slippery when wet

nursemyra is a big fan of lube. when S was alive one of my favourite things to do was lube up my breasts and slide his cock between them. I think lubricants can enhance sex in so many ways and it surprises me to read of the vaginal practices in Indonesia where “dry sex” is something to be aspired to.

These are rooted in a widespread belief that “tight sex” or “dry sex”-vaginal intercourse without any or with minimal lubrication in the vagina-is more pleasurable for men.

The widespread use of traditional and modern products to dry the vagina is a growing concern. The traditional preparations are called jamu and are sold throughout the nation, either as raw products in the market, or in commercially manufactured packets sold in supermarkets. Jamu is a combination of herbs in the form of fresh or dried leaves, seeds, roots, or bark, often crushed into powder and prepared with hot water, honey, and lime juice.

Many Indonesian women learn and adopt new or more elaborate vaginal practices at marriage when a bride is prepared for the nuptials by a professional wedding dresser. There is no standard way of preparation, but jamu is typically used to reduce “excessive” secretions.

 At a beauty salon or spa, the bride might have her vagina “smoked,” by sitting on a chair with a hole in the middle over a charcoal fire on which special herbs are placed to create a fragrant steam.

Because of the common belief that men’s sexual pleasure relies on friction, women are often anxious about having an “excessively moist” vagina. The most recent innovation of jamu products is Tongkat Madura, a calcium carbonate rod about 15 cm in length and 3 cm wide that is inserted into the vagina to absorb fluid and then rinsed and reused. The goal is heightened sexual pleasure achieved through “tight” or “dry sex.” Throughout Indonesia , many women and men believe that the tightness associated with unlubricated sex can increase pleasure for men by providing maximum friction between the vagina and the penis.

I’m really interested in men’s comments about this practice. I would imagine dry sex to be painful for a woman. wouldn’t it also cause chafing in a man?


Published in: on May 15, 2008 at 8:36 am  Comments (35)  

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35 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. It’s the slippery slope, spiralling down to pain and anguish ……….. some people are terribly odd, don’t you know

  2. oooh…. is that the pot calling the kettle black?

  3. Indeed it does – I do not see the attraction at all! That is why foreplay needs to go past the “Have a beer, Luv” level.

  4. I don’t understand that. We ageing couples know a bit about these things and dry sex is no fun for us blokes either, it gets sorta stuck and just pulls everything in and out.

  5. On that “daintiness” bit, such female products should be banned as they taste horrible. Womens’ bits should smell and taste of women’s bits not a pharmacy store room.

    Apparently Napoleon was a great fan of the natural woman, after one of his campaigns he sent a message to Josephine, “my darling, I will be home in two weeks, do not wash” Clearly a very sound chap apart from the conquering Europe stuff.

  6. Errr… I like my sex wet. Dry doesn’t feel nearly as good. Indonesians must love to hump their beaches… I wouldn’t want to find out.

  7. i use a different term for “dry sex” – it’s called “gravel pussy” and is avoided like the plague between my sheets. lubes – flavored, thermal, chilled, special-purpose – are an experimentalists dream!

    and the statement “…a calcium carbonate rod… inserted into the vagina to absorb fluid…” is confusing. if the rod vibrates, that would certainly defeat the purpose…

  8. ouch…ou plutot aie aie aie…

  9. JEEZUS – No, just no. Make mine slippery when wet, please!

  10. i wouldn’t last ten minutes in indonesia, the sloppier and wetter the better. yeah.

  11. There is a very disgsuting joke about a rough feeling fanny but I am sure everyone knows it.

  12. I love the idea of the ‘wedding dresser’ as being a person who prepares not only the Gypsophila in the hair and the correct sit of the veil, but the lubrication level of the vagina as well.

    Is there a male version of this? Someone who anoints the groom’s dong (kemaluan laki-laki) with fragrant powders to absorb any pre-ejaculate that may form during the ceremony and/or reception?

    I hope so.

    And all this powdering the poor girl’s innards with paprika seems a little over the top. Surely having a tampon in for an hour or two would do the trick?

    They could even work the removal of the tampon prior to sex into a sort of traditional ceremony, like the tossing of the bouquet.

    As for the male perspective, a gentleman never tells… but, i believe the formula is that ejaculation delay is inversely proportional to tightness multiplied by friction – the drier and tighter the lass, the less time the chap is likely to be able to hold off.

