keep away from lewd women

nursemyra has discovered the 1917 teachings of Major Moss of the United States Army. he had a most curious way of referring to the clap as a plant.

A syphilitic person in always dangerous although apparent well. He often has a sore mouth and his spit is as dangerous as that of a mad dog. The bite of such a man will develop a chancre and any pipe, cup, or tooth pick which he uses, or his kiss, will give syphilis.

The clap plant likes to grow in the linings of the openings of the body where it is dark and warm and moist where it causes a catarrhal discharge called Clap, which is easily smeared on hands, towels, handkerchiefs or by actual contact.

It grows well in the eyelids, causing great damage and often blindness. Many babies get the clap plant into the eyes during birth, from the mother, and unless treated within a few minutes after birth, have sore eyes and go blind, a terrible calamity to the child

The clap plant also grows well in the cavities of the joints, causing rheumatism and crippling; it grows in the heart, sassing valvular heart disease, which is incurable, and also in the generative organs of men and women, causing self made eunuchs and childless wives.

When a young man is “sowing his wild oats” he is really planting in his own body the syphilis and clap plants, and the harm will be greater than any other crop. He will reap it in days of bed ridden misery, and possible sudden death. Ho will reap it in bitter hours by the bedside through the illness and death of his wife or in her long years of ill health. He will reap it in little white coffins, idiot babies. blind, deaf and dumb, sickly and stunted children.

The best way to avoid venereal diseases is to keep away from lewd women, and live a clean moral life. It is said by medical authorities that sexual intercourse is not necessary to preserve health and manly vigor, and that the natural sexual impulse can be kept under control by avoiding associations, conversations, and thoughts of a lewd character.

Seek good companions like your mother and sister. Keep away from John Barleycorn. He always wants to turn you over to a harlot.

nursemyra’s advice for today? beware of letting naked women bearing plants anywhere near your manhood…..

Published in: on September 25, 2007 at 7:55 am  Comments (8)  

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8 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I can’t stop laughing…

  2. Thank goodness I have decided to become a virgin!!!
    Sound advice as ever lol!

  3. Looks like I’d better renew my subscription to Better Homes and STD’s.

    Also, if I was ridiculously rich, I’d have a penis hallway built, just like the one in that picture.

  4. Sounds like he is advocating incest at one point…poor man – perhaps it was shell shock.

  5. I had thoughts of a lewd character once – Benny Hill – – –

  6. Speaking of Benny Hill, I am convinced Daddy Papersurfer was in the cast of that show!

  7. Penfold will be handed this advice as soon as he reaches sexual maturity.
    Archie – what on earth gave you that idea? Everyone was really silly on Benny Hill. I am a font.

  8. I am a keen explorer of the female foliage, and have only stumpled upon the Clap Plant once.

    The Herpes Flower, however, has been far more common.

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