the travelling figure eight

nursemyra likes to keep up with the latest medical techniques and consequently spends a portion of her non-working hours selflessly conducting research.

my committment to furthering the mental health of others has led me to where a charming educator offers a 14 lesson tutorial on fellatio.

nursemyra was a little surprised that it would take 14 lessons to master a technique she perfected quite some years ago. nevertheless I dutifully read through all the recommended sucks steps to ensure I was not omitting vital manoeuvres. I am delighted to report that a refresher course will not be necessary and I have awarded myself a score of 14/14.

however….  an addendum revealed a method I have not yet had the pleasure of performing. I hesitate to reveal my previous ignorance of the travelling figure eight but now I have become aware my repertoire is incomplete and am determined to correct this untenable situation.

as nursemyra is alone this evening I intend to use the time wisely. the bananas that were fortuitiously purchased on my way home from the gimcrack will have a dual purpose tonight. by the morning I expect to have optimum levels of potassium, fibre and vitamin C in my body.

and an honours degree in fellatio.

Published in: on May 3, 2007 at 9:08 am  Comments (36)  

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36 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. That article is most peculiar. It seems to be alternately written by a female and a male… (I refer you to Lesson 3, for example)

    Disconcerting for a strictly straight Reverend like myself.

  2. Isn’t it all written by a male?

  3. We’re all waiting for the blow-by-blow account.

  4. At last, something I can print out and leave on Mrs Blunt’s bedside table! In large-print format, of course.

    Not so sure about the implications of that phrase ‘the basic penis’ however…

    I wonder, nursemyra, whether there is a companion piece to this fine article, for the benefit of gentlemen who wish to pleasure their partner with oral ministrations? If you don’t know of anything suitable, but would care to commission something, I think you have my contact details already.

    Affectionately Yours


  5. You’ve got Mr.Blunt’s contacts? When did he leave them with you and under what circumstances? and most importantly, does Mrs Blunt know of this meeting?

  6. – forget about the kettle this time! Booking my flight now…

  7. FFF: you’ll all be waiting a long time. nursemyra would never suck and tell (especially not about the banana.

    BB: in keeping with the fine tradition started by, I don’t doubt your prowess in this matter but perhaps it should be written by some luscious lesbian?

    DaddyP: he left them with me while he was surfing. salty substances hurt his eyes

    Penfold: ok I’ll be at Kingsford Smith at 4pm monday. look for the nurse in the latex uniform

  8. – I’ll wear mine too. Don’t forget the talc…

  9. “but perhaps it should be written by some luscious lesbian?”

    We can only live in hope.

  10. Nothing on the banana? It’s definitely going to be a cruel summer . . . .

  11. …don’t forget it’s going on to winter down there, must watch for chills nurse…

  12. Penfold: I am very wary of too much talc as you would know if you perused my archives

    THj: hope is the thing with feathers…

    FFF: the banana had no complaints

    Letters: nursemyra loathes winter, even the mild sydney kind. perhaps now I should warn you that I head for warmer climes every june so the gimcrack will be temporarily silenced in 4 weeks time. get your crack while it’s still firing

  13. Tsk. Nurse Myra, you can blog from warmer climes. I did…

  14. but reverend…. you took your own laptop and had access to wireless.

    nursemyra is laptopless 😦

  15. I’m going to resist the temptation for the obvious range of responses . . . .

  16. FFF: I always count it as a win if I render you responseless

  17. Well, politeness has to count for something these days . . .

  18. By the way, is a traveling figure-eight related to a Traveling Wilbury?

  19. […] for squirrel recognition and closely monitor Nursemyra’s desire to do whatever she likes with bananas. So I have come to a unanimous descision with myself to do absolutely nothing and make no changes […]

  20. FFF: I’m surprised at you. don’t you know to use the queen’s english at the gimcrack? our figure eights are traveLLing so they couldn’t possibly be related to any wiLburys

    Penfold: are you blogging on the plane? or are you arriving by magic carpet? monday 4 pm!

  21. But they say it’s a figure-eight on its side… which makes it the symbol for infinity. I think it should be renamed The Infinity Blowjob. Sounds like something out of a comic book. “Behold Nurse Myra! Wielder of the Infinity Blowjob!”

  22. renal failure you’re killing me.

    I think I’m going to get that printed on a business card

  23. I surfed over from my buddy Lizza’s site.


  24. welcome mimi!!

    I am delighted to have a new female reader, now I can raise the standard around here.

    have added you to my blogroll too. nice site 🙂

  25. This entire post should be retitled or subtitled “Sucks to be you . . .”

  26. should it come before or after “the Infinity Blow Job as performed by NurseMyra”?

  27. Please note that I’ve been polite enough not to request a demonstration yet.

  28. au contraire….. see comment #3

  29. au au contraire – I merely asked of the banana’s condition, not a free sample.

    I’m no prude; I just show good manners >B^D>

  30. manners maketh the man 🙂

  31. […] of you know I have a liking for bananas and could happily subsist on such firm fruit and chocolate for long periods at a time. but for […]

  32. […] he’s taken a dislike to Prissy who was one we welcomed at the morning tea yesterday. apparently she got the last banana as they were handing out the fruit and he got stuck with an orange. guess I’m not the only one who’s fond of bananas. […]

  33. […] has a much better use for bananas. if you’re going to look at just one of the links in this post, I’d advice you to pick […]

  34. most women, apart from finns, give crap blowjobs in my experience. so its nice to see someone showing them how to do it properly. Please pass onto this organisation that I will be happy to take interns from this course for research purposes. I like to do my bit.

  35. I’m thinking about running a course of my own….

  36. […] ever since I wrote about the travelling figure eight technique of oral sex, I’ve had “dear nursemyra” letters from strangers wanting […]

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