knock knock who’s there?


one of our patients smokes a pipe. like the cigarette addicted, he has to go outside to indulge his habit or he risks setting off the fire alarm. today he decided to chance it by hanging his head out the window and sneaking a puff, but he dropped the pipe and the jig was up.

puffing billy was firmly chastised by the DON for this breach of OH & S regulations but somehow I don’t think an oral scolding will be sufficient. I’ve been looking around for an appropriate retaliation response to someone who continually flouts the no smoking rule and this ad has given me an idea


if he’s disobedient again nursemyra could use the opportunity to practise piercing. I like to think I’m good with a needle, extracting blood or administering insulin is a breeze for a woman of my capabilities but I’d like to try something a little more difficult like installing a prince albert.

there’s an interesting variation on this run of the mill piercing. it can be dressed up with a Doorknocker Wand also affectionately known as a penis plug. I’ll be studying the instructions but knowing billy’s fear of needles, this could be just the incentive he needs to give up his pipe…..


Published in: on November 22, 2007 at 9:41 am  Comments (7)  

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7 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Pipe Appeal? That sounds sexual. Cheers!!

  2. Hmm… so that’s what I need to win the heart of a woman: smoke a pipe and take her to a rifle range. Is there nothing old tobacco advertisements can’t teach us?

  3. I have to ask….. the doorknocker wand….. WHY on earth???

  4. omg argh etc

  5. why would someone want a doorknocker wand? well, it is for sale on a site called “painful pleasures…..”

    best not go there 70s 🙂

  6. installing a prince albert
    I sell cigars and pipe tobacco for a living and that’s a new one on me, a very funny new one.
    As far as tobacco goes, yeah, these folks are seriously addicted.
    But Prince Albert? Yoiks!

  7. you sell cigars and pipe tobacco? do you sometimes pretend you’re a lawyer or a car salesman just to get people to like you?

    (just kidding, really, I’m just kidding….. 🙂

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