nursemyra loses her temper

nursemyra was in her favourite op shop today scouring the shelves for bargains. the dedicated unearthing of bargains requires concentration and mine was being interrupted by a dickhead on a mobile phone. I tried ignoring the inane conversation thinking it would soon finish and dickhead would carry on shopping but no. all browsing forgotten, he just paced up and down aisles relating the sordid details of his grubby little life while using his mobile as a megaphone.

about 6.3 minutes into the conversation he began talking about the state of his corns. “Mate” he says “I’ve found a cure for corns. I didn’t wash my feet for a week and now they’re almost gone…..”

which is when nursemyra thought “enough” and asked him to take his conversation outside. unfortunately I wasn’t wearing my usual intimidating attire of corset and whip and he just told me to fuck off and carried on talking. my pathetic paraphrased comeback of “I’m sorry, I’m going to have blog you and your stupid corns” sounded a lot less witty that when zoom said it about chicken fillets. I guess I should just stick to wacky medical related research. so here are some things I learned about corns and dickheads tonight:

at the end of the 19th century almost all corn removers used cannabis as their main ingredient

and a blue jay is more than just a bird with pretty feathers

but a dickhead with a phone is still a dickhead with a phone

image sourced on world of wonder

 

Published in: on May 17, 2008 at 1:54 pm  Comments (20)  

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20 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Possibly the only thing which would have affected him was to walk around with him while talking loudly to yourself, but into his non-phone ear! Drooling would be good too – – –

    On second thoughts perhaps a good kick to the crotch.

  2. Undeniably aggravating and you would have been justified if you went and stomped his silly ass corns to see if they’re really gone. Too bad you didn’t get a picture of him to post and forever link his picture with Nurse M’s definition of “asshole”.

  3. That’s a funny looking goddess – corns I suppose.

  4. Dickheads and their bloody, fucking cellphones… ARGH!

    I have never encountered one — and there have been far, far too many! — who, lacking sufficient gray matter to comprehend, had the decency to take his (or her) stupid, asinine braying somewhere else, where I would no longer be forced to listen to it.

    Whipping is too good these people, nursemyra. Thumbscrews, perhaps, or public caning would be more appropriate.

  5. yep he deserves a good stamp on his corns….. I would also like to include the annoying woman with a god awful squeaky voice, that tormented the whole of the train carriage with her tales of utter crap on the way home from work last week

  6. A kick to the crotch is exactly what the doctor ordered!

  7. I hate the ones who talk as they are walking down the street, oblivious to everything. I often have to dodge to avoid them on my scooter, as they stop without notice. And they can’t hear a damned thing, either. Two have gotten killed here recently walking on train tracks and didn’t hear the train horn because they were on the horn. Idiots shouldn’t have been on the tracks, but serves them right for being on the phone and bloody oblivious. I am afraid my cell-phone is for emergencies only, I have expensive pre-paid service, and family and friends know not to call my celly to chat.

  8. Just in case you think I am exaggerating: linky,

  9. no, I don’t think you’re exaggerating but the link doesn’t work. would love to see it – can you try again?

  10. That last image has now been indelibly burned into my memory… Thanks.

  11. you’re welcome 🙂

  12. i can rarely come up with the right comeback on the spot… anger and frustration squash creativity and wit. one option – get out your own phone, call (or pretend to call) a friend and say in front of him “you’re not going to believe this twat in the store – here, have a listen…” and then follow him around holding your phone near him as if you’re passing along the conversation.

    or, trip him.

    or, summon store security and say the man’s just grabbed your ass.

    daisyfae – those are the best suggestions ever! especially the first one. no wait, maybe the last one. hell, maybe I should have tried all three…

  13. Here you go, try this one:
    Story in Seattle Post-Intelligencer

  14. Oh, my word. I just now enlarged the last picture, and can’t believe he has his balls hanging out.

  15. yep 🙂

  16. now camel toe on women is one thing…

  17. moose knuckle?

  18. haha good one twinny

  19. I’m a celebrity! (And if it makes you feel any better Nursemyra, I can never think of anything clever to say when I’m pissed off either.)

  20. I feel marginally better now 🙂


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