is that your a jacklette?

nursemyra departed spain on tuesday morning and after a gruelling 3 flights landed safely at kingsford smith airport. singapore airlines did their best to entertain and feed me but they failed miserably with the seat allocation thing on the third leg of the trip. I had the aisle seat beside two ponytailed and moustached german youths with weak bladders though I suppose it did force me to move around the cabin and get the circulation pumping rather more than I would have done otherwise.

having watched several full length movies, I started flicking through the tv episodes on offer and chanced upon a Curb Your Enthusiasm that I hadn’t seen before. nursemyra loves Larry David’s excrutiating behaviour and this episode was about an ejaculation stain in the guest bedroom which Larry attributes to the wrong man. ensuing discussion reveals Jeff to be the culprit because boredom at Passover gave him a boner which he didn’t want to waste. I don’t know if I’m doing the storyline justice but several scenes were so funny I was crying with laughter.

it was when I made a sound somewhere between a snort and a hiccough that I noticed the germans were having trouble operating their entertainment screens, and had called for assistance. the helpful flight attendant asked them what channel they’d like and mr. ponytail replied “I’ll votch vot she is votching”.

I didn’t hear any germanic laughter during the rest of the flight so I guess observations about where jews scatter their jacklette didn’t translate well. just before touchdown I asked my seatmates if they were staying in sydney for long. “ve are here for the Faith on Film Festival …….”

I sincerely hope they’re praying for nursemyra.

Published in: on July 9, 2008 at 3:23 pm  Comments (29)  

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29 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Hey – God has a sense of humor, doesn’t he?!?

  2. Isn’t that the episode where at the end Larry looked as though he was retaliating using Jeff’s daughter’s doll??? Or is this some kind of perverted hidden away memory of my own? Oh gawd I hope not.

    yep, that’s the same episode. I don’t think the germans stuck with it long enough to watch that part

  3. Haha, poor Germans! I don’t think they can laugh at anything without slapstick. Have you seen the one where teenagers wrote “bald asshole” on Larry’s door?

  4. My mirror tells me that God has a sense of humour – welcome back Nursey – you probably need a rest after your holiday now …… oh well

  5. Reminds me of a cheap room I rented once, pulled out the bed to give it a much needed clean and found the most stiff and crusty air of male underpants I have ever seen. I thought it first it was some unknown species of lobster.

  6. Oh Hun you are home 🙂
    Hope you had a great trip

    How surreal/unfortunate to have shared a leg of the journey with such stereotypical characters… but fortunately makes for a great post though lol 🙂

  7. glad you made it home.

  8. glad you’re home safely! perhaps it wasn’t weak bladders – maybe they were taking turns going to the on-board chapel* to pray for your soul?

    *assuming singapore airlines has one. they are so accomodating…

  9. So you are mow officially an expert on Judajism?


  10. I don’t know what’s funnier, this post or some of the comments. Welcome back, you were missed on my list of must reads.

  11. Welcome back, m’dear!

    Your absence certainly hasn’t curbed my enthusiasm for your wondrous self!

    (See what I did there? Clever, I know).

  12. I like your description better than the show… “Arrested Development” however is very funny stuff.

  13. Just remember… cum is not cum, and I brings the ruckus to the ladies!

  14. Welcome home! Very glad to have you back. I’m inclined to agree with daisyfae re: the German boys’ “weak bladders”. By the way, that valentine card is as creepy as it is funny. Where on earth did you find it?


    tobymarx, there’s a whole website devoted to the words of selman-troyt, he’s a fictional character along the lines of Lord Likely. just type selman-troyt into google and I’m sure you’ll find the valentine’s cards

  15. Lol, I loved that episode.
    Larry David is so funny.
    You know he wrote and produced Seinfeld?

    I’m sure the Germans will survive
    their travel time with Nurse Myra.

  16. Welcome back nursemyra.

    The funniest scene I can recall about “jacklette” was from the movie “There’s Something About Mary” when Ben Stiller, on the advice of his pal, goes to jack off (so as to not overwhelm the lady) before his date with Mary. The jacklette goes off and is nowhere to be found. He meets Mary at the door and lo and behold the jacklette is hanging from his ear. Mary grabs it, figuring it’s hair gel, and applies it to her hair.

    Re: the Germans. Perhaps it was not weak bladders, but the presence of nursemyra – she of corset friday fame – which was causing something else that needed to be relieved?

  17. Good to have you back in the country. ‘Curb’ is just one more thing I have to get on dvd. The Abrams cult, hell I love a good fad anyone else joining up.

  18. The Germans I sent to keep tabs on you, my dear. They were sending text messages in the bathroom. Alles klar? 🙂

  19. Personally, I think Germany needs more Nurse Myra.

    Especially those who attend faith in film festivals.

    And welcome back. I hope you’re feeling restored!

  20. hey guys thanks for all the comments. I’ve just woken up aftr 16 hours of catch up sleep, will be visiting your blogs shortly x

  21. Just paid a visit to the Selman-Troytt Commemoration site. What a gem! Thanks, nm. :-))

  22. I guess you’ll be sending out some interesting valentines next year 🙂

  23. Faith in Film Festival. If they’d been to the LeBon concert with you and Daisy Fae, maybe they’d tried the Girls on Film Festival instead.

    Welcome back, and in a little known sexual history sidelight on the namesake of your airport, a picture exists of Kingsford Smith while he was in service in France, playing the banjo whilst Mae West stands on a makeshift stage behind him

  24. they’d have tried . . . sorry

  25. hahahahaha….. I can always rely on you for obscure aviation history can’t I? all I’ve got is my one and only Douglas Bader tale.

    and unfortunately, I didn’t go to London with daisyfae. if I did there would have been Friday corset shots from three different countries instead of only two.

  26. eeek! look what happens to my avatar when I don’t sign in!

  27. Even better when I can mix aviation and sex without a mile-high club reference, eh?

    And I want to hear the Bader tale. If anyone ever had a right to be an overbearing, combative asshole, it was him.

  28. well it’s not really a tale but my father (who was a rear gunner in lancasters) knew him. he came to our house for dinner when he visited new zealand but it was on a night when I was staying over at a friend’s so I didn’t get to meet him.

    he did, however, sign my autograph book (hey, I was only about 10 at the time ok?) so I have his signature. your comment made me go search it out and I’m not sure which one is his but I’ve narrowed it down to a choice of two. I’m hoping his is the one that is signed with a kiss 🙂

    are you interested in such things? you can have it if you want….

  29. Better you should keep it – you have the story to go with it 😀

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