talk turkey to me


we’re going a little off track here today. no gimcrack news so the fallback topic du jour is turkey sex. you may already be familiar with the results of Schein and Hale’s experiment.

While researching the sexual behaviour of turkeys, Schein and Hale discovered that male members of that species truly are not fussy. When placed in a room with a lifelike model of a female turkey, the birds mated with it as eagerly as they would the real thing.

Intrigued by this observation, Schein and Hale embarked on a series of experiments to determine the minimum stimulus it takes to excite a male turkey. This involved removing parts from the turkey model one by one until the male bird eventually lost interest.


Tail, feet and wings – Schein and Hale removed them all, but still the clueless bird waddled up to the model, let out an amorous gobble, and tried to do his thing. Finally, only a head on a stick remained. The male turkey was still keen. In fact, it preferred a head on a stick to a headless body.


female turkeys, like their human counterparts, are fussier than males.

When the tom turkey gets close enough, you’ve got to change your turkey call to a purr It’s not so much the pitch as it is the rhythm.

But apparently the single most attractive feature to females is not a male’s power suit or macho strut but his snood–a fleshy appendage above his beak that can stretch to twice its ordinary length during courtship.


ah yes, nothing quite like a lengthy fleshy snood………

Published in: on March 10, 2008 at 7:43 am  Comments (20)  

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20 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I have come across a few blokes over the years that demonstrate exact turkey tendencies (‘as long as she has a pulse’ selection technique)…. can’t vouch, however, for their snood extensions as I am a fussy turkey !!!

  2. Well who doesnt love a good bit of snood.

  3. A head on a stick? It’s good to know Calista Flockhart has found work again.

  4. Are we talking about Pinocchio-style nasal erection here?

  5. Gobble gobble.

  6. A head on a stick. Well, that certainly explains Kate Moss’ popularity.

    And I typed that before I even scrolled up and read kyknoord’s post. Great minds (or diseased minds) think alike . . . .

  7. I think you mean great diseased minds πŸ™‚

  8. Quite possibly so – that could explain the spongiform diagnosis . . . .

  9. Head on a stick?
    Sounds like a new-fangled summertime frozen confection served up by the Good Humour guy. Yikes.
    And thank God Thanksgiving isn’t for another 8 months.
    I’ll never look at a turkey the same way again.
    Freaky boids . . .

  10. I think that poor woman is about to get goosed!

  11. Head on a Stick? That’s it?!?! Screw the squats, lunges and other ass-hardening work at the gym.

    A few years on the supermodel diet of cigarettes and heroin and I’m there….

  12. but you might not survive a few years of cigarettes and heroin. just fluff your hair up and wear a corset. works for me πŸ™‚

  13. As long as there’s a place to jam home the stuffing, that’s all we need.

  14. Does it matter how big the stick is ……?

  15. If you are really quiet, you can watch a turkey get it on with a pine tree stump. It’s not as weird as it sounds.

  16. Brilliant! I’m in The Trailer Park for a couple days – should have no trouble getting some big ol’ hair!

  17. I’m wearing a corset and fluffed my hair [in various locations] ……. waiting …………….. still waiting ……………*snore*

  18. but what are you waiting for daddyp? you want to be stuffed by a turkey? does TG know?

  19. “It’s not as weird as it sounds.”

    Which part, uw? πŸ˜‰

  20. I think she was talking about the :really quiet” part

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