bachelor machines

image by michael manning

Some people are prepared to go to great lengths to achieve sexual satisfaction. nursemyra does NOT recommend any of these practices.

the first documented death by sexual strangulation occurred in London: Franz Kotzwara, composer, celebrated double-bass player and a great libertine, paid a visit on September 2, 1791, to a prostitute to whom he gave 2 shillings to buy ham, beef, porter and brandy. After their dinner he asked her to cut off his genitals; she refused, but agreed to satisfy him by strangulation; kneeling, he hung himself with a rope tied to the doorknob. Five minutes later he was dead.

a pamphlet from that era describes in detail the sublime science of strangulation, referring to “the celebrated Patent Inventor of Spring Bands, who, through wonderful improvements in surgery and mechanics could invent a safe, agreeable and graceful mode of suspension,” and promotes the use of “elastic garters” for self-hanging and a product called “Vanbutchell’s Balsam of Life”. It is assumed that the eccentric quack Martin Vanbutchell himself wrote the pamphlet. At that time he placed advertisements in the papers that praised hanging and strangulation as a means to sexual satisfaction.

Many deaths occur during sexual stimulations with electricity, putting the genitals into a bowl of water together with both ends of a live wire, or touching the penis wrapped in tinfoil with one end of a wire, while the other end is held in the hand. autoerotic practices were referred to as “bachelor machines” by Michel Carrouge in his influential book “Les machines celibataires” (1954). This term is a very appropriate one, in so far as the actual practitioners might be anything between 8 and 80 years old, but on average they are in their mid twenties, and almost exclusively men.

I wonder if we’ve solved the mystery of what that suitcase full of straps was for…….

Published in: on September 3, 2008 at 8:26 am  Comments (18)  

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18 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I always thought “bachelor machines” were toasters. Still, I suppose you could always improvise and drop one in the bath.

  2. That rubber dolly has a fine pair of very sturdy legs ……. better than mine actually ……. for a bloke

  3. usually when i threaten to “…hold my breath until you let me have sex with you…” is close enough to sexual self-strangulation that i don’t need any straps or garters

  4. Do you mean to say that it’s on record that an 8 year old used one of these?! No way! When I was 8 I was still watching Saturday morning cartoons. I’ve always been a late bloomer.

  5. Senor Kotzwara must have been a little fella- I just kneeled by my door and my head’s way above the knob. Speaking of knobs…. when I’m swimming laps (now that even sounds dirty)I sometimes breathe in a little water and feel like I’m going to axphixiate. Next time, while I’m coughing, I’ll try to notice if my baggies get less baggy. I’m skipping the doggie strap and just getting myslef the tiny blue shorts.

    Francis Pants

  6. betcha look cute in those tiny blue shorts Frankie 🙂

  7. When i was a lad on the cusp of puberty, there was this other lad who insisted that the best way to have a good time with your new-found springy friend was to take Mr. Erection with you out into a likely part of the bush, and, by a careful manipulation of bits of bark and leaf, to have a bullant sting you on it.

    He swore by it. He said he had orgasms that lasted for hours.

    I think he may have been having us on. To, you know, get us to have ourselves stung on the dick by a bullant?

    But, nonetheless, i’ve always wondered…

  8. Bowls of water and live wires seem like too much trouble. I just get a bottle hand lotion and refer to my archive of corset Friday pictures.

  9. Erotic asphyxiation is sad… Surprised at the long history. Although not likely to result in much more than many “little deaths” the modern day female equivalent can be found here:

  10. Oi vey. Peoples are strange (when you’re a stranger).

    Mind you. There have been nights. When all manner of objects have been…um…well…objectified.


  11. But women sometimes say “strangle me” during the sexual act, Nursie. There must be something in it.

  12. When masturbation takes more effort than changing the oil in your car, you need to step back and rethink your views on the topic of self-satisfaction.

  13. SSSh Mr Bananas, people will talk….

    renalfailure: whenever I fantasise about watching a man masturbate it’s just him and his hand and it’s me who’s near the door, not him.

  14. ‘is your mind diseased?’… I guess that is a subjective/relative (not as in a ‘relation’ way ) term of phrase lol 🙂

  15. Am I a prude if I’m completley frightened to wrap the old boy in tin foil. It just seems like a really bad idea.

  16. I think wrapping it in latex sounds much more sensible

  17. yes, my mind is diseased.
    i don’t mind.

  18. me neither 🙂

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