sauteed vagina

while on her recent tour of duty, nursemyra and her medical friends had a discussion about treating yeast infections if access to western medicine proved limited. the conversation took a personal turn with ninnynurse wondering aloud whether certain symptoms indicated an overabundance of flora was occurring in her own delectable honey pot.

DoctorT showed professional concern before recommending the local treatment of inserting a peeled garlic clove at bedtime. to facilitate removal the following morning, he suggested sewing a string through the middle of the clove beforehand.

ninnynurse appeared rather appreciative of this advice, particularly as the consultation was free and accompanied by lubricating mai tais. it didn’t seem to matter to her that his qualifications were from Degrees-R-Us as he had attractive facial hair and a couple of erotic tattoos. on the other hand it didn’t seem to worry him that the honeypot might be harbouring a few extra blossoms.

later in the evening, during the followup consultation, DoctorT found his medical bag contained no garlic so another method was used involving his placebo. some patients are more susceptible to the placebo effect and ninnynurse apparently is one of these.

I fear by the time she returned to her home country she may well have been thoroughly sauteed and beyond the help of a little acupuncture and a dollop of yoghurt. luckily there’s always flagyll for the yeast infection though science is still working on the antidote to attractive facial hair combined with erotic tattoos.


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22 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. a couple of erotic tatoos on the other hand?

    Welcome back, nursemyra!

    david b dale

  2. You old romantic you! The magic that is a Goddess is intacta. I was afraid of sleepless nights on your return – I’m now thinking along the lines of sedatives and a stiff brandy.

  3. You’re going to complain about the word ‘old’ aren’t you – I’m always putting my foot in it. Ummmm… can get a yeast infection on your feet can’t you? ….. it’s all beginning to make sense

  4. I am not sure I want to know about Dr T’s placebo, in case it makes me jealous…


  5. In a pinch, will shallots and white wine do?

  6. First, and foremost, the garlic trick will only keep vampires (vampyres) away from her pussy, it will do nothing for yeast.

    Secondly, yes, yogurt will still work, as long as it is plain, without added sugar. I recall recommending this to several clients over the years who complained of similar symptoms… they were certain that I fell off the passing turnip truck.

    Myself, I cannot imagine filling a peri-pad with plain yogurt and sitting on it for hours at a time.

    I prefer a prescription and good old fashioned western medicine please!

  7. And I always thought a spoonful of sugar helped the medicals go down… oh – I found a picture and thought of you…

  8. DavidBD: thanks for dropping by. maybe you could solve this dilemma one of your very short novels

    DaddyP: just make sure you wash those feet well before you play tootsie with TG

    BB: but would you really want to put your placebo into the flora?

    FFF: only if you’re the chef

    Doctor Mom: as usual you’ve shed more light on a tricky subject. you can sit on the yoghurt? I thought you had to insert it

    Beach Bum: and to which picture might we be referring? and damn you for filling my brain with Mary Poppins

  9. Sometimes I like to pretend I’m a doctor, and I’ll ask a girl if she would like to participate in a double-blind study. When she asks what that is, I tell it’s where we make savage love in the dark. Then I get kicked in the placebo, thus invalidating the experiment.

    Science is hard.

  10. Nurse Myra We instructed our itchy-fishy clients to place a small dollop onto a peri-pad and place it next to their perineum. I have not instructed anyone to insert it into the vagina. Although anything would be better than that ridiculous pruritis.

    Renal Failure Science IS hard, and shouldn’t be attempted by amateurs.

  11. Sounds like renalfailure needs to listen to a little Thomas Dolby . . .

  12. RenalF: you really need to invest in a placebo protector

    DoctorM: itchy-fishy? hope raincoaster is not reading this

    FFF: oh I think he’s already been affected enough. have you read his blog lately?

  13. Yes, it itches like crazy and there’s a strange pungent-fishy smell that accompanies the candida yeast infection


  14. Garlic??? The home remedy I heard about involves washing your privates in vinegar. And WHY would we want an antidote to attractive facial hair and tattoos?

  15. DoctorM: wondering if I should amend the post to rename ninnynurse to itchy-fishy. it has such a wholesonme ring to it 🙂

    Lizza: an antidote could prove fortuitous in those situations where condoms are not available and alcohol is flowing like the mississippi * sigh* this is probably going to result in DaddyP accusing me of not being romantic again but I remain a health professional at heart and HIV is prevalent in SE Asia.

    ps (the “doctor” in question had neither facial hair nor tattoos, I substituted my own weaknesses there to disguise ninnynurse’s identity)

  16.’re so so funny as usual. Where did you get all those inspirations?? Certainly not from this Grimcrack Hospital!! If so..there must be a whole bunch of cracks and patients must be having a ball of a time. Hmmmm…. And glad you are back.



  17. hi Franco, you’re quite correct as this little adventure happened well away from the gimcrack’s gates

  18. Candida yeast infection . . . hmmmm. Adds new meaning to the old Tony Orlando and Dawn hit of the same name . . . .

  19. sans the phrase ‘yeast infection,’ of course

  20. every time I ponder your cd collection I’m torn between curiosity and fear….

  21. That’s exactly the song that went through my head whenever I would triage an Itchy-Fishy call

    However, it’s better than one call I took for the emergency department where some mother named her poor child Chlamydia

    I don’t think she had a clue…but I laughed my ass off for a week

  22. triage for a yeast infection??? I hope she went to the bottom of the list

    and I thought the baby named Chlamydia was an urban myth. it’s much worse than being named Chenille like one of our past patients

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