nocturnal emissions

nursemyra has become greatly concerned about the increasing occurences of spermatorrhoea among the patients at the gimcrack.

according to my informants at the Gutenberg nocturnal emissions are a disease which as it progresses, causes the erections to become less perfect. At first, these emissions may occur but once in two or three weeks, unless the patient be excited by company, stimulation, food, drinks, or other causes; but, at a later stage of the disease, they sometimes take place every night. In aggravated cases, the seminal sacs are so weakened that the warmth of the bed, friction of the clothing, reading obscene literature, viewing indecent pictures, indulging in lewd conversation, or even being in the presence of women, produces a waste of semen—many times unattended by erections.

this is distressing news as nursemyra’s presence brings comfort to so many of her patients. but further reading of the Gutenberg has forced me to limit my personal appearances in the ward. I do not wish to induce the sad state of affairs as illustrated in fig. 2

testicle in healthy conditiontesticle in healthy condition

testicle-wasted-by-masturbation.pngtesticle wasted by masturbation

Published in: on May 1, 2007 at 9:23 am  Comments (21)  

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21 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I thought that particular pathology was named “adolescence”?

  2. I thought it was called “middle age.”

  3. i thought it meant receiving a patient after nightfall.

  4. D’oh! That’s a nocturnal ADmission.

  5. I suppose the etchings included in this post were sticky but suitable for framing . . . .

  6. I don’t think. I still look at women……… but I’ve forgotten why.

  7. Raincoaster & Firm: (hmm…that sounds like a firm of chartered accountants)Adolesence, middle age, old age…. it’s curse at all ages apparently. no lewd conversations here please

    Ian:nursemyra accepts new admissions by appointment only

    FFF: we adhere to strict hygiene rules at the gimcrack. all etchings are thoroughly prechecked for stickiness

    DaddyP: that’s because TG controls your mind. be grateful, it’s for your own good

  8. As a hard-bitten former journalist, I thought I had witnessed most things in my time, but your articles always give me pause for thought.

    The production of semen without an erection? I’ve many a time in life experienced the former without the latter, but this is a new one on me.

    I can see your private clinic is going to be fuller even than usual next week. I would advise stocking up on the latex gloves and Kleenex.

  9. Nursemyra, I resent you posting pictures of my withered testicles without asking for permission. (By the way, the hair remover did wonders for my palms. Thanks!)

  10. BB: I am very concerned that there are unattended erections at large so will indeed be ‘stocking up’ as per your suggestion.

    Firm: that wasn’t hair remover I sent you…..

  11. Damn

  12. I was a bit excited. I meant to say ‘the latter without the former’. That will teach me to try to type one-handed.

  13. I knew that 🙂

  14. They make no mention of the seminal sacs being weakened by excess congress with a mattress…

  15. “I knew that”: then you are wiser in the ways of the world than I imagined, nursemyra. The phrase ‘he types with one hand’, accompanied by a sly wink, of course, was the journalistic equivalent of calling someone a wa**er in my day. But in those days, a wa**er wasn’t the term of opprobrium it is now. How language changes!

  16. Anaglyph: only you and I know why that is so funny 🙂

    BB: we must be old fashioned down under. we still refer to one handed typists as wankers

  17. Here I was visiting Gimcrack in the hope of reassurance that I was normal and then I came across this post…I mean…oh sod it; this comments section is already full enough with innuendo without me adding my share…damn I did it again…oh blast it…I’m off.

  18. Crofty: welcome!!!! so sorry I can’t reassure you re: being normal. you wouldn’t have found me in the first place if you were. but now that you’re here…..

  19. nursemyra, tread softly on Crofty… he’s only just landed on your gossamer web, but I’m sure he will have lots more to share if he isn’t frightened away. The Gimcrack is not a place to be visited merely once, and be forgotten – it sears it’s way, enticingly, into our very psyche with every tender (and not so tender) word you pen.

  20. BB: everything about nursemyra is tender. particularly her ministrations, one handed and otherwise

  21. […] site is her laudable goal of keeping others from inciting lasciviousness as past readers know what effect this can have on the […]

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