revealing the scar on friday

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I was feeling a little spanish this morning as my good friend Angus was meeting my blogfriend Azahar for tapas in sevilla so I’m wearing my ole skirt to commemorate the occasion. wish I were there too

the fringing on the skirt does cover everything when I’m at work, but I hiked it up a little for the photos to reveal a long thin scar on my hip of which I am  very fond.

 I’d love to say I got it fighting off a shark but that wouldn’t be true…

 

Published in: on December 14, 2007 at 7:24 am  Comments (14)  

snail salvation

it’s summer in sydney but we’ve had a few freak rainstorms recently and nursemyra noticed a rout of snails have appeared in the gimcrack’s garden. I’ve been trying to save money on our pharmaceuticals budget so this could actually prove to be quite a windfall

Snails must be prepared in an uneven number. Those who spit up blood feel much better if they drink snails. Eating snails was prescribed for individuals suffering from vertigo, fainting fits, and fits of madness. The snails should be crushed in the shell and heated with wine’

George Tarenne, in 1808, published a book on snails and their ability to cure hernias Speaking of snail juice, Tarenne indicated that ‘its viscosity, its contraction or astringent strength, and its capability for reproduction allowed me immediately to suppose that it would close hernia openings’

as most of our patients are wrinkled, scarred and warty, I was also delighted to find this information

The studies have verified that the dribble of snail allows to prevent and to eliminate wrinkles, to attenuate grooves, to eliminate scars caused for wounded and burns of first degree, to remove the acne, to clean spots produced by the sun. It has also demonstrated to be effective to eliminate warts of the skin.

I am however a little concerned about preparing these medical treatments myself. without an exact recipe there’s always the danger of overdose. perhaps the best way to utilise my slow moving friends would be to enlist the advice of an experienced producer like Mr. Pablo Gonzalez

Being the raising of snails our principal target we have split our production in the elaboration of high quality slime

I’ve been inspecting them carefully, and their syrupy slime seems to be of very high quality, and perfectly tolerable for our less than saintly patients
snail syrup, which was usually prescribed for scrofula or tuberculosis, was given to Saint Therese and she tolerated it well  provided the horns*** were not visible

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* many thanks to my good friend Martino who helped me source this david lachapelle image

*** nursemyra is not bothered by the horns, anything with an erection looks good to me. and if you’re at all interested in snail sex you can see a picture of TWO pairs of snails going at it hot and heavy over here

Published in: on December 13, 2007 at 11:20 am  Comments (17)  

party corset friday

there seem to be some readers who are confused about fridays. the last friday of the month is t-shirt friday. all the other fridays are corset friday. the gimcrack is having its staff christmas party tonight and nursemyra is in the pink…..

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due to my lack of photographic skills, this shot is a little blurry and doesn’t really do the corset justice. it’s teamed with a sheer pink top and deep burgundy silk pants. hopefully if I spill my wine at the party it will only splash on the pants…..

Published in: on December 7, 2007 at 7:12 am  Comments (15)  

the well shod nurse

nursemyra saves the heels for discipline special occasions. having seen the horrible state of most of our patients’ feet, I am determined to look after mine for as long as possible.

our obliging employer provides gimcrack nurses with rubber overshoes to protect their footwear when assisting with showers. they’re a little more hi-tech than these “rain dears” but they don’t have the cute little bow unfortunately

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click on image to enlarge

we’re on our feet a lot so we like hard wearing shoes. it’s good to know that there’s a company out there who understands the needs of a nurse and performs rigorous testing of their products to ensure they are suitable for us

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click on image to enlarge

if you spend a lot of your working hours standing and walking, you might like to try some reflexology. perhaps a partner or good friend could incorporate a foot massage into other activities you enjoy together

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if you have painful feet they can be relieved by elevation. change into comfortable clothes and lie back on the floor with your bottom against a wall and your legs upright.

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I also recommend using moisturiser on your heels. it doesn’t have to be fancy, sorbolene works just as well as a more expensive brand. ill-informed patients have suggested to nursemyra that semen works well as a foot moisturiser, but don’t be taken in by urban legends. extensive studies have completely refuted this theory.

 

Published in: on December 5, 2007 at 6:53 am  Comments (10)  

ithyphallic

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Published in: on December 4, 2007 at 7:04 am  Comments (16)  

oriental nursing

nursemyra admires many japanese art forms, particularly netsuke, examples of which I have posted here and here. If you’re new to the gimcrack, these links are well worth clicking

and japanese nurses seem to get up to sexual hijinks just like the gimcrack’s as evidenced here and below

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but I wouldn’t want you to think my admiration for my oriental colleagues is restricted to their erotic encounters so here are some beautiful images of a slightly more innocent nurse I found at Mabaroshi Cafe

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Published in: on December 2, 2007 at 8:03 am  Comments (10)  

word of the day: anaphrodisiac

concerned as she is about her patients’ sexual health, nursemyra has been researching natural ways to avoid loss of libido.that is why I turned to the house of strauss to investigate anaphrodisiacs.

Soda water is a sexual depressant. One’s way of life also affects one’s sexual capacity. Silk clothing enfeebles the erectile powers by engendering and then dissipating bodily warmth. Most man-made fabrics are harmful for the same reason. There is no substitute for cotton and woollen clothing for preserving one’s sexual ability. The tight pants of youthful fashion which exert a constant pressure on the crotch reduce potency.

 The same applies to sitting for long periods, and riding, especially horse riding. Hippocrates wrote that the Scythians had great difficulty in erecting as a result of long periods spent in the saddle, and so the Scythian race died out.

Any excess of eating, drinking, sleeping or exercise can also produce an Anaphrodisiac effect. One exception is walking, best done at a moderate pace. Walking is supposed to have a wonderful effect on the vitalic plexus at the crotch, which sitting interferes with. Anyone wishing to reduce his potency should avoid walking.

All ascetic practices, especially prolonged abstinence and disuse of the sexual apparatus, erode erotic potency. Worry, fear and anxiety actively inhibit desire. So does brainwork, especially mathematics, which is highly detrimental to the amorous instinct.

happily, most of this advice appears to be aimed at the male of the species. it’s just as well as nursemyra has no intention of giving up wearing tight pants or curtailing her long hours in the saddle.

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Published in: on December 1, 2007 at 8:49 am  Comments (16)