another post about one of our eccentric australians…..
Neil Wilson, also known as the Fishman of Toolondo, was interested in the aquatic state of our distant ancestors. to this end, he developed waterproof fish suits which were intricately sewn and constructed from plastics and vinyls collected at the tip. according to a neighbour, Wilson “wanted to be a fish” and was in the habit of going to a reservoir where he would swim and often swing naked from the end of a rope, pretending to be hooked.
on 29 november 1995, he was found dead in the middle of a paddock. he was wearing one of his special suits which zipped up the back. it had two round holes for eyes but no other openings for ventilation. once inside it, with both his legs squeezed into the tail, he was unable to walk, only jump. It seems that, having tried out his new suit in the reservoir, Wilson was jumping back home when, overcome by exhaustion or lack of oxygen, he fell to the ground, was unable to extricate himself from the suit, and died.
less eccentric, but still fish obsessed is Victorian aquatic scientist and author of KamaSEAtra: Secrets of Sex in the Sea, Sheree Marris
Marris says her interest in marine sex began when she first discovered the meaning of the term “dork”.
“It was one of the things that I learnt while studying aquatic science.
“A dork is a whale’s penis and I thought, ‘how cool is that?’
“When we’re calling someone a dork we’re basically calling them a big dick because these things are absolutely huge.”
One of her personal favourites is the Deep Sea Angler (Melanocetus johnsoni), a grotesque looking fish that lives deep in the ocean.
“The female angler isn’t the most attractive thing but she’s in the deep deep depths so it doesn’t matter,” says Marris.
To attract a male, she secretes a sweet smelling perfume that arouses him so much that he is compelled to pursue and bite onto her.
“He becomes fused to her and basically becomes a blob of testicles on her skin.
“She then chemically commands him to release sperm when she wants, so she’s got this permanent sex slave.
“One female brought up from the depths had 11 males attached to her, she was one lucky girl.”
Readers also will learn that the humble barnacle has the longest penis in relation to body size in the world.
“It’s stuck to a rock so it’s going to be pretty hard to meet the opposite sex,” Marris explains.
“So it has this penis that can be rolled out and just go wandering around the rockpools in search of a mate.”
Dolphins enjoy casual and recreational sex just as much as we do, she says.
“Females rub themselves up against the beach and actually masturbate, males stick their penises in each other’s blow holes and rub against each other with their penises erect. They’ve been seen trying to put their penises in the shells of turtles. they’re not so sweet and innocent.”