don’t tease the phantom genitals

most people know about phantom limb syndrome, where a person who has lost a leg or an arm due to accident or illness can still feel pain where the limb used to be.

so I guess it’s not surprising that there is also a phantom penis syndrome. 60% of post operative men whose penises have been removed because of cancer or through transexual surgery say they feel as though they still have a joystick between their legs. these patients can describe its shape and length and even the sensation of phantom erections.

In horse breeding circles, semen is often collected from stallions using an estrous or ovariectomized teaser mare. An alternative to a teaser mare is to use a “phantom” mount – an inanimate mare look-a-like. Roughly 2 of 3 stallions can be trained to mount and be collected using a phantom.

it appears to be exhausting work for the stallion.

Use of an artificial vagina is far and away the most common method for collecting semen from stallions. Due to the large ejaculate volume, a collection bottle is used instead of a tube. An insulating blue cone is placed over the end of the AV to shield the semen collection bottle from thermal shock.

Cones have other uses too. this pink one from Feverbox is multifunctional

The shape has several benefits, it’s hand-free to start with and because its only moderately penetrative, our testers found that it seems to tighten the area in which it was being used! We are still looking into the benefits of this in muscle rehabilitation for post-pregnancy and incontinence sufferers

Perfect for the gimcrack’s leaky old people!

Published in: on September 16, 2008 at 8:33 am  Comments (27)  

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27 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. The helmets are a nice touch!

  2. you really are one filty beast. keep up the sterling work miss!

  3. At last, no more stealing cones from road construction projects for me.

    Reed Surfacing

  4. A phantom erection! It sounds like a pretty good resource for impotent men. A phantom orgasm would be the next thing.

  5. That poor stallion. 😦

  6. collecting horse semen? not on my list of “most desirable occupations”…

  7. Those pink cones look horribly uncomfortable!

  8. Timely! ….been working on The Breeder’s file this week. At least the stud has the illusion of a proper mount. No such thing for the broodmare. Not even a teasing nibble on the nape….

  9. Oh, have I run into a few teaser mares in my day…

  10. A friend of mine sells Bull Ejaculators ….. a fearsome object that is shoved up their arses and then quite a large voltage is turned on ….. which apparently turns the bulls on. Brought tears to my eyes when I met one …

  11. I’d like to be able to say that my ejaculate can cause thermal shock. Hell, I’ll say it anyway.

  12. Phantom penis pain? 😦 Damn.

  13. I have just come up with an excellent idea for a musical based around the phenomenon you have so elegantly described, m’dear.

    I call it, ‘The Phantom of the Post-Operative.’

    I think it will be a massive hit. Who wishes to invest?

  14. Just wondering if I could pass the ‘cone’ off as a lamp or some art piece for when my mother calls round?

  15. haha… good luck

  16. In the literature for the cone it talks of anti-natal use. Well, I guess if you use it exclusively, that would be anti-natal. However, one wonders if they meant ante-natal, which is entirely different.

  17. “if you used it exclusively” hahahahaha….. well spotted silverstar, I hadn’t even noticed

  18. Quick some get that horse a smoke!

  19. I want to know if that cone thing actually works…but sadly, it’s about a bagillion rand. Ag.

    And the horses love it. A lot. Of course, they love it more when they get a real mare to play with. Our stallion is hilarious. He makes some pretty wild noises. And the mares are vicious little tarts.

  20. This is what I found rambling through your links…

    Never eat a live mole! This seagull did, the mole tried to tunnel out and they both died.

  21. Wow! which link brought you to that image Tigereye?

  22. A cone? Why not? It’s not like I haven’t given other inanimate objects a try.

  23. *giggle*

    Moi aussi, mon amime….


  24. It was on the Colorado State website, which is where you got your horse-breeding info. I segued into other animals and neutering and metabolism and appetite, all of which is on their website, which is both scientific and humorous.

    Tee Hee!

  25. the things we find when we click on links…… now you know why I’m addicted to the internet

  26. That post-coital photo of the stallion just cracks me UP!

  27. That poor horse.

    They sell plastic vaginas for men in the adult erotica stores but I can’t imagine that would be nice or something I’d look forward too.

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