put a leash on that leech and stop picking your ear

many cultures prize female virginity and advice about how to fake it has been bandied about for centuries.

Physicians, like Nicholas Venette who was active in the early Enlightenment, would write in their treatises ‘and here are recipes that you can use if you are testing a virgin to undo the effects of any of these sort of recipes that they might have tried to fake virginity’. So the doctors were on the game as well in that way.

There were many methods; bladders of small birds that were filled with blood that a woman would tuck up into her vagina so that then when she had intercourse for the first time the bladder would burst and there would be blood. A Venetian 10th century remedy involved putting little threads onto leeches, little leech leashes, and putting those leeches just at the entrance of the vagina and letting them feed because leeches’ saliva is an anti-coagulant. So then later on you would remove the leeches and you would have this very shallow, imperceptible lesion where it had been feeding that would then bleed very easily if it were touched or rubbed up against, as it would be in intercourse.

I discovered the above information via Australia’s Radio National Book Show when Ramona Koval interviewed Hanne Blank, author of Virgin: The Untouched History. Hanne also had this story to tell:

I think my favourite test…and this was one that was imparted to me by one of my neighbours here in Baltimore, by her grandfather who is quite elderly and grew up in the low country in Mississippi. He said that when he was coming up as a young man, the word on the street was that if you were making out with a girl and you were thinking about having sex with her and you wanted to know if she was a virgin, the thing you would do is the man would put his finger inside his ear and collect a little bit of earwax on his finger and then he would sort of sneak his hand down into the girls panties and touch her vulva with the earwax and if it made her scream, if it burned her and made her scream, this male secretion, then you knew she was a virgin.

and to prove nursemyra is not just all about deviant sexual trivia here’s an image of a really beautiful ear – the Sparkling Violet-Ear bird from Ecuador which I found here

Published in: on May 19, 2008 at 8:54 am  Comments (19)  

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19 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. If only I could remember that far back ……….

  2. I still don’t understand where Richard Branson features in all of this.

  3. I’m with Daddy P – – – If I can remember what he said.

  4. Hey, I missed that article on how to fake virginity. I have to keep an eye out for those warning signs, yes? “No, it’s okay…i can screw her…she’s just faking it.”

  5. Aren’t leeches so multi talented …. however, I think I will pass on that handy hint 🙂

  6. blood-filled bird bladders and leeches…women are pretty innovative, aren’t they?

  7. Back in them olden days, when there were Sultans and Genies and such, men with bad intentions would send a virgin to their enemies, ostensibly as a token of peace.


    But the virgins would have secreted in their vaginas fragile little bird eggs that had been emptied of baby bird, and refilled with horrible things like acid, and poison, and ground glass, and all sorts of other things that you wouldn’t want to go ramming your erect penis into.

    I imagine they got the idea from all this pretending to be virgins business.

    A trick that a girl uses as a way to make some chap happy, men take and turn into a weapon.

    Typical. I’m ashamed to be male.

    wow – thanks for that info gullybogan, I hadn’t heard of that before.

  8. Men are such fools. If they’re not worrying about their penis size, they’re trying to claim ownership of women. Imbeciles!

  9. I quite agree, tobym. It is we poor, easily deluded men who have been pwned!

  10. ‘ear ‘ear…

    God, I haven’t been a virgin for so long.

    But that’s beside the point. Eeeeeewwwwww!

  11. I lost my virtue to a Playtex tampon when I was about 12 years old. Not much Dad could have done to defend my honor, short of suing Proctor and Gamble, Inc.

    And just try saying “Leech Leash” three times fast!

  12. p.s. – please have a look at my latest post. I’m quite excited about it. 🙂

  13. It’s easy for guys to pretend they are virgins. When I want to pretend I’m a virgin, I just say I can’t find her vagina, and then finish in 37 seconds. Sometimes, I pretend to be a virgin on accident.

  14. tobymarx: your latest post is fantastic. I urge everyone to drop by and have a look

    unclekeith: hahahahahahaha……. stop it! you’re giving me a stitch….. hahahaha

  15. Thank you, sweetie-pie! 🙂

  16. And if a man puts his earwax-dabbed finger down there and he screams, it’s vagina dentata! RUN!!!

  17. ‘women are pretty innovative, aren’t they?’

    Aren’t we just!!! lol 😀

  18. Well, of course I’m sure you remember that I posted some time back a foolproof method for determining if a girl is still a virgin. This technique requires neither ear-wax, nor the kind of proximity to the subject that the ear-wax method necessitates.

    (Is it just me, or does anyone else find it… er… purely academic that once a bloke has reached the point where he has his hand in a girl’s pants he’s likely to care whether she’s a virgin or not?)

  19. I find virginity, like celibacy, to be highly over-rated.

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