the bowel chart

there’s a lot of paperwork at the gimcrack. we chart everything: medications, weights, skin integrity, fluid intake, disobedience…. and of course the workings of the bowel.

the progress of food through the digestive system has often slowed down considerably in some of our older patients. which is why we force feed offer them prunes every morning because if they go too many days with Bowels Not Opened written on their chart, sooner or later we have to resort to the enema.

nursemyra prefers to spend her day working on her phallomancy research project and usually delegates enema duty to traineenurse. it took her a while but I think she’s got it down pat now.


Published in: on May 16, 2007 at 11:33 am  Comments (18)  

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18 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I hereby volunteer for work experience as a trainee nurse at Gimcrack.


  2. Can’t talk now – the terrible Goddess has fainted.

  3. Good Lord Nursemyra, this is too much for my little Peabrain; I’m going to have to restrict his viewing rights.

    The Terrible Goddess does NOT faint.

  4. Why in the name of all that’s holy are the nurse’s breasts throbbing when she squeezes the thing-a-ma-jiggy in her hand?

  5. In a very post-hippy way, we are all one with her breasts.


  6. AG: sorry andrew. all our trainee nurses have to look good in latex and fishnets. It’s a job requirement.

    DaddyP: you know what happens if you spread untruths about TG don’t you?

    TG: of course you don’t faint. we all knew that already. better upgrade your NetNanny program, DaddyP must have found a way around it

    Lizza: the same reason yours were throbbing when you wrote your food porn post

  7. Dear Nurse Myra,

    I have done the photo-shoot. Where should I send the piccies?


  8. Down pat? Looks more like it’s up Pat if you ask me . . .

  9. Dear Nurse Myra, I have just noticed that the self-admitted eminent Mr Bill Blunt (who may not be the sharpest willy in the pack) has, on his blogroll, labelled your site “PG”.

    Now that is most unfair as I no longer have any parents to give me guidance. Does this mean I can no longer visit your most remarkable site?

  10. Always remember to wear your heels while getting an enema, because it’s damn classy.

  11. Nice animation. Do any of your patients actually look like that? (That’s rhetorical in case you didn’t spot it…)

  12. Andrew: post ’em on your site and we’ll all drop by for a look

    FFF: I put the “pat” line in especially for you

    Archie: Yes, I’ve noticed that too. maybe bill can explain it to us….?

    Renal Failure: only if you’re under 50. and most of our patients aren’t

    Anaglyph: yes/no/maybe

  13. I hold no briefs for nursemyra, though God knows it’s not for want of trying. It’s a brave man who accuses Bill Blunt of sycophancy, but I do have a certain audience who are best warned what they might be letting themselves in for. Hence, I’m content with the PG warning. If it’s good enough for Twentieth Century Fox, it’s good enough for Bill Blunt!

  14. BB: everything else about nursemyra comes with a warning label so it’s only right that you extend it to her blog.

    and you’ve given me an idea….

  15. Where where do you get all these great and funny animations and visuals?? Amazing!!


  16. sadly, it’s from spending way too much time trawling the internet

  17. […] don’t give a rat’s arse about the bowel charts my previous post on bowel charts was well received. it seems my readers are avid for information about what to expect should they […]

  18. […] nursing staff at the gimcrack are used to giving enemas. if the coloxyl and senna tablets aren’t working we’re in there with the rubber hose […]

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