you don’t know the half of it dearie

regular readers know we have a transgendered patient with some unfortunate physical shortcomings. it has been a long standing ambition of nursemyra to do a makeover on Duc and I’ve been reading up on Ray Bourbon to see if he had any tips.

Ray was a very interesting character and I urge you to read coolcatdaddy’s excellent site about his life which is where I found this extract from Ray’s unpublished memoirs

One mid-afternoon came the big love scene between Swanson and Valentino, on the deck, both leaning against the rail. They moved in for the kiss. Swanson broke away screaming and swearing about Valentino eating so much garlic that she couldnít get her breath. Bill Boyd and myself walked away quickly — we didn’t dare let them see us laughing.
Shortly, everything quieted down. Swanson and Valentino went to their respective rooms and the makeup men made the repairs. However, Valentino took some limburger cheese and rubbed it all around his mouth. Then, he wiped off just enough so that the stink would stay. He was powdered down and he and Swanson were ready to try the scene again.
The director had them move into position and started the scene. They moved slowly to each other — then, the kiss.
Swanson started trying to break away from Valentino. The harder she fought the more tightly he held her. she finally broke away and heaved all over Valentino and herself. He let go of her. I thought for a moment she was going all the way over the rail. I’ve never seen anyone that sick, Valentino was covered in vomit from his collar right on down to the deck. But he didn’t lose his reserve, he just turned away and went to his room.
Swanson slowly raised up, turned around and got her breath. She was screaming with rage “It’s not bad enough with the garlic, now he’s been eating SHIT!” she screamed as she went back over the rail.
there’s an even funnier story about a massive pile of real shit (you know we love shit stories here at the gimcrack) if you click on the link above and scroll down to Jean Barries and the elephant.
Ray’s life ended sadly as did Gene Malin’s who was another member of the Pansy Craze team and you can read about them and others on wikipedia. but the strangest pansy death of all was Bert Savoy’s
The story of Bert Savoy’s death is legendary and by all accounts true. On 26 june 1923 Savoy and two friends were walking along the shore at Long Beach watching an upcoming storm when a thunderclap prompted Savoy to squeal “Ain’t Miss God cuttin’ up somethin’ awful?”
He was immediately struck dead by a bolt of lightning…..
image taken by Dominic Gili at Sydney’s 2007 Mardi Gras
Published in: on August 4, 2008 at 8:00 am  Comments (19)  

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19 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I dont think I could handle having vomit on me… I think all composure would be gone especially if it was someone elses.

  2. I don’t do well with most other people’s body fluids either. I can deal with blood easily, and can clean up shit if I really really have to but vomit….. no way….

    that’s why I don’t do any actual nursing. it’s paperwork all the way for me now

  3. Poetic justice should always involve vomit.

  4. The whole thing makes me sick ….. whoops sorry ….. I’ll clear it up myself.

  5. So elephants pee first and then poo? How odd, I geuss us doing it the other way round is indicative of our higher status on the evolutionary tree.

  6. Ray looks like a choreographer i’ve worked with in the past. Hmmm…

    As for the freakish death scenes? Just a reminder that it’s dangerous to hang out with the lady-boys, right?

  7. Now you’ve got me looking at the sky! Those Sky Fairies obviously don’t have a sense of humour 😉

  8. I’m with you, Nursey, vomit is the worst. I retch right along with the patient. But even worse is someone vomiting old blood. Doesn’t happen that often these days with the new treatments for ulcers, but in the olden days…

  9. I have been following the umpteen layers of links relating to DUC. Hilarious, nurse M. I am seriously thinking of pruning the bloggoth coven back to just the Gimcrack.

    Turds in the sink, what else matters?

  10. Duc almost deserves her own blog. she loves the colour pink, believing it makes her look more feminine. yesterday she was wearing a new pair of socks in NEON pink. with a too-short pink floral frock exposing her VERY bandy unshaven legs, teamed with a pair of size 16 brown sandals.

    breathtaking!

  11. I pee first, must be lower on the tree of Evo possibly? It would explain a few things……

  12. Oh, I’m sorry. I read that as Panty Craze. Can we have one of those, please?

  13. what excellent stories ……. people covered in vomit and pooh.. just a normal day as you say in Gimcrack lol

  14. we don’t usually have real live elephants though 🙂

  15. I wonder what elephant vomit is like? Must smell like peanuts.

  16. they eat green stuff too 😦

  17. oh my god, he/she may have been the scantily clad serial rapist in Hornsby?

  18. no darling they’re all dead. but it could have been Duc

    https://nursemyra.wordpress.com/2007/04/10/turd-burglar/

  19. I followed this link from Just Making Convo and cant believe you were way ahead of the game. I had no idea who Rae was and now i’m hearing things left, right and centre…well, ok, just left and right, but still! Interesting stuff


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