the return of the nurse

gimcrack readers can stop their fretting. nursemyra had a few days in Saigon to recover at the end of her tour of duty and she selflessly devoted this time to the testing of new medical devices.

one such device was discovered by accident after attending a bar night lecture. an attractive professional, attuned to nursemyra’s interest in the human body, persuaded me to inspect the WO/2003/003968 by strongarm tactics describing its unique features. due to language difficulties I was unable to ascertain why the technician felt it necessary to join me on the WO/2003/003968 but I can vouch for the effectiveness of this machine.

at first glance it appears to be one of those massage chairs often seen at large shopping malls but the resemblance is merely superficial. the chair responds immediately to the weight of the human body by closing around all four limbs holding the patient so the procedure may take place.

an excerpt from the manufacturer describes the orgasmic experience examination nursemyra undertook in the interests of medical research:

Disclosed is a massage chair having a perineum massage device. The massage chair includes a buttock support, perineum massaging means being installed inside the buttock support to correspond to a user’s perineum for massaging the user’s perineum by being vibrated and rotated, and elevating means for exposing the perineum massaging means to the outside of the buttock support by raising and lowering the perineum massaging means manually or automatically according to the user’s operation. The present invention has advantages of improving renal function, promoting a production speed of sex hormones, developing muscles in a lower part of the body, strengthening the user’s waist by virtue of stimulation of spinal nerves, relieving tension, achieving emotional stability.

despite previous extensive perineum medical experience, the unexpected production speed of sex hormones and consequent achievement of emotional stability took nursemyra by surprise, particularly as it occurred in a semi public arena. but judging by the gleam I detected in the eye of Miss Saigon as she pressed the release button on the WO/2003/003968 it was an entirely anticipated result.

I am currently attempting to raise 45,588,000 VND to further a new research project. all donations* may be laundered deposited via the gimcrack.

* donations of the fiscal variety only please

Published in: on July 1, 2007 at 11:40 am  Comments (19)  

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19 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Welcome baaaaack!

    WHY did I not see this massage chair in Saigon? Trust you to sniff out the fun stuff. All I did was drink beer.

    And more info about your new research project, please.

  2. So good to have you back, and so fresh and relaxed with it!

    We’ve missed you, nursemyra, and now our universe can return to something like the state of abnormality we all enjoy.


  3. Nice to see you back…and yes I have just tagged you….sorry!

  4. Welcome back. I did manage to find them again, both it and the other bit. Now I can communicate with the rest of the world again.

    Has the cast at the gimcrack changed much in your absence?

  5. I am always disappointed by the lack of a perineum machine at the gym. Now I can get that full body workout I’ve always wanted.

  6. Oh Gawd – sleepless nights again.

    As it happens I’m after a chair for the new pad but the TG and I seem to have different priorities. I will, of course, keep you informed who wins…………… oh, what’s the point…….this is a complete waste of time isn’t it? I lose and I’ll have to make the best of the apple box won’t I? Poo

  7. Missed ya Nursie…
    *big snog and a quick grope*
    Nothing important happened in your absence. Apart from being coersed into releasing nekkid photos if I win Big Blogger by the seemingly demure Lizza…
    It’s always the quiet ones.

  8. A regular Seat Of Power, eh. One each for home and work?

    Welcome back!

  9. Don’t see that everyday, unless you’re working for the Inquisition, I suppose . . . .

  10. Hey FFF – I didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition – – –

  11. NOOOOOObody expects the Spanish Inquisition . . . . even with the buzz about this new chair . . . .

  12. Does it come with the soft cushions?

  13. Lizza: the research project requires ‘the chair’ but if I can’t raise the cash maybe Penfold would suffice

    BB: well thanks Bill, I’ve missed you too 🙂

    Sylvied: now that I know you’re a Parisian born cook I’ll be visiting more often

    Archie: no staff changes but several new patients. there’s one in particular you’ll be hearing about shortly

    Renal F: did you notice it’s good for renal function too? I thought of you during my examination

    DaddyP: if TG tested this chair you’d never get her off it so I guess you’d end up with the apple box either way

    Papersurfer: nekkid photos? where’s the voting button? how many times can I press it?

    RaJ: having trouble raising the cash for one. got any spare dong lying around?

    FFF: ah… now it all falls into place

    Archie: it’s only hard where it counts

  14. I wonder if the line for this massage chair is as long as the line for the iPhone??

  15. I think it’s still a well kept secret. or it was until I blabbed

  16. […] my lips. regular readers know nursemyra has a fascination for instruments, and is also partial to medically sanctioned examination chairs. so I thought what the […]

  17. This was a great post, thanks for showing it to me, Nurse Myra… I notice you’ve found fracas, this is another blog you might get a kick out of… it’s called “I AM SMART”:

  18. hey gabriel – thanks for delving into my back copy 🙂

    I’ve taken your advice and checked out enjoyed his neil sedaka post

  19. […] word of warning if you’re travelling to vietnam like nursemyra sometimes does. take an emergency dental repair kit with you as these are the kind of teeth you could end up […]

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