radiate as directed

back in the thirties people believed radium was good for your health. it was added to water, bread and toothpaste. some hardy souls were even persuaded to stick it up their rectum.

they were probably the same people who thought wearing a radiendocrinator would also be a good idea.

It was intended to be placed over the endocrine glands, “which have so masterful a control over life and bodily health.” As one example of its use, men were advised as follows:

place Radiendocrinator in the pocket of this adaptor with the window upward towards the body. wear adaptor like any athletic strap. this puts the unit under the scrotum as it should be. wear at night and radiate as directed.


image and information sourced here

Published in: on March 16, 2008 at 9:25 am  Comments (22)  

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22 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Ah ha so that’s were the phrase “positively glowing with health” originates…

  2. Or “he’s so full of himself that he thinks light shines out of his ass”.

    A friend of mine once told me that when she was a kid shoe shops used to x-ray children’s feet – in the shop, with no protection. Something to do with ‘ensuring a proper fit’. Yikes!

  3. Yes, I can remember those foot x-ray thingies – when we came down to the city my brother and I would go into Boans Department Store (The most modern in Perth) and we could look at the bones in our feet while we got our school shoes for the next year. I wonder about the shoe sales people’s later health!

  4. True enough, Archie. At least the kids were only subjected to the rays for a moment – those salesclerks would have had it all day long. The mind reels…

  5. Shame they didn’t list the side effects (in the same manner of erectile dysfunction meds): In case of erection glowing for more than 4 hours, please notify your doctor.

    On the bright side? The gents using this could read in the dark without a nightlight!

  6. Ha! Stick this nuclear nugget up your ass and don’t call me in the morning.

  7. Are there any other elements that we should or shouldn’t be putting under our scrotums? Like Nursemyrium?

  8. Hi nursem,
    I’ve added your blog to my blogroll because it’s the first time I’ve had the opportunity to click on a link titled “rectum.” I worked for three years in assisted living…oh the stories.

  9. Hey Ian, welcome to the gimcrack. let me introduce you to the other inmates…. Ian is the brainiac who got 5/5 on archie’s BBC quiz of the week…..

    love a man with brains, don’t we gals?

  10. Under the scrotum? Someone likes their nuts dry roasted. I think the rectum is a better idea, sterilized shit could be used as plasticine.

  11. Some more quack stuff for y-all. Last one is “revigator”.
    “The revigator was a ceramic jar that contained a low level of radioactivity that was imparted to water held overnight to be consumed the next morning.”

    can’t say I fancy the electric bath

  12. These are the best comments ever! what a crew!

  13. “back in the thirties people believed radium was good for your health.”

    Of course it must be noted that this was just before the advent of BRAINS.

    Stupid big bastards…

  14. I would NOT put that thing anywhere near my scrotum thank you very much! Who was the genius who thought this was a good idea?

    By the way, I’m back baby!!!

  15. Wait wait wait… its bad to radiate your testicles… oh so now you tell me.

  16. Radium up the rectum? Holy atomic piles, Batman!

  17. But radium in toothpaste is still ok, yeah?

  18. oh of course. what are you using that toothpaste for by the way?

  19. Is the Radiendocrinator related in any way to the Terminator? It looks a lot like a pocket-sized version of the Necronomicon, actually.

  20. I think it would terminate your testicles. well not YOURS but you know what I mean.

  21. Oh, I have testicles. Jars and jars of them.

  22. are they terminated?

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