size queen (dear nursemyra part 2)

nursemyra often receives emails from readers who think she is qualified to dispense medical advice. when “anonymous” asked me this question, I thought I’d throw it open to my readers. daisyfae, fracas and upsetwaitress probably have as much expertise in these matters as nursemyra.

“do women secretly think penises are ugly?” well “anonymous”, I can’t speak for these women but the answer from nursemyra is a definite “No!”


in order to provide a balanced view I consulted another professional who has done extensive research in this area to see what he had to say. while most of Ed’s site is devoted to the question of size, he does touch on penis aesthetics:


Women say the looks are determined by the looks of the whole package:

  • the proportions, i.e. the size of the testicles versus the penis
  • the way it hangs when flaccid and stands when erect
  • the curve of the penis
  • the penis shape
  • the color, texture and evenness of the skin
  • the penis’ muscularity (veins)
  • the way the testicles are attached to the penis
  • the way the whole thing is attached to your body


but what I find even more interesting is the discussion of female sizing and the bias against women whose pussy lips are too small.


in nursemyra’s opinion, the female fruit is always delicious, but no one likes a mushy banana

Published in: on February 19, 2008 at 6:50 am  Comments (26)  

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26 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Food for thought, indeed

  2. yes whole package for me please ;-)…..

    fascinating ‘lip’ research I wonder if he really got down to it or just played it lip service?

  3. I have a question…Do tiny, sexy women like those in the picture exist? If so, where might I find them? Cheers!!

  4. the way the whole thing is attached to your body

    Personally I try to avoid unsightly methods of attachment like paper clips and staples. It looks cheap.

    Do tiny, sexy women like those in the picture exist?

    Yes. They’re called Femlins.

  5. Mushy bananas, like mudflap hoo-haws, also tend to reek horribly.

  6. i don’t know how women stand the looks of men at all….we are all lumpy and strange things happen when we are given certain looks…women on the other hand are all smooth and yummy and curvy and beautiful!

    yeah, strange things happen. that’s the part I like 🙂

  7. Another great morning chuckle, nm!

    Old Cloots, I agree. Paper clips and staples are teh suck!

  8. Of course there are ugly penises, but I can tell if a man has an attractive juicy cock by looking at the back of his neck. It’s true.

  9. You might find this interesting.

    did you find that on flickr? It’s also on the website I linked to

  10. There was a Priest, a dirty beast, his name was Alexander. He had a dong 12 inches long – and called it “his commander”.

  11. I don’t even like looking at my own. If it wasn’t attached, (mine is attached with drywall screws by the way), I wouldn’t be in the same room with it, except for those rare occasions when we have company.

    NurseMyra is correct, as well. The female fruit is always sweeter!

  12. I don’t know why but I keep thinking of trying to stuff a marshmallow into a money-box.

  13. a melted marshmallow daddyp?

  14. “secretly think penises are ugly” – can’t speak for all women, but i’m with nursemyra on this one! in fact, i find them fascinating – and am one of those odd sorts who could probably pick one out of a line up if necessary.

    but, without a doubt, the female form is much more aesthetically pleasing. just like fast cars, there ain’t a straight line on a woman, and men tend to be angular and pointy and stuff.

    regarding the fruit analogy, i’m a bit vexed, though. the more ripe the banana the sweeter it becomes – until that inflection point where it goes quickly to shit. is this why i tend to attach to older men?

  15. This is sort of like when I get emails about how to deal with kidney problems. And I answer in pretty much the same way, with pictures of genitalia.

  16. Very true. A woman once told me she fell in love with a man’s penis. He spoiled things by trying to kiss her when she only had eyes for his cock.

  17. I believe my marvellous member fully satisfies all the criteria listed, and therefore should probably be mounted and put on display in a gallery or something.

    Or just mounted, full stop.

  18. Damnit, I still want to know why all the cool women are lesbians!

  19. He spoiled things by trying to kiss her when she only had eyes for his cock.

    What a cock-eyed bitch…

  20. If the cool women are lesbians, then what about the hot women?

    Fried banana is never mushy by the way… if that helps

  21. Okay one thing, the term ‘juicy cock’ still mystifies me to this day. There has got to be some sort of infection if its ‘juicy’.

    As to the way the balls hang I just had a flashback to the ‘dick balls dick’ bloke from a ‘movie’ I saw once… wonder if this will work

    _________ ___
    (_________ ___
    ( )

    Does that picture make sense, anyway it was one of the wierdest arrangements any of the people watching had ever seen.

    But yes the female selection is far more appealing than the old slug.

  22. nope the picture didnt turn out…

  23. that’s a shame Alex. I’m more than a little curious now…

  24. Actually, I found it a few days ago on Reddit… And Dig.

    do you consult those sites regularly? I’ve not visited them yet and only very recently checked out stumbleupon for the first time. sometimes I feel like I blog in a vacuum

  25. NM,
    As you know, my project to have a second penis installed was overturned by Mrs BB before the design phase was complete. I suggest we run a ‘design a clasper’ competition. We could then send it out to focus groups for testing to determine the winning design! I’ll have my secretary contact the appropraite agencies for a prelimiary briefing. It could be really big!

  26. Judging from the fact that often, male porn actors are not exactly a whole lot of competition for the Johnny Depps of the world, I’d have to deduce that a woman is able to overlook facial beauty as long as his penis has appeal.

    Seriously. Haven’t we all wondered how some of the more *ahem* facially challenged men out there have landed a looker? Old school thinking might have had us believing it was all about love, but nope… I bet it’s because they have a nice looking penis.

    Does that answer anonymous’ question?

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