the girl with colitis goes by *

nursemyra’s nickname is Dr. Know. I earned it because I know every nook and cranny of the gimcrack and can name all 126 patients and their various ailments. that’s only the tip of the iceberg. my brain is full of shit interesting stuff and if I’m asked a work related question am rarely lost for an answer.

though I was momentarily speechless today when a colleague said “I always come to you when I need something done. you’re such a suppository of information.”


want to play a little game? leave ONE example of either a mondegreen or a malapropism in the comments section and the best one gets a fridge magnet from the australian national continence helpline (I know you want one)

* mondegreen

Published in: on February 13, 2008 at 6:57 am  Comments (35)  

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35 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Richard Lederer would be proud.

    I’m fond of a line from that old Louis Armstrong favourite: …the bright blessed day, the dogs say goodnight…

    (Incidentally, maybe your colleague was referring to the fact that you explain things so well, everybody gets it in the end)

    First Prize winner

  2. I would cross the continence to meet the fridge magnate, but maybe he’d think I was being inmalappropriate. Nevertheless, I wish you’d give out their number. They sound like a streak of laughs.

  3. it’d be funny if it weren’t so sad. oh, and he really said it…

    “We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.”

    George W. Bush

  4. This is pretty funny, but even more so after I just read this post!

  5. Oh, the title! Yeah, the Beatles song!

    “Lucy and This Guy are Dying …”

    Runner Up

  6. Just this morning on one of my elists, someone said “Leslie, could you resent this information because the link didn’t come through” .

    Why yes, I think I resemble that remark, too.

  7. You’re not worried that all this competing for the fridge magnate might create a little dysentery among the ranks? I hope ian won’t be prostate with grief if he doesn’t win …

  8. Here’s one from the original Mrs. Malaprop: “She is as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of the Nile.”

    Gail, this one was a winner, I LOVE it. I had to stick to the rules unfortunately, but you can still get a prize (see below)

  9. A woman at work says, “Cut off your nose despite your face.”

  10. Oh my mind is blank…. all I can think of of (which are in neither category) are 2 things that used to have me snickering as a teen that my mum would say in all innocence

    ‘I think I will have it off with Bill this afternoon ‘ (meaning she would half a days leave to go out with her partner)
    ‘You can’t beat a good ham shank!’ (meaning a cut of meat on the bone hee hee )

  11. singing……..

    “blinded by the light! revved up like a douche, another runner in the night!”

    by the way Clay from my blog wanted you to know that he continues to act up and needs to be spanked by you at the Gimcrack.

    I am only the messenger. they are his words and thoughts.

  12. I have a friend named Burrel who is in his mid-sventies. He is an ex-newspaperman and still writes a humor column for a local senior citizen newspaper. Although he is an Okie, he is quite articulate except for his frequent malapropisms. My favorite was one morning at the coffee shop when one of the other imbibers accidentally expressed a political opinion that he absolutely did not mean.

    “Well,’ said Burrell, ‘that sounds to me like a fraudulent slip”

    Burrel’s homespum humor can be found here:

  13. I led the pidgeons to the flag
    of the united states of america
    And to the republic where witches’ stand
    One nation under guard invisible
    With liverty and just us four, all

  14. And “round young virgin” in Silent Night.

  15. Do you also know every nook and cranny of all Gimcrack’s patients, my dear Nurse?

  16. I heard that girl with colitis line before… some stand-up comic had a bit about misheard lyrics. Can’t remember who he was.

    I remember a clip from the Howard Stern radio show where one of his people was talking about a cooking recipe and actually said “and you serenade the meat” instead of marinade.

  17. There was that famous Go Gos’ song ‘Alex the Seal’…

  18. hahaha. but the malapropism I’ve been trying to remember, and the one I hoped you’d mention, involves the word “auger”…..

  19. I have my brain stuck permanently on the pun channel, so am incapable of coming up with an original Miss Malaprop. But speaking of misheard lyrics, do check out:
    Kiss this Guy a website dedicated entirely to lyrics you thought you knew, but didn’t. You’ll probably recognise right away that ‘Scuze me while I kiss this guy as a widespread misinterpretation of a Hendrix lyric: …while I kiss the sky.

    And so: who gets that fridge magnet?

  20. ooh Ian, I didn’t know you were so keen for a fridge magnet. I was going to leave the competition open for a little longer but you’ve forced my hand.

    it was very very difficult to pick a winner from all the great submissions. After much deliberation, I’d narrowed it down to three but had to eliminate Gail because she entered more than once. rules is rules.

    drum role: runner up is Ghosty for “Lucy and This Guy are Dying”

    double drum role: the winner is Kyknoord for “the bright blessed day, the dogs say goodnight”

    BUT….. there are NO losers at the gimcrack.everyone who entered is eligible for a prize if they send their snail mail address to nurse myra

  21. I dunno. This doesn’t all go well…

  22. After listening to the Christmas song “We Three Kings,” our son asked,
    What’s the third king’s name?
    What do you mean, we said.
    There’s Orrie and Tom. Who’s the third king?

  23. Apologies, late as ususal!
    From work colleagues of xmas past:
    “Let’s nip this one in the butt”
    “That’s a mute point”
    “You are so fascist” (meant facaecious)
    “What a bunch of pedaphiles” (meant neophytes)
    Oh Dear!

  24. RaJ: when my youngest son was at kindergarten he told me about a new child he had made friends with. he said his name was “One Seven Dwarf”. I asked the teacher who the new child was and she replied “Juan Salvador”

    Beaverboosh: oh dear is right! but you’re still in line for a prize if you want to send your snail mail address 🙂

  25. the post title stopped me.
    I thought I was the only one in the world that verbally changed that Beatle lyric.
    You are an interesting one, NM . . . :mrgreen:

  26. malapropism squared!
    “What a bunch of pedaphiles” (meant Philistine’s)
    Aplogies, the doctor has recently changed my medication!

  27. and how’s that working for you 🙂

  28. Ok so far but am suffering from vowel droppings in aplogies!

  29. you are a “suppository of information” – I am definitely going to use that one – I love it.

  30. it’s all yours genki gal xx

  31. I know I’m late for the contest, but I have some misheard lyrics to offer. I had a friend whose father was horrified that Depeche Mode had a song called “I Just Can’t Get It Up.”

  32. you mean that’s not the lyrics? no wonder I get strange looks when I sing that song at karaoke….

  33. I used to teach school and once had a student bring me a note from his mother that said…

    “Teremy was not at school yesterday because he was sick. Please accuse him.”

  34. Teremy? Teremy? I’m too busy laughing at the name to get to the malapropism 🙂

    (do you have a blog atticus?)

  35. […] the use of condoms as an important part of healthy sexual practices. some time ago I ran a little competition for the best mondegreen or malapropism, now I think it’s time for another […]

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