meet Dr. Felix, Phil Spector’s long lost cousin

we have a patient at the Gimcrack who has only one testicle. quite possibly he has a second one hiding somewhere but he’s remarkably sanguine about his singledom and often mentions it in passing as in “hello, my name is Rolf*, I only have one testicle”.

most people wouldn’t take this any further but nursemyra was a little bored today and thought she’d press Rolf for details. surprisingly there were none. he didn’t know why and he didn’t particularly care, he just liked to watch the reaction when he made his disclosure.

researching male anatomy is nursemyra’s passion so I’ve googled a few appropriate words and discovered…… the voluntary eunuch. It’s quite a long article and you may not have the stomach nor the time to read it all so here’s an excerpt that tells you all you need to know.

Tom paid $10,000 to have his testicles removed  because: “They spoiled the line of his swimsuit.”

Dr. Spector charges $1,600 for a two-hour testicle-removal surgery. For an additional $1,200, Spector will slice away the eunuch’s scrotum.Dr. Spector is willing to perform controversial elective surgeries, but there are some lines even he isn’t willing to cross—namely, penectomies (removal of the penis). “I’m a little conservative in my attitude,” Spector admits.

well, we’re a little conservative here at the gimcrack too Phil Felix. we’re not going to mess with Rolf’s half empty scrotum, even if it does spoil the line of his swimsuit a little.

we could always pad it out with one of our inflatables….


* name changed on a whim only

Published in: on May 15, 2007 at 8:27 am  Comments (21)  

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21 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. You spoiled my fun Nursemyra – I was going to do the ‘Phil’ joke but, as always, you are way ahead of the game. Balls [ or in Rolf’s case ball ]

  2. The above comment indicates that I didn’t read the title. This would be true. I had had only had one cup of coffee at the time………..sorry nurse. I’ll try harder next time.

  3. Oh God, now trouble with my ‘hads’……..I’m so………………………….sorrowful.

  4. Luckily, I think I’m alone.

  5. Note to self: prior to next use, remember to re-evaluate “a little conservative” for context.

  6. umm, nurse – that article came from Hustler, right? you know how i’m a stickler for accuracy and such… are you sure it’s not as fake as the boobs in the magazine?

  7. That’s a sad story in a way. Separating two things (even for the sake of aesthetics) that should be together is always sad.

    But that’s a neat costume. Is that what you wear on casual Fridays?

  8. I wonder what Brihat Samhita has to say about the imbalance of half a bagful.
    By the way – I love it when you wear your long dress…

  9. If I lost a testicle, I would make sure that I had a story for it. In fact, if you’re missing any body part, you should have a story to go along with it. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, just have a story.

    “So, how’d you lose your testicle?”

    “Cougar attack.”

    Much better.

  10. Cryptorchidism – maybe it’s hiding up there – I think we should be told.

  11. DaddyP: hope TG doesn’t let you remain sorrowful for too long. nursemyra’s next clinical trial begins June 2 in SE Asia if you want to sign up 🙂
    Raj: hey we’re all “a little conservative” at heart. buggar the context
    Ian: I believe it did though that’s not where I found it. just google “elastrator” if you’d like to read what some conservative people get up to with rubber bands and salty ice
    Lizza: you are a woman of ideas! now I have an advance post for casual fridays
    Penfold: that’s not me. you know I am a ravishing brunette. but it is a reasonable facsimile of traineenurse
    Renal Failure: let me rework that for australia. Echidna attack maybe?
    Beach Bum: thanks for dropping by! I’ve got the rubber gloves if you’ve got the inclination 🙂

  12. Had to look up what an Echinda is. Oh no! An echinda stabbed my scrote! Tasmanian Devils are cliched.

  13. I have some testicles I wish to be removed.

    They are not mine, I must add.

  14. I wasn’t talking about the photo –
    I just love it when you wear your long dress… 😉

  15. Renal Failure: I was going to suggest a platypus, but echidna sounded spikier

    LL: I’ve just returned from visiting your site and I think you’ve already emasculated poor Botter enough.

    Penfold: are you talking about the one with the strategically placed vents?

  16. It all reads like a passage from Honore de Balzac . . . .

  17. does it? I need to brush up on my Balzac

  18. – don’t worry I can do that for you (mine could do with a quick brushing too incidentally)!
    (and yes – ahh those vents of yours…)

  19. now now penfold, brushing can’t be too rushed….

  20. Sorry I couldn’t come up with something Proust-ly or Camus-ian . . .

  21. Nure Myra, you are so HOT I would love you to sadistically force-pump the most EXCRUCIATINGLY painful 100 suppositories and and 10 litre enema to me with a foot-pump. Jay XXX

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