sperm storage solutions

more from the delightful “The Story of V” by Catherine Blackledge

different species have different ways of storing sperm. the female dunnock, a small drab brown bird that routinely mates up to 20 times a day, has a phenomenal capacity, packing up to 500 sperm in each of her 1400 sperm storage tubules. in some insects, flexibility is the key, the female walking cricket is so elastic it can expand to accommodate over 30 ejaculates.

male ticks and mites produce a sperm packet which they must persuade females to accept. the only way to do this is by inserting his mouth into the female’s vagina, sometimes rubbing in, out and around for hours at a time. only after a lot of stimulation, is she ready to accept his package.

female sheep are phenomenally sexually active, a Scottish Soay ewe mated an amazing 163 times with 7 different rams in the space of 5 hours. many males can’t keep up and run out of sperm before the end of mating season. in the primate world, female rhesus macaques enjoy so many copulations that they experience vaginal overflow of sperm.

several months ago 70s sent me these images from an asian sperm bank. I thought they already had a population explosion in that part of the world. I wonder if they’re using their excess to top up the poor depleted Scots…..

 

Published in: on May 14, 2008 at 8:39 am  Comments (28)  

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28 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Wearing face masks is a bit optimistic – show offs!

  2. I think they’re wearing masks for the same reason bank robbers do.

  3. Bank robbers – in a sperm bank???

    “This is a stick-up!”

  4. *smirk*

  5. That’s one hell of a happy ending!

  6. the sperm bank shots* are impressive. technicians lending a hand rather than self-jackage? it would be more fun if the men were on a conveyor belt…

    *tee hee

  7. still *smirking*

  8. “…hours at a time. only after a lot of stimulation, is she ready to accept his package…”

    [sigh] The story of my life–I need hours to get her ready when I only need minutes after she is.

  9. Wow. Asians have super small wee wees. The bators, what do you suppose their job title is?

  10. Somebody who worked on a farm once told me that rams are at it so much their balls actually shrink through the season, being like oranges in spring and shrivelled acorns by end of summer. Cannot check this as I don’t want the missus to think I have been cruising the net for gay sheep porn. Again.

  11. xoggoth, you are really cracking me up. your poor wife 🙂

  12. Those asian sperm banks are actually collecting gizzim for my new facial range called Cum Clean.

    Actually, when I was a young ‘un, I once tabled an idea in a Junior Counsel Meeting that we could raise money by getting our hot counsellors to donate at their local sperm bank. At 200 buck a deposit we reckoned we could make a killing. Or at least pay for the next booze fueled annual ball. My suggestion was not accepted. Spoil sports.

    Dolce, you are EVIL

  13. There’s a fine line sometimes between erotic and disgusting; this one is leaning heavily toward the disgusting (for me).

    I’m with upset waitress. Looking at those Asian sperm bank photos made me think the photos were taken in the room for the underdeveloped males. Perhaps that’s why they require assistance? For me, I would be looking for the room where the attendants use two hands.

  14. It has to a made up photo. Nice to have free “extras” but lying on your back on a trolley in a lab in a white gown and a mask in presence of rows of other blokes is so unerotic I am surprised anyone managed to get it up at all. I have had more fun with the garden fence.

  15. “Wow. Asians have super small wee wees. The bators, what do you suppose their job title is?”

    Masters?

  16. Wow, females in the animal world are real whores!

    I don’t think my last girlfriend had sperm storage tubules. She just used to spit.

  17. There must be a lot of Asian men making free sperm donations.

  18. I wish to correct any impression I may have given above that I have had carnal relations with my garden fence.

  19. Xoggoth, thank god! I was going to rush home and bone the fence to see what I was missing. I suspected it was only splinters, but I’ve been in a decided dryspell lately and any port in the storm.

  20. xoggoth… mmm I think you doth protest too much !!! Lol

    It has to be real, if not the porn films in that part of the world are pretty way out???

    [thank you for the link dear NM]

  21. Uncle keith, I can see I’m going to have to hold another competition soon. your comments are rivalling renalfailure’s now

    http://renalfailure.wordpress.com/

    70s, I’ve been waiting for ages for the perfect moment to unveil your gift 🙂

  22. Those photos remind me of that really awful Don Johnson movie, A Boy and his Dog, and the scene where the religious cult traps his character and milks him for sperm, which reminds me of the stories that Rob tells me about the Hutterites (who have a community near by) who are said to lure young men in to make “donations” to alleviate some of the inbreeding damage which in turn reminds me of the scene in The Handmaid’s Tale where the old dude impregnates the surrogate while the wife sorta joins them.

    Ick. I need a spoon to double scoop my mind’s eye out.

    annie, I hadn’t heard of this film and had to look it up on imdb. sounds delightfully B grade

  23. If your fetish is girls in white hats, then this is the sperm bank for you.

    And I’m guessing they just wring out the gloves into a paper cup upon completion, because I don’t see any of them with a proper sperm container by their worktables.

  24. You’ve go to be kidding me. LOL! Is that sperm bank thing real? It’s so off the wall that I wouldn’t shocked if it were the real thing. A few women I’ve met in my day seem to be bigger sperm banks than the animals described here.

  25. Dear Sir, Madam, Alien Life Form

    We are an emissary from Onelongminute.com who has been dispatched to find out if there is other intelligent life in the blogosphere.

    Jesus Christ in a matchbox… you have know idea who long it took me to find out that there is. Do you know how many dumbo’s, la-hooo-sa-hers and generally brain dead people there are out there? I waded through over a gazillion blogs about colonic irrigation and weight loss; the fine art of DIY and mango pips, oh noetry more bad poetry, and useless opinion in order to find yours. I think if I read one more emo wrist gnawing diatribe I might just have slit mine.

    Anyway. Here I am. There is intelligent life out there after all.

    The years in the cyber wilderness have been worth it!

    My message is that the fine folk at http://www.onelongminute.com would be bowled over if you would do them the pleasure of signing up, logging in and doing a guest column.

    Bow. Bow. Scrape. Scrape. Grovel. Grovel.

    The (rather exhausted) emissary from onelongminute.com,

    Ms. Frankly Wrankles.

  26. For the record. I double post at onelongminute.com too. A flamed paradise of misfits and freakos. If you can ignore the aging grannies and sad emos we’ve picked up along the way.

    Come and play. Please do.

  27. But honey, I wore a surgical mask so it wasn’t really a handjob and I wasn’t really cheating…

  28. Abbadon, you are totally evil 🙂


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