    So, if the groom has somewhere to be in a hurry after consummating the wedding, i guess dry sex would be to his advantage.

  13. Dry? No way! That hurts like hell!

    That doorknob? I would not really be comfortable “handling” that every day, but if I had one on my office door, it might discourage visitors…

  14. Chafing hardly begins to describe the outcome of Sahara Sex.

    Usually these types of practices victimize women only but not in this case.

  15. xoggoth: well others may know it but I don’t so spill the beans….

    gullybogan: I can see you’ve put a lot of intelligent thought into this. perhaps you could consider starting a new business – I think there could be an opening* for you there somewhere

    *yes, I selected that word on purpose

  16. hi Rob and Annie – I think we were all typing our comments at roughly the same time, I didn’t get to read yours until after had I posted mine.

    have you two got separate computers and if so are they in different rooms? because your comments often come so close together I’ve wondered if annie is sitting on rob’s lap as you both tap away at the keyboard 🙂

  17. Oh, ok but I did say it was really disgusting. I heard it at school.

    A chap picked up a very low class prostitute and started to have sex in the back of his car.

    It felt really awful, all dry and rough, so he told her he wasn’t interested. I can fix it, said the tart, come back in a minute.

    Sure enough, it felt fantastic, all soft and smooth. Did you use a lubricant, he asked?

    No, replied the tart, I just picked all the scabs and let the matter run.

  18. This must be why Indonesia is known as the chaftity belt.

  19. Sometimes I can take so much pleasure form lubing myself up I can quite forget that I am with someone else.

    lord likely – you’re back! how was the holiday?

  20. Good Lord, this gives an entire new meaning to “dry humping.”

    But, in all serious, that sounds truly awful in every imaginable way, not to mention dangerous (I imagine the man would be chafed raw).

    Isn’t the old adage, “Wetter is better” ?

  21. Oh, gee. Why don’t Indonesians just have their condoms designed with an all-weather radial tread as well to avoid hydroplaning and to corner those turns better on wet streets?

  22. I. Can’t. Even. Imagine! Owwwwww!!!!

  23. Maybe you people who are getting it on a regular basis have room to complain. Not me, wet or dry, I’m just happy to be there.

  24. xoggoth: Ewwwwwwwwwww! Now THAT is a tasteless joke.

    nm: There are more computers than people at our house. If the imagery of annie sitting on my lap while we post comments on your blog is doing it for you, well, then that’s how it is….except if that is really how it is, then the last thing we would be doing is blog commenting. Wink wink. Nudge nudge. Say no more. Say no more!

  25. God I used Milton to sterilse my baby’s bottles … there is NO WAY on earth it is going by my beautiful bits!!

  26. Vagina may smell like salmon, but it should never be smoked like one.

  27. Lysol douches used to be all the rage, but yuck! It burns on your hands, let alone delicate tissue.
    As one who is up in menopausal range, with the attendant occasional vaginal dryness, I vote against “dry sex”. Neither I nor the Boyo enjoy it, and tend to remedy the problem immediately. And like some others, I have a whole collection of lubricants available.
    Personally, I think the wedding dresser should be the best man, and should give the bride a good tongue lashing prior to the wedding.

  28. Sand Sex? No. Let me rephrase that–No. For the people hard of hearing? NO! And for those just arriving–No.

    Slippery, yummy, juicy goodness for this GnuKid. That first moment of entry is…luscious.

  29. Sadly, a big issue in SA too. Which exacerbates the HIV tranmission rate, because “dry” often means the vaginal wall is damaged.

    Awesome post on this here:

  30. Think my last comment got swallowed. But this is more common than you’d imagine. Along with female circumcision, where they cut your clit off. Which, quite frankly, is pretty fukken barbaric.

    I’m decidedly glad I don’t live in a society that marginalises women’s sexuality in this kinda way.

  31. The image of the smoker is killing me.

  32. hello mr nimble – welcome to the gimcrack x

  33. Dry vagina?? Ouch. No fun for the guy, let alone the gal. I keep the lube handy especially when a cardiovascular workout is going on.

  34. another fan of lube 🙂

    welcome to the gimcrack Spocker

  35. […] when nursemyra investigated the popularity of tight dry sex? Here’s the other side of the coin. Vaginismus is a condition which causes the vagina to […]

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