolences on the state of your marriage

    Renalfailure: I’m still impressed. but with your eyesight this time

    FF: no, no not le duc. It’s an evening with nursemyra and I promise not to bring instruments

  12. Although I am touched by your concern, please do not worry yourself about the state of my marriage, nursemyra. All your empathy and support are needed at The Gimcrack.

    I’m sure that, if Mrs Blunt is unable to appreciate my new-found ability (thanks, of course, to Hero True Colours) to generate my seed in profusion, I shall find someone else who does.

  13. So I am suffering an excess of sperm loss in my youth. Ok, I’ll leave him alone!

    I know, I know, an old joke from an old joker!

  14. BB: It’s good to see that you’re pretty uppity despite mrs blunt’s shortcomings 🙂

    Archie: well it may be old but I hadn’t read it before. now I’ve just snorted my yakult down the wrong way. got any more like that?

  15. Isn’t that the stuff they caught Stallone with? If so, it’s obviously not working…

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